Colony in the Northern Regions!

GBE · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 5:41 pm Post subject:

((Oookay - so, yeah, this thread is kind of dying. It's on it's knees dragging itself from a boiling pit of oil, quickly running towards a petrol station ready to go kaboom. Can we save it in time - I'd like to think we can Wink

))

Drone wasps, in great annoyance, throw the vacuum cleaners at Cloud's army, whilst firing poisoned tipped stingers at them.

Drone, meanwhile, is happily devouring her pizza still with her princesses. She has the best colony, considering her hive is now several hundred feet tall and wide, and still growing.

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

Running up the Drones, Speeder screamed "I WANT HONEY! GIMME, GIMME HONEY OR YOU WILL GREATLY REGRET IT!!!!"

Cirrial · Guest

((Too late/not worth me joining?))

thatanos · Banished One Posts: 204

(Go ahead if you want just read up on the characters)

*steps toward massive hive*

Give me honey! Or else I will smoke you out!

GBE · Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 6:33 pm Post subject:

A group of 50 six to eight foot tall humanoid wasps surround Thantanos and Speeder looking extremely annoyed, both with loud noises and their threats.

"Leave if you want to live..." Three swarms of normal wasps swarm out of the hive and hover near Speeder and Thantanos, ready to attack.

One of the more diplomatic humanoid wasps steps forwards, "If you want honey, you must offer a service in return..."

Drone, having finished her pizza stands up looking extremely annoyed herself. She closely monitors all of the events taking place, ready to deploy all swarms should she need to.

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

"Oh, I attempt to kill you, since I cannot be harmed in a sugar rush, due to hyperness, and you give me your honey!" Speeder said, bouncing up and down.

3kul · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:02 am Post subject:

3kul: WOAH! Why are we suddenly in such an awesome city?
MfS: I believe we've suffered from what's called RP lag...
3kul: But why are we in a city that looks exactly like Vegas?
MfW: Looks like the villagers prefer gambling and exotic dancers to crushing other villages...
3kul: Damn you rebellious party people! Well, let's resume the attack.
MfW: I don't know, I'm quite partial to exotic dancers myself...
MfS: I bet I could work out a way to win the jackpot every time...
Douglas: So you like the new village, sir?
3kul: Ugh, Douglas, why are you still here? Aren't you usually mindlessly obedient?
Douglas: Well, yes, but once you froze in time, the villagers asked me what to do, and I made a depressed remark about how it was just like my holiday to Vegas, and then they-
3kul: Yes, yes, we've all heard that tiresome epic far too many times. Well, we're back now, so I'm in control once more. Cyborg villager minions, attack everyone!

*hundreds of drunk villagers stumble out from all over the city*
3kul: I was unaware that cyborgs could ever get drunk...
Douglas: Oh, they've been drinking quite a bit.
MfS: That's quite obvious, I wonder how we'll get them to attack now...
MfW: Exooootic Daaaaaancers...
3kul: Oh, I didn't know that the Minister for War was into male danc-
MfW: AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! MY EYES!!!!
MfS: Yeah, I probably should have mentioned he's an extreme homophobe...
3kul: No, it's ok, we'd never have had a use for knowledge like that.
MfW: MY EYES!!!! *begins shooting eye lasers everywhere*
3kul: Wow, why is he doing that? *dodges an eye laser*
MfS: Oh, it's just this weird and crazy thing - when we were little, we played in a toxic waste dump a lot. Then 10 years later he bought lasers for his eyes. The toxic waste dump doesn't really have much to do with it now that I think about it, I just like to mention that.
3kul: Well, help me tie him down and aim him towards other villages.
Douglas: I didn't think that the dancers were that bad... *gets hit by an eye laser*

*The Minister for War's optical lasers are now being fired at nearby villages*

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

Meanwhile...

"HYPER! HYPER!!! HHHYYYPPPEEERRR!!!!"

He jumps about, and somehow, because of the power of hyperness, he dodged all the lazer beams.

thatanos · Banished One Posts: 204

*Seeing speeder being stupid Thatanos bows and says I offer 20 yen and my services for the next 199 posts*.

Cloud · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:35 am Post subject:

((It's time to get back to randomville. Nice work by the way 3kul))

Cloud: Where are we?
Jeeves: I'm not sure...

*Hoovers begin raining down.*

Cloud: The weatherman never requested a light shower of hoovers! This is an outrage.
Jeeves: Shall I cancel the flight to Australia then sir?
Cloud: We can't go now can we when hoover rain is happening.

*Suddenly the army feels a sting on the back of their necks.*

Cloud: Ow, what was that?
Jeeves: Sorry, just poked you with a very sharp pencil.
Cloud: Well stop it.
Jeeves: Oh sorry, I didn't realise I was doing it constantly.
Cloud: Yes you were, for the last 5 minutes. Ow, stop it this instant.
Jeeves: Yes sir.
Cloud: Ow.
Jeeves: Sorry that was just the last one, for luck.
Cloud: Luck? Is it necessary to bestow luck on me every 2 seconds?
Jeeves: Necessary? Was it necessary that I tried killing you with a cannon earlier? No but I just wanted power.
Cloud: That still doesn't answer my question although what a pleasant story.
Jeeves: You really think so?
Cloud: No. GET BACK TO WORK.

*Cloud was in rage overload. Jeeves was acting wierd and he didn't know why. He faced his army, they were all acting strangely.*

Cloud: What is going on?

*Cloud checks one officer over wondering what could cause such wierd effects. He notices the stinger in each soldier's neck.*

Cloud: Poisoned. This is indeed grave news.

THE QUEST FOR THE ANTIDOTE!

Cloud: What was that big booming voice?

Don't mind me, I'm just informing our readers what is coming next.

Cloud: Should I be able to hear you though?

Not usually. Hang on, let me change frequencies.

Cloud: ...Yes that's better. Now onwards to find an antidote!

Cirrial · Guest

It had been a long hike to the wilderness, and a brief encounter with giant bees. The bees were pretty ordinary bees, but giant nonetheless. We all love bees. They make sweet, sweet honey. *narrator is smacked around the head with roll of toilet paper* Oh, that's right. Spatial anomalies. Like always. And so the watery Cirrial marched along with his meagre party of one large sentient robot ant. *omnious drum beat*

And he DECIDED! To make a colony. In the icy wilderness. Yeah. (THIS NARRATOR SUCKS.) *gunshots*

Cirrial: I MUST MAKE A COLONY, FOR THE VOICES HAVE CONVERSED WITH ME ON THE MOUNTAIN, AND I AM SET FOR GLORY.
Ant: ...Who are you talking to?
Cirrial: AND ALTHOUGH I WAS MET WITH SETBACKS, I WILL PREVAIL!!
Ant: Um. What? ...Nevermind. Where did you want the colony situated?
Cirrial: Oh. Um. That patch of rock. Over there. Devoid of all life and natural resources.
Ant: ...You're joking, right?
Cirrial: If I was joking, I'D SAY I WAS. NOW BUILD! BUILD ROCKS FROM ROCKS!
Ant: This is going to be a fun mission.

And so the lone robot ant, under the almost non-existant supervision of Cirrial, did shape a stately rock fortress from the rocks of the rock. And after several painful weeks of labour, the ant decided to ask his new leader about his plans.

Ant: Sir-
Cirrial: No. Use the title.
Ant: *sigh* Alright. Grand Emperor Cirrial of The Rocky Outcrop, you do realise a colony includes more than one entity, right? If you were planning to populate it with my kind, you should have taken a robot ant queen along with you. Further more-
Cirrial: But you ARE a robot ant queen. The manual said so! *retrieves manual for the Formicida-Class Sapient Mechanoid series*
Ant: No. That's referring to post-Emergence queens. See, there's this process called the Emergence in which worker robot ants become able to manufacture other robot ants, hence becoming a queen.
Cirrial: What does this emerging thing need?
Ant: ...Oh, no. I'm not going to be a queen. Go buy one.
Cirrial: IF THE GRAND EMPEROR CIRRIAL OF THE ROCKY OUTCROP WANTS A ROBOT ANT QUEEN, THE GRAND EMPEROR CIRRIAL OF THE ROCKY OUTCROP GETS A ROBOT ANT QUEEN!

And so after about a month, the Colonial Fortress of the Rocky Outcrop is underway. The new robot ant queen, dubbed "Jet" for its/her shiny black carapace/chassis. The fortress is occupied, but not necessarily swarming, with robot ants, dutifully harvesting rock from the surrounding area and processing it into refined rock. This rock was then used as the materials for the robot ants' self-repairing systems, and the queen's replication systems, essentially becoming their food supply.
Cirrial, in his infinite/lack of wisdom, declared his colony a monarchy, appointing himself king.

Jet: BUT I'M A QUEEN!
Cirrial: Silence, infidel, lest I sentence you to death - for treason! Against the royalty, no less!
Jet: I AM the royalty...
Cirrial: You bore me, knave, thou jesteth, and other such medieval words.

The colony did grow, and culture and religion was formed, with the currency of choice being rocky snowballs. After hyper-inflation, this was discontinued in favour of "rock money", money printed on very thin sheets of rock. This new currency was dubbed the "pound" (as each sheet of rock weighed an imperial pound).

Finally, after completing a giant rock flag, Cirrial sent out a group of four scouts, to scout for other colonies. Armed with nothing more than their metal mandibles, a few 'pounds' (equatable to 200 Yen

), a packed lunch of slate and their untiring physiology, they set out to establish trade routes, enemies, and other such diplomatic stuff.

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

"So, what shall we do? Speeder's gone crazy!"

"PARTY!"

"DANCE!"

"CHOP UP PIGS WITH A POTATO!"

"What?"

"Errr..."

GBE · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject:

((Cirrial - I hope you're not telling my Wasp hive has competition from a Bee Hive? Because that just will not do!))

The humanoid wasps consider Thantanos offer, "Your service for 199 posts? And 20 Yen

? My Queen accepts." Another humanoid wasp lands, with a crate of 12 jars of honey. "Your honey with compliments from the Queen."

Meanwhile...

More humanoid wasps swarm towards the other fifty attacking Cloud's army, one had previously stolen Douglas whilst 3kul was attending to one of his ministers.

Launching Douglas in an outfit covered with stings, he's targetted at Jeeves. The rest continue a rain of stings at Cloud, hoping to impale him with the larger stings.

Meanwhile...

Drone's daughters had finished their pizzas, and two of them, absolutely bored out of their minds, create online profiles in order to search for friendship from other colonies (don't ask how there's electricity, a phone line and broad band - there just is!).

Cloud · Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject:

((Sorry for being annoying Cirrial but I can't really read the red and blue texts that well. AH my eyes my beautiful eyeses! But other than that, very funny Smile

))

EDITNESS:

*So Cloud was on his epic quest...his life changing quest. His...ow Jeeves stop attacking people with pencils!*

Jeeves: Sorry Mr. Narrator.

*The names John and don't you forget it. Well anyway stings and such, including wasps, walk/fly/whatever-they-do towards Cloud. He doesn't know what to do.*

Cloud: Jeeves dig a hole.
Jeeves: Right away sir.

*Jeeves begins digging a massive pit.*

Cloud: No a whole not a hole.
Jeeves: I'm doing it now.
Cloud: A whole. As in a whole lot of milk.
Jeeves: Dig you a whole? That makes no sense.
Cloud: If you hadn't interrupted you may have heard the version that does make sense.
Jeeves: Ok then, I won't interrupt.
Cloud: Jeeves dig a whole lot of tunnels.
Jeeves: So why were you complaining about me digging a large pit considering they are both quite similar.
Cloud: But tunnels are underground with a roof over them.
Jeeves: I have to start somewhere. With this pit dug all that's left to do is go down there and start digging one of the pit walls.
Cloud: I wanted it done my way though!

thatanos · Banished One Posts: 204