When Worlds Collide

[Miyanokouji]

It's my story, which I wrote.
This post is the Table of Contents. Huzzah.

Stage 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Epilogue

Stage 2
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter The End (13)

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter I.


Al awoke to find himself in an unfamiliar room. He closed his eyes again, moaning at the light which was switched on.

"DP? Spook? Why am I here?"

No reply.

Al opened his eyes and got up. He looked at the mirror.
He couldn't see himself. Instead of the usual tail and fur, there was no tail and human skin.

"Urgh, my worst nightmare's come true."
Al flopped back onto the bed. He hoped he could maybe wake up back in the Corrupted Cave with his fur returned.
An old Pentium 1 computer turned on, on a desk next to the bed. Al heard the fan and looked at the screen. A message was writing itself in white text on the black screen.

Welcome to the real world, sucker.
Here you must work to earn your freedom.
Look in the mirror again.

...Go and look in the mirror!
Al looked back in the mirror, and back at the screen. It was blank again. Another message was being written.

Take a good look at yourself.

Al's eyes returned to the mirror. He spent a good minute looking at himself before he noticed. The thought hit him like a thunderbolt. Al stood in front of the computer, looking at the mirror, with a shocked expression on his face.

He couldn't believe it. He continued staring at his reflection in the mirror. His face was a pastier white than usual, and he was trembling.
He turned back to the computer and sat down.

Yes...I see you realised. I am quite surprised it took you this long.

Al typed on the keyboard, "Who are you? Where am I? Why is this happening?", but the words didn't come up on the screen.

So many questions, so little time.

Someone knocked on the door. Al's eyes widened. He glanced back at the screen.

You'll want to go to your new wardrobe.

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter II.

Al walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. He froze.
Whoever was at the door knocked again. The computer screen went blank and yet another message began writing itself.

I suggest you put something on.

Al stared at the screen, waiting for an explanation. Thoughts wandered in a stream through his head. "Why is this happening to me?". "Do I really have to wear THOSE clothes?". "When can I go back to being myself?". He noticed the screen had wiped to a DOS command prompt.

Al typed in DIR and hit return.

C:\>DIR

Volume in drive C is WIN98.
Volume Serial Number is 74AE-BFE0


Directory of C:\

30/09/2005 21:42 0 AUTOEXEC.BAT
10/12/2005 13:25 <DIR> Documents and Settings
21/02/2006 16:00 <DIR> Program Files
21/02/2006 18:28 <DIR> WINDOWS
22/02/2006 16:05 1,269 Your New Life.txt
2 File(s) 1,269 bytes
3 Dir(s) 4,364,125,687 bytes free

C:\>

Al typed in a command. A DOS program opened, revealing the contents of the file. The door was knocked another three times. Al turned to the source of the noise.

"Hello, are you in there?"

"I'm busy, sorry." Al said, noticing his voice was higher than usual.

"Are you feeling okay?", the woman's voice came back, sounding slightly worried.

"Err, yeah, I'm just busy, that's all."

"Well ok, I'll come back later then."

"Thanks."

Al returned his eyes to the screen. He began reading the file.

"If you're reading this, then you're in the real world. You must work for your freedom. Individual case notes follow.

Your new identity is Loki Stevenson, a 22 year old American. You have no job, no children, no friends. You have been moved into this body to improve it's owner's life. Remember, if you die here, your body dies, and both yours and Loki's souls die. You may wish to know why you are here. You are here because you continually bullied Earth and it's citizens, contradicting clause 811, part 4 of the Universal Convention of Gods, Spirits, and Lesser Spirits. This is your punishment. You must improve Loki's life. Your objectives are thus:

- Get a decent job. Whatever skills are required for this job will be copied to Loki.
- Get a partner. Loki is without husband, or even friends. Fix it.
- Get a car. Loki will be needing transport once she returns to this world.

You are not allowed to do any of the following:

- Kill humans.
- Anything involving illegal drugs/similar substances.
- Get arrested.

If you break any of these rules your freedom will be entirely revoked, and you shall be spending the rest of your life on an Earth maximum-security prison, in a human version of your body.

Paul Dunning, Lawyer ID #044F"

Al turned off the computer and leant back in his chair to reflect on what he had just read.
He wasn't himself. He wasn't even male! He had to fix someone else's life to gain back his own. The idea of it sounded unreal, like something out of a fantasy, yet he thought he best follow the instructions. He would rather not find out whether or not the Lawyer was indeed a Lawyer, or whether or not he was lying.

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter III.

Al thought it was time to find out everything about his location. He put on a long skirt and a matching shirt from the wardrobe. "Time to brave the 'real' world", he thought as he opened the door. He emerged in a well-lit corridor, bathed in neutral yellows and browns. A clock at one end of the corridor claimed the time to be 10:27, but Al felt it to be earlier. He noticed a table beside him, with a leaflet on it.

TWO OAKS HOTEL

***

Al sighed. Each answer seemed only to bring more questions. He pocketed the leaflet, walked over to a lift and went down to the ground floor. Al thought about how slow the primitive Earth technology was as it was travelling. Back in his childhood, he had though of Earth as all white walls and sterile laboratories. Of course, he knew better after he got out. Since joining the EC he had been so much happier. He wondered what had happened to all the other half-cats in that laboratory. He stopped moving for a moment, to pay respect to them. The lift arrived at it's destination. Al stepped out of the lift into a large hotel lobby and walked towards the reception desk.

"Ah, Ms. Stevenson, did you rest well?", a man asked as he nearly walked right into Al.

"Yes, thank you.", Al thought it would help him to be polite.

"Glad to hear it.", the man said, stepping into the lift. Al walked over to the reception desk.

"Good morning", the receptionist stated. Al thought, "No it isn't", but refrained from saying so.

"Um, yes. Why am I here?", Al asked, a confused tone in his voice.

"You know, you really ought to stop drinking so much." The receptionist had a smirk on her face.

"Yeah, but, just refresh my memory. Please."

"You're here because your father owns this hotel, the Two Oaks. You get to stay here for free, until the first time you leave. That is why you still live with your parents." Al reeled. This task would be a lot more difficult than he thought. He had to play a role as someone's daughter, even though he knew neither the parents or the daughter.

"Ok, but...Where is here exactly?"

"Oh Lords, girl. You've got it bad today. Sure you don't have amnesia or something?"

"Please, just tell me." Al was beginning to feel desperate.

"Fine," the receptionist sighed, "here is the Two Oaks hotel, in Georgia."

"That's a pretty big area, I still have no idea where I am."

"You should try to remember something for yourself.". The receptionist snorted.

"Fine, thanks for your help." Al would've dearly loved to stab that woman. He walked back to his room.

Upon returning to his room, Al noticed the computer was on again, and an IM window was on. He suspected it would be the Lawyer. Al found an extra contact in his list, 'Lawyer044@LawyerCorp.biz'. Al opened an IM window.

'So, you hacked my MSN account and added yourself as a contact, why?'

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Chapter IV

"So, you hacked my MSN account and added yourself. Why?"

The reply appeared on the screen almost instantly.

"Yes, I did. I did it because I have someone you'd like to talk to with me. How goes the tasks?"

"Haven't started. I only just woke up. Anyway, why is it me that has to improve Loki's life?"

"We needed a sucker like you that we could bully into doing it, and had good prospects of a decent job."

"Oh, hurrah and the like. So, who was it you wanted me to meet?"

------------------------------------------------------------
Loki has been added to the conversation
------------------------------------------------------------

"Loki, this is Al. Al, this is Loki"

------------------------------------------------------------
Lawyer 044 - Paul has left the conversation
------------------------------------------------------------

"No time for an explanation then"

"I've probably been filled in more than you, Al. I'll try to help you."

"Why would you want to? It could be said that I have stolen your body!"

"Hehe, nah. Don't forget that if you die, I die."

"Good point."

"So, you got the message from Paul?"

"The Lawyer? Yeah."

"Good. How's being a 22-year old woman?"

"It's different. I feel scarily comfortable."

"Hehe, I suppose and hope that that's a good thing. Just don't get too attached. "

"Heh. So, how's being a 13 y/o half-cat?"

"Umm? I'm a human. :\ Take a look at this."

---Recieving Your New Life.txt---

"Have a read of that, it should fill you in, it's what I got from Paul."

You have successfully recieved C:\Documents and Settings\Al\My Documents\My Recieved Files\Your New Life.txt

Al closed the IM window and looked at the fle. It was a lot larger than the one he recieved. He guessed the Lawyers were only out information on a need-to-know basis.

The file stated that Loki deserved a better life, and that she would be given that life by a 'trained life improver'. It claimed that this was a regular occurence on Earth and that the body she was in currently was a spare body that closely matched her own. It also said that her real body was in no danger, and described the same objectives as Al's note had. He re-opened the conversation with Loki.

"My file claimed that both of us would be killed if I didn't adhere to certain rules :\"

"Please follow those rules."

"Your body is safe with me, after all, mine's also up for ransom."

"A fair point. Any other things I should know?"

"I'm not a trained life improver, I'm a normal guy (well, as normal as I can be, being only half human.) from a place not on Earth."

"I think I've seen your body in this place. What do you think the Lawyer's will do to you?"

"I don't know. I'm not holding my breath for an easy ride home in the interdimensional ice-cream truck. As for you, they will probably wipe your memory."

"Why?"

"You know too much, you have found out about Lawyers, alternate worlds, and species that don't officially exist on Earth. If you ever told anyone, deliberately or otherwise, I assume a lot of things could go wrong."

"Gee, I won't remember you. You have my thanks in advance then."

"Heh, I best be going, got a CV to write and a lot to do for the tasks."

Al closed the program and looked for a while for a word processing program. He found none, and so began writing his CV in Notepad. he was glad for having taken business classes in the lab. It really was an odd way to be brought up for any lifeform, getting taught business studies against your will in a research lab. He had been taught just one year ago, before he had broken out of the lab. He always had wondered why there was a full education system in place in that lab. It all seemed so well planned. If the world never legalized such genetic modification, then the scientists would disappear from the face of the Earth, and go completely underground. They'd probably create a small community of half-cats and scientists. Al thought all humans were like that, just doing things to see if they could. He knew he was probably biased, but couldn't care less now. He returned his attention to Notepad. He had to concentrate on his CV.

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter V

By the time Al had finished his CV, it was mid-afternoon a week in the future. He had had a lot of help from the internet. In fact, the day before he finished it he found an example CV on lawercorp.biz. He sent it off to a few companies , and went off to have the first shower in three days.

During the week, Loki had been noticing many short, sharp bursts of pain. Thankfully they weren't all that painful, but she thought them odd enough to merit investigation. She asked the first Lawyer she saw, who replied,"Oh, that's probably just us copying the life-improver's skills to you. Well, the ones he's using for the tasks.", in an annoyingly cheery voice. Loki had to stop herself from saying 'Yeah, right', at the words "life-improver".

Upon completion of the cleaning process more commonly known as showering, Al decided it was time for a change of clothes. He thought back to the tasks, get fit, get a job, get a guy. He sighed whenever he thought of the final task. That one seemed much harder each time he thought of it. He would have to employ much tact in order for Loki to seem like a 22 year old woman, rather than a 13 year old boy. Al wiped his hands down his (well, Loki's) face, in despair. This world really was rubbish, compared to the Corrupted Cave. When he got back to the Corrupted Cave- No, IF he got back, he would have an insanity-off with the nearest grunt. Earth was driving him sane.

He thought again about how he would complete the final task. He was a teenager, and a hermit of one, at that! He knew nothing of relationships. An idea slowly formed in his head, taking at least a two minutes to develop. He could go to the gym, and get fit, with the partner-finding task in the back of his mind. He ordered the thoughts in his mind. First - Gym clothes. Al glanced at the wardrobe, still open from the week before. There were no gym clothes inside. He would have to buy some, but with what money? Presumably Loki had money, else she wouldn't have the drinking problem she obviously did. He took a good, long look about the room, something he had previously not done. It was a fairly small room, with an obviously flat-packed wardrobe. There was a window to the right of the wardrobe, opposite the door. The door was a standard hotel door, wooden and inexplicably shiny. A bookcase, filled with romance novels, was next to the door.

Al looked out of the window. There was a sign outside with "Welcome to Sunny California" on it. He stared, blankly, at the continuity error, for quite a while, before deciding that the sign was lying. For one thing, it wasn't sunny. It was a gloomy afternoon. He looked back at the contents of the room. There was little else in the room, just ordinary hotel stuff, like towels, shampoo samples, all the stuff you'd expect, even though Loki was living here semi-permanently. It took him a while, but Al eventually found Loki's purse, hidden behind a photo on the bookcase.

Al found the next couple of hours of Loki's life to be even more boring than writing the CV. He had gone to the nearby gym, bought gym clothes, and worked out for what seemed an age, but was only an hour or so. The monotony of excercising was something Al never wanted to do again, but did, for to become fit, he needed to excercise. For the next three weeks, he continued going back to the gym almost daily, and turned the rest of his time to acting tourist-y in the city. Towards the end of the those weeks, he had secured a job at a software company, and Loki's muscles had gotten toned.
Time for a social life.

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter VI
This chapter begins half an hour after the last, as, like all self-respecting women, Al has taken 20 minutes to get ready. (Well, actually, most of the time he was just looking for shoes. They seeemed to be impossible to find.) The remaining 10 minutes was spent finding a nightclub in the phone book.

***

Location: Outside the Two Oaks hotel.

It wasn't far to the nightclub, so Al decided to walk the streets of the city. Al noted that it was Atlanta, thanks to all the hotels with names like "Atlanta Hotel". Just after crossing a road, Al noticed a very peculiar feeling. 'Sad', he thought, and spun on his right foot. His elbow slammed into a man's stomach. He followed it with a left jab into the man's head, and twisted his leg up behind both of the man's knees, bringing him straight to the floor.

"Do not touch me again!", Al yelled with all his voice. He turned and continued on to the nightclub. Of all the things that had ever been done to Al by a human, that was undoubtedly the weirdest. He heard the man say, "Whoo, I like strong women. Omph!", and then a thud. THe man must've lost conciousness. 'Good.'

As soon as Al got to the nightclub, he went straight to the bar. He had seen so many women go to the bar in so many films in picture-in-picture boxes showing TV streams while he was coding, and it seemed to help them get a man. He didn't know why, but he seemed calm about the whole idea. Before long, a man had come up to the bar next to Al, and asked if he could buy Al a drink.

"Oh, yeah, thanks", Al's reply was cut and pasted right from a film.

"What would you like?" The man's breath smelled of mint, Al's favourite smell, second to salmon. Al noticed the man had no ring on his finger. 'Uhh. Why am I noticing this!? I hope it's just something stress related.' Al knew he'd be scared if it wasn't. 'Oh yeah, there's a guy talking to me. Hmm.'

"Orange juice", Al said eventually.

"...Are you sane? You come to a nightclub and you don't have an alchoholic drink?"

Al began to say something, but the man had turned back to the bar.

"My usual and something soft for the lady." The man winked. Al began to protest, but only got as far as, "But, I" before the man interjected.
"Come on, girl, live a little. This is a nightclub." There was a sort pause, "It's only something soft."

"Umm. I guess it can't be too bad then?" Al said, in a higher pitch. The man laughed, and wrappped an arm round Al's back.

"You'll like it, I'm sure."

"Here y'go!", the bartender announced, overly cheery, placing two glasses in front of Al and the man. They picked up the glasses.

"So, what's your name?", asked the man.

[Miyanokouji]

Chapter VII.

Al had to think for a moment before replying, "Oh, uh, I'm Loki. Loki Stevenson."

"Loki Stevenson, nice name," the man said, and it seemed like he meant it, "I'm Paulo Sosa. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too. Hmm...." Al shook his glass, "This is quite nice."

Paulo winked at Al and said, "Yeah, this place does good alchohol." In the short silence that followed sirens were heard. Two, maybe three.

"Hmm." Al looked towards his arm, mocking looking at his watch, "I've got to go soon. Err, d'you have a pen? I could write my number down for you."

Paulo produced a pen and handed it over. Al wrote down the number he had memorized from the leaflet, "You'll have to ask for me."

"This is the Two Oaks' number. D'you live there?"

"Pretty much"

"Cool, I stay there. What room are you in?"

"Room 202"

"Awesome! I'll come over sometime!", Paulo genuinely sounded pleased. The sirens grew louder.

"Alright, good. I'll come over sometime."

"Ok, I have to go now," Al looked towards the door, just in time to watch a SWAT group of 3 men burst through the door, knocking it clean from its hinges.

"Alright, nobody move!", commanded the first.
"Everybody freeze!", added the second.

Al was hiding behind a wall. The nightclub was by no means a rectangle. It had peculiar bits everywhere. Two of the three SWAT men began walking about the nightclub. A low rumbling was heard. A helicopter on its way.

The men continued walking about the club, obviously looking for something or someone. The helicopter arrived. There was a brief pause, a noise was getting higher. The sound burst through the ceiling. A chain gun. Glass smashed to the floor from the skylights. Panic ensued, many of the people in the club making a break for the door. Al was one of them, running to the door. The S.W.A.T. man at the door recognized Al, and fired a bullet at him. A direct hit. Al kept running, and jump-kicked the man through the door. He looked at where he'd been hit. A tranquilizer dart. S.W.A.T. members came up behind him, but he ran through the door and out onto the street. Onto the street, straight into a dead end. Three police vans. No way he could get past them. The S.W.A.T. members that were previously behind him, were now right next to him.

Al woke up in a new place. Metal and glass, everywhere. Very modern. He stood up. He was in a cage. He put his hands on the bars. It took a while, but he noticed he wasn't pink. He had fur.
A huge brawly man walked up to the cage, and opened the door.
"Get in front of me.", the man's voice was low and very grumbly. Al felt a gun being poked into his back. "Walk."

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter VIII

Al was led (well, pushed) through various rooms and corridors into an auditorium-like room. It was dark as he went in. He was taken to a seat.

"Sit.", Al hated that man's voice. Al gave the man the finger, behind his back. The room lit up. It was a theatre in all practicality. Al was seated in one of the rows halfway between the back and the stage. A light shone right into Al's eyes. Some men appeared from below the stage. One was wearing a wig, though Al couldn't see.

The wigged one spoke, "We have met today to discuss the fate of this half-cat, member of the Evil Council, Al200002.". 'They must be Lawyers', thought Al.
"If prosecuted, the defendant will be spending the rest of his mind's lifespan a gelatinous blob in a jar. Otherwise, he goes free.". 'My whole life's on the line...'

"Call the prosecution.". Moments later, another Lawyer appeared from the floor. He began to speak. "Play the footage." On a screen to the left of the Lawyers, who had turned round, CCTV footage showed a young woman injure a man on the corner of a street in Atlanta. A collective "Oooh" was let out by the Lawyers as the woman punched the man in the head and tripped him up. 'I'm going to die....'
"Next footage, please."
The video changed to CCTV footage inside a nightclub. There was glass covering the ground, and people running left to right and right to left. It was mayhem.
"Zoom in on the target"
The video restarted, and zoomed into a square on the right. The same young woman was running across the building. She ran out of the door.
"Camera two, same magnification."
The video restarted again, this time behind the woman, and showing the guard at the door.
"Pause!" said the man, just before the woman reached the door, "Camera three, normal magnification. Play."
The video switched to another view, the woman on the left and the man at the door. The woman jumped up, and pointing one foot forward, slammed into the man. He was unconcious in a second.
"Incredibly violent behaviour. Add that to his previous record, I don't think anything could make up for that."
There was no defence for Al. The wigged Lawyer spoke,
"Well, taking both sides into account, the defendant is to prosecuted. Prepare the jellifying machine." '...But I'll go out fighting...'
"Yes, sir." Two lower-down Lawyers walked off the stage. Al heard a mechanical whirring. He was pushed quite hard, and slid along a platform above the chairs, that wasn't there before. A giant colander and a platform lowered from the ceiling on wires, and hung high up in mid-air. The two Lawyers that had exited the stage were on it. A large hole was left where the platform had previously been. Something was inside the hole, but it was too dark to see. The section of platform Al was on lifted up to the height of the colander. 'Here goes...'

Al stood up.
"Hey, you can't-" came the cry of two people standing on the platform next to the colander. Al jumped before they could continue their sentences. He fell a long way, landing cleanly on the platform on the seats. The Lawyers on-stage stood up The half-cat ran across the thin platform, and jumped high, slamming his foot into the Lawyer in a wig. The other Lawyers scattered to various corners in the room, where assault rifles lay in glass cases with "In case of emergency, break glass" written on in red letters. 'Gotta get out of this room before they can load their weapons....'

Al turned round, and ran back along the thin platform, jumping off where it had raised, and back on after, to ensure maximum speed. The man who had led him into this room had long gone. There was a glass case at the door, which Al kicked in. 'It'll be no use compared to my weapons, but it'll be better than nothing..' He grabbed the gun and ran out the door.

[Miyanokouji]

When Worlds Collide, Stage 1, Chapter 9

Al darted through the corridors, avoiding or shooting anyone that got in his way. He was truely on a mission. He soon realised he was completely lost. Then he noticed the handy signs, which were unfortunately written in Lawyerspeak.
There were several places though. One sign read:

You are on Floor 3.
Detainment (Floor 0) -->
Parking Lot (Floor 0) <--
Prosecution (Floor 1) <--
Court Cases (Floor 1) -->
Suing Halls (Floor 2) <--
Defence (Floor 2) -->
Sentencing (Floor 3) -->

Al attempted to decode the sign, to no avail. So he decided to try each place in order. Thankfully, "Detainment" means "Jail and confiscated items area" in Lawyer, and he ran straight to where he wanted to be. (If you wish to know, he used the stairs to go down the 3 floors.) The "Detainment" area was covered in Lawyers, unfortunately for Al. Stealth, cunning, and wisdom would be required. Al cartwheeled across a doorspace, to see how many were inside. 'At a rough estimate, 10'. He removed the gun's magazine, and turned towards the door, swinging his arm through, and lobbing it at a Lawyer. Most of the Lawyers in the room noticed, as he heard louder chattering, and quickly replaced the magazine with a filled one. A short Lawyer was the first out of the door, and Al quickly gunned him down. No other Lawyers came out of the door.

An alarm sounded, and a grenade was thrown from the door. It exploded, making a high-pitched noise, and shooting smoke in all directions. Al walked away from the area, and round a corner. No doubt there was a team of Lawyers, heavily armed chasing after him right now, as well as all the ones in the "Detainment" area. He checked the clip in the gun. Sixty bullets a clip, and he only had grabbed two. Just sixty bullets with which to remove nine Lawyers. He wheeled back round the corner, and shot through the smoke. The smoke was clearing, and he saw he had hit three Lawyers. Another six to go. Probably only fourty bullets left.

Al heard footsteps behind him, and turned on his heel. Another five Lawyers, this time toting guns. He blasted them away with the assault rifle, before they even knew he was there. Still another six Lawyers, now probably just ten bullets left... Al's situation looked bleak. He turned back towards the room. A Lawyer opposite him. Al pulled his trigger and thought, 'No longer.' The gun clicked after the Lawyer had had several holes put in him. Al dropped the clip from his stolen gun, and let it fall to the floor. He ran up to the door, and looked inside. The remaining five Lawyers were inside.

The unarmed Lawyers inside the room were easy to deal with, he just walked in, and beat them with the stolen rifle. His weaponry was in a pile on the floor. The Lawyers hadn't had time to put them in the correct places, or perhaps they wanted him to escape? He couldn't ask questions now, he had to get going. He remembered the way he had come from, and walked in that direction while equipping his weapons and wristband. Once finished, he drew his pistols, ready to remove anyone in his way.

And remove he did. He left a trail of dead Lawyers behind him, many with a single bullet hole in their heads or hearts. Reaching the Parking Lot was no trouble at all to him. The Parking Lot had a pair of double-doors, with a wall in between each door. Obviously you weren't meant to drive cars (or ice cream trucks) inside the Lawyer's building. There was a Parking Lot operator in a small building-like division in the corner of the lot, and the rest was all parking lot, with the ice-cream truck clearly visible. Al ran over to the building-like division, and opened the door. He pointed his pistol at the lot operator inside, and asked, "Can you drive the Interdimensional Ice-Cream Truck?". The man replied to say he could. "Right then," Al said, "To the Corrupted Cave, please. And don't try anything funny, or the contents of this gun will become permanently lodged in your brain. Ok with that?" The operator nodded.


Al motioned to the operator, and he stood up, and followed Al out of the door, to the Interdimensional Ice-Cream Truck. They hopped in, and Al kept his pistol pointed at the side of the operator's head. A weird trip later, which Al thought looked like the images that TV programs put on to show a dream of someone who's been at the LSD, they arrived at the Corrupted Cave, right outside the Janitor's Closet. "Thanks for the ride," Al said, and shot the parking lot operator, before opening the driver's door, and kicking the man out, "The slime'll enjoy you."

Most of the EC turned up at the landing site of the Ice-Cream Truck, inquiring as to his position for the past month. "Look, I'm tired, and the Lawyers fuzzed up my wristband. I'll talk later.", he said, walking into the Janitor's Closet.

He managed to fix his HUD display and wristband within moments, and placed his weapons in their store, before flopping onto his bed and going to sleep.

[Miyanokouji]

Stage 1 - Epilogue

The busy city of Atlanta, Georgia. A place she hadn't seen for four whole months. She had a job now, and that made her happy. She had the money to go on holiday. She'd given her new friend a ring, he seemed a nice guy. Her life had become so much greater, although she didn't remember how. She didn't mind though, better not to remember and have a good life.

*** 3 Weeks Later, near Antarctica ***

She smiled, and looked at Paulo. Then she paused. She was amazed at how good life had become. It was an overwhelming feeling of joy. She was on holiday with her boyfriend in Antarctica, on the most luxurious cruise ship in the world. Life couldn't be better. She felt something brush against her shoulder, and turned round. It was a figure in a dark cloak, followed by two more, and a man dressed as a cat. He even had a tail. 'Anime buffs', she thought. The man dressed as a cat spoke, "My apologies.....Loki.", and then continued behind the rest. She wondered who it was and how he knew her. Oh well, best not to ask too many questions.
"Does that guy know you?", Paulo asked.
"Seems so.", she replied.
"Ah, can't remember him. Should I find out who it is?"
"Nah, let's forget it.", she turned back and hugged Paulo, "Love you."

[Miyanokouji]

Stage 2 - Chapter 1


Al woke up to the sounds of explosions. He went to his weapons store and took a pair of SMGs, an assault rifle, and his favourite pistols. The assault rifle was slung over his shoulders, the SMGs were placed in inside-pockets in his black labcoat, and one pistol went in its holster. The other remained in his hand. A pair of explosions, and a giant shell was placed in front of Al's foot. There was a big hole in his wall, going all the way through. He opened his secret door, into the Janitor's closet, which also had a hole in the wall, and went through to the main tunnels of the Corrupted Cave. There was no-one there, just a used shell-turret. The Interdimensional Ice-Cream Truck had gone, too. Addman ran up to Al, the scimitar of Corruption in his right hand, with Seph and Raven following behind him.
"I expect it's the Lawyers," Addman said.
"Mmmmmmyeeeessss......." Added Seph, unnecessarily.
"Well, let's get them for it?" Al suggested in a demanding way. He had been hoping to mod the Truck, so this had annoyed him.
Addman began to speak, but was interrupted by a weapon of some kind, "I don't know where they-ARRRGHHH".
"Umm, there is a Lawyer stabbing Addman.", Raven stated, while Seph began wrestling the Lawyer. Seph won easily. The Lawyer appeared to be attempting to beat Seph with his binder, but failed miserably, due to the fact that the Lawyer could barely pick the binder up in the first place. Seph finished the Lawyer off by drawing his knife and stabbing the Lawyer in the face, in one swift motion.

"We lost the truck though," said Addman, while putting his scimitar in its sheath, and nursing his wound.
"Not so," Al began, pulling a small box out of his pocket, "I can use this to track them accross all five dimensions."
"Five?" Seph hadn't hung about with Al enough.
"Yes, length, breadth, depth, time, and alternate realities. The alternate realities being the ones more commonly called dimensions."
"Guh?" Seph still hadn't understood.
"It tells me exactly where in the multiverse the truck is."
"Ahhhh. Let's go get it!"
"We can't", Addman butted in, "there's probably another Lawyer in the cave."

Fort came running up as fast as his various legs could take him.
"Right", Al said, "Let's split up. Fort and I shall go to the cafeteria and organize a group to steal back the stolen back icecream truck that I stole, and Addman, Raven and Seph, you guys go after the other Lawyer. We'll send some backup. Now let's go!"
Fort grabbed the chance while he had it, "Oi! I'm the Headmaster, I'll say the commands." Al shook his head. He knew what was coming next, as Fort continued, "Let's split up. Al and I shall go to the cafeteria and organize a group to steal back the stolen back icecream truck that Al stole, and Addman, Raven and Seph, you guys go after the other Lawyer. We'll send some backup. Now let's go!"
"Alrighty," Addman said, and walked away from Al and Fort, with Seph and Raven.
Fort and Al walked towards the cafeteria. Once there, Al picked up a sugary bun thing that looked suspiciously like the slime covering the walls.

[Miyanokouji]

Stage 2 - Chapter 2

Once everyone had gathered, and Al had stopped making annoying chewing noises, Fort began the meeting.

"It can't (Unless you oversleep) have escaped your notice that we have been invaded by Lawyers. There is still a Lawyer in our cave, and Al wishes to go find and steal the Transdimensional Ice-cream Truck again. Now, we'll need to organize some teams. I need three members willing to accompany myself and Al to steal the truck, and another two to go find Addman, Seph, and Raven, to help them find the remaining Lawyer and remove it. Those for helping Al put your hands, or forward limbs, up please."

Dement's robot lifted a limb, "I'll go. Any adventure with Al has got to be bound with hilarity."
A little while passed, and Fort spoke again, "Two more people, please."

Cloud and HollowEyes uneasily put up their hands.
"Alright!", Fort said, "Violet will be your backup for this mission. Now, two more of you for for going to help Addman, Raven and Seph?"

Several EC members put up their arms, one after the other. Al sighed, and said under his breath, "When did I get so unpopular?"
Fort poked Al, "You never fixed the haymaking machine."
"Pfft. Stupid reason."
"Anyway!", Fort yelled, "The two that put up their hands first will go, which were HisLordship and Ruster. Kat will back you up. Violet, show Kat to the comms room, Al, Dement, Cloud and HollowEyes, you follow me, and HisLordship and Ruster, wait for further instructions on your radios. Everyone else, do what you normally do. Now everybody, let's move!"

The two back-ups went through one tunnel towards the central hub, the Lawyer fighting team stood around, and the Ice-cream Truck hijackers went to the parking lot.

--Meanwhile, with Addman and the other two, running through the Corrupted Cave's tunnels..

"We'll never find that Lawyer, it's hopeless," Seph stated.
"Nah, we're sure to, eventually.", Addman replied.
"As if."
"Wait a sec," Raven said, "If I were an invader wanting to bring the EC to its knees, where would I go?"
"The central hub!", Addman gasped.
"Well, let's go that way?" Raven asked.
"Alrighty!"

--At the central hub

An explosion resonated throughout the room, and then a metallic voice spoke throughout the cave, "Our auto-flushing systems are down. Repeat: Flushing the toilets is now a manual operation"
Kat yelled into a walkie-talkie, "Guys! Get your buttocks down to the central hub!"
Addman replied to this, "Already there. It's a mess. Shrapnel everywhere Lordship, Ruster, any chance of moving?"
HisLordship responded within moments, "Way ahead of you."
"Alright, let's do this!", Addman screamed, and leaped into the central hub from a higher level, scimitar drawn, while Seph decided it better to do so without drawing his weapons. Raven, of course, flew down.
"Lawyer, you're going down!", Seph yelled, and drew his knife.
The Lawyer shuffled towards the group, and began chanting, "Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue! Lawsuit! Sue! Sue! Sue! Sue! Lawsuit!". The scrawny being looked at his bag, and drew a grenade from it, throwing it high into the air at the group and removing the pin in one swift movement.

Given their momentum, it would be next to impossible to pick it up and throw it back, and the grenade's blast would've killed them had it blown.
At this exact moment, HisLordship flew through the door, directly into the path of the grenade. The tiny bomb bounced off his beak and down to an exit. It exploded and took out another couple of computers.

The same voice rang out again, "We have lost automatic vacuuming service, repeat: No cookie crumbs shall be cleared up. We have lost control over the water pump, repeat: Cave shall be flooded in 15 minutes."
The group made quick work of the Lawyer, killing him before Ruster even entered the hub. The voice rang out a third time, "Warning, cave flood situation worsening. 12 servers remain. Redistributing server load....Server load redistributed. Water pump control back online. Toilets remain unflushing and cookie crumbs uncleaned. Please install new servers."

"Ah, that's good to hear," Seph said.
"No! No it isn't! It isn't good at all! I'll get cookie crumbs everywhere," Addman wailed, eating a cookie to help with the sadness.

[Miyanokouji]

Stage 2 - Chapter 3

--Aboard the ECMobile

"Not enough space!", Al yelled, above the rest.
"Too bad!", Fort yelled back.
"Can I drive!?", asked Dement, in a yell-y way.
"No! I drive because I can drive! OW.", Fort replied, also in a yellish way, while hitting into another transdimensional traveller.
"Watch where you're going! I'm trying to beat Al at programming!", Cloud shouted at Fort.
"Sorry! You guys are distra-OW-ing me!", Fort replied, shouting and hitting a second traveller.
"Offa the transdimensional road, biatch!", shouted the other traveller.
"Sorry!", yelled HollowEyes, out of the window, "It's the others, they're all a bit loopy, you know?"
"Alright! Done!", Al sounded pleased with himself.
"What?", Cloud asked.
"I've made her."
"Made who? A virtual girl of your species?"
"Nono, I've made ROSE."
"A virtual girl in general?"
"Nope. Responsive Offensive Sentient Emulation. R.O.S.E. An AI to help me in combat and other things. She has two miniature machine guns. I'll boot her up.", Al said, pressing a button the side of a red cube with various rivet-like covered holes, and setting it down onto the floor.
"Well...This'll be the first test, anyhow," Al said, waiting. Soon the cube lit up, and hologrammatical text appeared above it. The text read:

R.O.S.E. booting...
PLease wait...

The dots were animated and programmed to stop whenever it was failing. Eventually the hologram text changed to say "R.O.S.E. Online.", which faded to transparent. The cube sprouted legs from the rivet-like holes, which had opened, and moved them towards the floor. Eventually the legs took its weight. It scuttled across the EC mobile.
"Activate voice function", Al said in his usual voice.
"AAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!", the metallic female voice rang back.
"Don't you love her?"
"Wow," Cloud said, gobsmacked. Fort was too busy laughing to do anything else. Including drive the ECmobile.
"Uhh, Rose, would you drive for us? There's a plug here," Al said, unclipping a socket protecter. The small cube extended a flexible probe and inserted it into the socket. The ECmobile began flying straight and narrow.
"Where are we going?", Rose questioned.
"To the Lawyers!", Cloud and Al said in unison.
"AAAAAAAALRIGTY THEN! Connecting to MVPS."
"Yeah. She needs more confirmation phrases, but eh. I'm lazy and I needed it done quickly. I can work on her more later," Al said, attempting to explain.
Dement activated his speaker for the first time in a while, "I happen to quite like it. Also, what's an MVPS?"
"Multiverse Positioning Satellite," Rose said before Al had finished opening his mouth, "Connection confirmed. Locating us....Located. Looking for Lawyer base.....Found. AAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!"
The ECmobile jumped into life and sped towards the Lawyer's base.

Once arrived, Rose parked it next to the Lawyer's building in their car-park and disconnected her wire, then said, "Shall I guard the car or follow you?"
"Follow us," Al replied, "we could do with the additional firepower."
The group walked up to the door in silence. Fort then spoke, "Ok. I'll go on ahead. Nothing like being first.", and shadow-travelled through it.
"Rose, door, if you please," Al said.
"AAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!", Rose said, and some rocket boosters came out of some spare rivet-like holes, lifting the cube into the air.
"Hmm. It'd be a good idea if you were cloaked," Al said to the cube.
"AAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!", she replied, and dissapeared from sight.
"She has a much better cloaking device than the one I used in forumopolis," Al explained, "it was the main thing I'd been working on, besides the AI. Oh yeah, she's sentient, by the way. That means feeling. Don't upset her or you'll pay in blood. She's programmed not to mortally wound you though, so you won't die by her."
"That's right!" Rose said, sounding happy. 'A computer that sounds happy. The wonders will never cease', thought Fort, sarcastically.

"Ok, unlocked and opened the door. Let's go," Rose commanded. Al pushed a button on his wristband, and a marker appeared on a mini-map showing Rose's location. This angered the cube, who turned and pointed a gun at Al, although you could't have seen it. Rose spoke, "Al, I'm not a child, I'm a highly sophisticated AI robot! I don't need to be kept tabs on!", to which Al replied, "I know. I just don't want to lose you. What if you get badly damaged, but the cloaking remains on? How would I find you then?"
"Fair point," the cube relented.
"Now, let's go in. Fort's probably storming the place in a random fashion, but we should concentrate on the special underground truck park. Rose, you go help Fort. Set yourself to shoot-everything-in-sight mode."
"AAAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!" the tiny robot replied, "Sounds fun!" A hologrammatic image of a smiley face appeared in the air, which moved away and up the stairs.
"Ok," Al began to organize things a little, "We'll go into the special ice-cream truck maintenance garage. I'm sure that we can all think for ourselves after that."

The group moved down the stairs into the underground, and found themselves in a completely white hall with a low ceiling, where they could barely see each other for the light. A few seconds of walking through it, and a voice was heard over the loudspeaker, "Unidentified intruders on floors 2 and -1. Major threat at floor 2. Excercise extreme caution. Attempt to sue."
"Great, Fort's taken the attention away from us. Then again, the ice cream truck is on this floor," Al mused.
"Keep going down this hall please, it's hurting my eyes," pleaded HollowEyes.
The whiteness eventually gave way to a blue-lit square, with a door on the group's left. The opened and went through, into the ice-cream truck maintenance garage. It was a very tall and generaly large room, with a catwalk on the roof.
"I'll go up, and provide cover for you two," Al said, jumping onto a small building inside the garage, and then climbing up a ladder.
A Lawyer in the building saw this, and spoke into a phone, "I need immediate backup for lawsuits and sueing at the truck garage. Come armed!" The Lawyer picked up a handgun and stepped out of his office. But HollowEyes had already seen him, and leapt at him, fists whirring in a circle. The Lawyer had no chance of survival, and so promptly un-lived.
Cloud was on the other side of the garage, scoping out the truck. There were two technicians under it, presumably fixing it a bit. He wouldn't attack them in case they got it and it didn't work. For a moment, there were no Lawyers in the room, other than the ones Al was dealing with on the catwalk.

A large group of Lawyers suddenly burst through the door the group had entered from. HollowEyes saw them first, and ran over to the middle of the room, calling, "Al! Door!". Cloud heard the call and turned to face the group of Lawyers, which was still expanding, but was soon distracted by another group of Lawyers attempting to barge their way in the fire escape. Cloud shifted out of his body and used his spirit magic to fling a block of ice at the door, keeping the Lawyers at bay for a moment, then returned his attention to the group coming through the door, and fired bolts of lightning at them. Al was ready to fire at the first group of Lawyers now, and did so with relative ease. He took out six Lawyers with a whole clip, then paused. He hadn't hit a single head, and if he continued this way he would hit HollowEyes. He ran over to the edge of the catwalk, closer to the entrance of the room and said into his radio, "Rose, Fort, we could do with some assistance on floor -1" He returned to firing at the Lawyers, with greater accuracy. It was still pretty bad. He was too high up to help them, so made a quick decision, and yelled at HollowEyes to back away from the Lawyers. He got a grenade out from its place in his holster, and jumped off the edge of the catwalk, turning to face the Lawyers. As he fell, he threw the grenade at them. The Lawyers waddled about a little, all the while screaming, "Lawsuit! Lawsuit! Argh! Losing the case!", while Al fell through the roof of the small building. He had braced for it, and was quickly up on his feet, but the Lawyers were still coming through the door. Rose was nearing though, the blip on his HUD told him. That would help.

Cloud flung an ice block at the Lawyers at the door. Several of them were pushed back, and a couple wounded. Al noticed that Rose had entered the garage. The only one left was Fort. He spoke into his radio again, telling Fort to hurry up. Rose began firing relentlessly at the Lawyers with her miniature chain gun, and Al had put his pistols in their holsters and grabbed the assault rifle he'd been carrying, and followed the same way of action as Rose. After a short while of sustained fire, the voice rang out through the rooms again. First it sighed, then said, "Okay...Fine...Pull out of the garage. We've lost too many. Send in the First Classes."

Rose returned to visible and said to Al, "First Classes?"
Al stuttered and decided he didn't know, and was interrupted in his stuttering by Fort, who had just shadow-travelled into the room, "The best they've got. Those ones use swords better than ninjas. We should get going before they can mobilise."
"Rose, could you drive the ECmobile back to the Corrupted Cave for us?"
"Sure thing," Rose said, and turned invisible again.
"Are you sure you can trust her?" asked Cloud, "You already demonstrated how she's a bit moody."
"I'm sure I can. For now we must get going in the truck, or we'll never get out of here."
"Alright then." Cloud shot lightening at the two technicians under the truck, and then returned to his demon body, using its magic to push himself toward the truck faster than he could run. He got in and turned the key. The engine sprang into life, and he assumed position in the middle of the back seats. Fort, Al and Dement hopped in the truck, with Fort driving. The vehicle drove through the wall without a scratch and out into the multiverse.

[Miyanokouji]

...
...
"Uh-augh!" Splash!
...
"BLBLBLBLBL!"
...
"Aahhhh. SPRMFFFFBLBLBLB!"
...
"Dement, seriously. Stop that. It's annoying."
Dement halted, mainly because a gun was pointed at his head, directly towards his main processor. Cloud stood up and spat out as much water as he could, swearing at Dement.

Fort waded (Well, I say waded. It was more of a gentle stroll. The water only came halfway up his shins.) around the Interdimensional Ice Cream Truck.
"What's all this fuss about? Can't you guys be nice?"
Dement quickly replied, "EVIL Council.", for which Cloud kicked him in his buttocks. "Your sharp wit shall get you cut in the end."
Fort, in an amazing turn of an event, was the only semi-sensible one there. "Hey, guys. Did you even actually notice the cave is flooded?"
"Well, duh! I was just drowning Cloud," came the smarmy reply from the obvious location. For which Dement received a hole in his foot, and moaned about it.
"Your leg is metal, Dement. Won't it like, auto-repair?"
"Nope."
"Ah well, good thing pistol-related trauma isn't catching," Al smirked.
Dement growled, then spoke, "Anyway, why aren't you whining like a baby? Your toesies are all wet."
Before Al could elbow Dement in the stomach (One of the few places not biomechanically enhanced (Dement likes his food)), Fort wrenched the pair apart.
"As headmaster and also someone who is just generally better than you, I order you to focus! The cave is flooded." For once, Dement remained quiet. "Good. Let's go do something about it. Al, don't we have emergency pumps or something?"
"Of course not. This cave is A, Old, B, Huge, C, A cave, and D, Possibly inside the stomach of a possibly infinitely big possible cat. Therefore there is no way for pumps to do their job, without an infin-" Fort interrupted.
"Yes, yes, I see your point. Well, what can we do?"
"I dunno. We could've theoretically used a giant plughole to remove all the water like in the sinks, but again, if the cafe is infinitely big, it must be partially filled by an infinitely large amount of water, too, which makes it completely impossible to empty in any case. Speaking of large amounts of water, how did an infinite amount of water get in the cave?"
Dement punched Al on the arm, "You idiot, Al. We're in a dip.", he gestured forwards, "There're ramps in that direction in just a couple of hundred yards. And there are some directly behind us, and not too far away on our left and right."
"....Oops?"

"Well then, what do you suggest now, Al?", Fort asked.
"Best COA would be to rip the sink drainpipes out just above the floor so it can drain out to around toe level. Then get the janitor to mop it up."
"Hey what's a COA?" It was clear Fort hadn't played enough Metal Gear Solid.
"Course of Action."
"...Oh. Iknewthatyesreally."
"...Hang on, wait. Where's HollowEyes? Wasn't he fighting with us in the Lawyer base?"
"Oh yeah...I guess we left him behind."
Dement chuckled to himself.
Al took a look at his mini-map. Rose was headed towards the cave. Talking to her from here would be impossible, so he could only hope that HollowEyes got out with her.
"He'll be fine, I think. Now find sharp objects." This was Al's attempt at organizing the group. "..Please?"
Fort spoke, "Okay you guys, find some sharp stuff!"
Dement protruded a blade-arm attachment from the back of one of his arms, Al unsheathed his katana, Cloud his possibly generic sword. In fact, the only one without a sharp object was Fort, who decided not to have one.


-Roughly 30 minutes later

HollowEyes looked out the window. Rose opened it, unplugged her interface cable and flew out, into the Corrupted Cave, and disappeared out of sight. HollowEyes made use of the car's door. He called out, "Hey? Anyone?", but only heard echoes. He noted the floor was damp, which was rather odd. He thought to himself, 'Man, I could really do with a p-what the hell happened to the sinks?' whilst walking into the bathrooms. He shrugged, 'Guess everything's normal again then.'