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Cirrial Guest

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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:37 am Post subject: [Store] The Feylon Tradeship "We're Still Alive?" |
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Store description:
The Feylon Tradeship We're Still Alive? is open for business. An elegant, shining and very aesthetically pleasing shop-front has been constructed, with sliding doors, catwalks, and all the other hallmarks of an advanced merchantile civilisation.
Currency Accepted:
Inventory:
Item #1:
Name: #BI-16 Biorbe Channeller
Classification: RP Item
Description: A red fleshy pod the size of a terrestrial acorn. If you manage to somehow implant it into an organic brain, it will turn the victim into a vessel of "The eternal will of Biorb". But we have concluded that it's effects are temporary and unreliable.
Price: 6500
Pic: -
Stock Requested: 1
Item #2:
Name: #ST-67 Stratan Analytic
Classification: RP Item
Description: It is one of the most powerful analytical and portable computers known to the universe. It scans for whatever criteria the user desires, and its interface is completely verbal. There is one minor drawback though. It has a defect meaning that it can perform three scans of any conceivable criteria ((one per post)), but after that it will self-destruct.
Price: 5500
Pic: -
Stock Requested: 1
Item #3:
Name: #DO-04 Doxison Jewelwinder
Classification: RP Item
Description: If you focus a beam of energy into it, it will spring into life and will act with eternally faithful obediance to the one who activated it. It can attack with beams of energy identical to that it was imbued with. It responds to mental commands, verbal commands, and physical commands. The Jewelwinder gains strength from magic and most types of energy, but it is also very fragile. You can use it as many times as you desire, providing it doesn't get destroyed first.
Price: 10000
Pic: -
Stock Requested: 1
Item #4:
Name: #PS-01 Psyvyyn Repulsorbomb
Classification: RP Item
Description: The Repulsorbombs on activation emit waves of mental energy designed to induce negative emotion in those nearby. The negative emotion induced could be sadness, anger, fear, or maybe something completely different.
Price: 4500
Pic: -
Stock Requested: 3
Item #5:
Name: #FE-98 Information Voucher
Classification: RP Item
Description: We're practically GIVING this away. This voucher will allow for one FREE visit by our Datagrabbers. Just send us a message ((PM me)) along with this voucher and we'll dispatch a crack team of Datagrabbers to give you the information you want.
Price: 1000
Pic: -
Stock Requested: 1
Last edited by Cirrial on Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:47 am; edited 4 times in total |
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Miyanokouji White Belt
 Old Friend
 Blackstar Native
 Power Apathy Party

Posts: 262
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:24 am Post subject: |
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I think a few of your descriptions are too long.
Your store description needs to be about 1/2 to 1/3 as big as it is. _________________ ...And that's how it ended. |
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Cirrial Guest

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Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Are my item descriptions still too long? >_> |
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Cirrial Guest

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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:44 am Post subject: |
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| It's been nearly a whole month and I've received no further contact regarding my store. If there's a problem with any of the items listed, PLEASE tell me and I'll fix them. My optimism is fading rapidly. |
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