The Voice in your Head

[Laur Doyle]

Laur twisted and turned within a bed, the sheets entangled themselves around her body as the once reluctant mutant was assailed with nightmares once more. No matter what she did to prepare herself for a night of rest, after putting her four year old daughter to sleep, did aught to dissuade the images from coming. But now they were different, in a strange, often subtle way they were worse than the ones before. Sometimes she'd be spared the images, thoughts, feelings that flitted through her unconscious mind and sink into dreamless slumber. Those times were few and far between. Tonight was not one of the blessed exemptions.

[Laur Doyle]

Laur opened her bright blue eyes with a start, the violent shock of her body vacating the bed in favour of a far more solid position upon the hard floor removing even the merest hint of sleep from her. Laur inhaled slowly, listening intently for any other sounds except those of the night, wanting to make absolutely certain that her involuntary tumble had not awoken Lianna. She heard nothing amiss, so she concentrated instead upon what should have been a relatively simple task of disentangling herself from her nighttime covers. It proved itself to fail miserably at being simple. She had done far too efficient a job of wrapping herself within the sheets.

Once that ordeal was completed and the uncooperative coverings thrown uncaringly upon the bed they had been on beforehand, Laur stood upright where she had previously lain upon the floor, her mind indecisive. She should probably go back to bed, attempt to regain what little rest there was to be, but the struggle with the bedsheets coupled with the shock of sudden awakening meant that would be futile. She would be unable to rest now. Laur swiftly turned and proceeded to the bathroom, every step taken with care to avoid too much sound.

When the mutant reached the room in twice the time it would normally have taken, she carefully closed the door whilst turning on the light. Laur made her way to the centre of the room, her attention was turned to the mirror and she stared at her reflection within it dully.

Laurs long, dark brown hair hung down her shoulders in tatters, the strands of dark colour were messy after the mistreatment of the night. The light partially obscured her face with her own shadow, but despite this she could still make out the slight tan to her skin. Her bright blue eyes stared back at their owner in a piercing, disconcerting manner before moving down minutely to take in her clothing. It wasn't much, simply a simple white nightgown that refused to flatter her features.

The woman operated the faucet, allowing the coolness of running water to soothe her palms before she leant down and splashed the refreshing droplets upon her face. Laur shook her head to clear it of any stray liquid, her dark hair whipping about around her and accentuating her unkempt look before she once again raised her head. Laurs fingers tightened upon the basin in front of her as she stared at the mirror in horror, disbelief etched upon her features. Laur had had encounters with, had studied the strange and the improbable. But this, this was impossible. What stared at her was indeed of a reflection, but not of her as she was presently. This reflection wore a brown suit, with both it and her dark hair immaculate, the hair tied back for the purposes of practicality.

Laur blinked as she hesitantly stood up straight, never removing her eyes from the mockery of a reflection that copied her movements. She could not feel anything that shouldn't be close, so it could not be another. What the hell was going on?

"This is not possible"

The mutant quietly breathed after recovering from her fright. The 'reflection' did not copy the movements of her jaw.

"You really should cease denying yourself"

The mirror image replied, even the voice that apparently issued through the glass a perfect copy of her own.

[Laur Doyle]

Laur stared at the reflection intently with a frown upon her lips, replaying what... whatever it was within the glass had said through her mind. The figure in the mirror did not mirror her expression, though it looked back with equal intensity. Bright blue eyes stared into bright blue eyes, one seeing exceptionally clearer than the other.

"I am not"

The dishevelled, tired woman eventually answered the appariton with an edge within her voice, that particular type of edge that warned others the conversation should be over or she would brutally finish it.

"You can't fool me. I know. I know every little thing you have ever done"

"Are you threatening me?"

Laur asked of the reflection immediately, her bright blue eyes narrowed even whilst she wrestled with her consciousness. 'This is insane! I'm talking to a mirror'

If it had not previously only been the words and images that differed between the pair, Laur would have sworn she saw the thing smile at her accusation.

"There is only one within this room qualified to be the best judge in that respect. But that is not why I am here"

"Then what are you here for, exactly?"

Laur snapped angrily, rapidly losing her sleep deprived and therefore shorter than was usual temper.

"I believe I already informed you of that"

Laurs blue eyes held the gaze of the apparitons steadily, for long seconds, nothing seemed to dare move. The place was wrapped in a blanket of unsteady silence before the once reluctant mutant broke through it, shattering the tensions it held close.

"This is insanity. I am not going to hold a conversation with a past version of myself"

Laur turned on her heel and swiftly left the room and offending mirror, heading for the relative comfort of the bed. At least the nightmares she had were familiar, that was... unprecedented. Laur sat down upon the soft sheets, cradling her head in one shaking hand.

"You can't get away from me that easily"

[Laur Doyle]

Laurs bright blue eyes opened wide in sudden shock as she removed her palm from her head, she stared around the room which she currently occupied, searching for something within it. But there was nothing to see, nothing to sense. There was only one individual within this room, she was all by herself.

"Leave me alone"

Laur quietly asked of the voice that belonged to her, yet paradoxically did not.

"That won't work either"

The voice answered just as quietly, with the patience of one who had to explain to an upset child just what it was they had done. Laur found it quite patronising, it was the same voice she used on Lianna for that very reason.

"Go away. I'm tired and I want to go back to sleep"

"Liar"

This time Laur did not retort, though she clearly recognised the bait, thus biting lightly upon her lip to ensure she didn't slip up. Her hands absently began to fiddle with the covers, twisting them into ever more bizarre, fantastic shapes. Maybe it would go away if she didn't acknowledge it was there.

"So, it's the silent treatment now?"

Laur refused to say a word, her eyes were unfocused, their blurred vision centred upon a particular spot on the wall opposite her. She dared not look at a window or any other reflective surface. 'There's nothing there there's nothing there there's nothing there...' Even so, Laur still picked up on an exasperated sigh.

"Fine. You'll just make this harder on yourself"

Laur still refused to say anything, the only movement was the tense twisting of the bedsheets between her fingers, though her expression had grown grim as she recognised those words as having issued from her lips many times in a part of her past she had grown ashamed of.

"Must you make me recite every little thing you have denied? I know how it pains you"

Nothing. The voice sounded as though it was taking a deep, calming breath. The mutant sat upon the bed dreaded what she would be hearing next.

[Laur Doyle]

"When you first went to work for the SGR you shot a mutant. You enjoyed it. It felt like revenge, it was sweet. But then, you had wanted to do something like that for years., ever since you were a little girl. Although that sisn't satisfy your appetite-"

Laurs hands began to twist the sheets with marginally stronger force.

"-so once you learned of the killing chambers you'd go there whenever you could to watch more. The more painful, the slower, the more torment they were in the better for you"

Laurs eyes regained their focus, her hands began to pull the strange shapes they had created apart. 'Stop it'

"But you never got to see the one you wanted, did you? No, you were on a mission of self hatred then, abusing your abilities to capture others like you."

"Stop it"

Laur whispered the words, the strain of the sheets between her fingers clear to see.

"Then there was that creature, poor thing, that got lost. He trusted you, so you used him. You even felt proud of yourself"

"Stop it"

"You were a selfish, sadistic murderer and you enjoyed every minute of it because you hated yourself. Working for the Corporation only made that worse"

"Stop it"

Laur repeated, raising her voice higher than the previous time as the sheets began to give way, tearing apart under her ministrations.

"You fell in love with the man who lied, decieved and abused you just as much as you did to others, to yourself. The man you have hated for years, I know you felt some sort of sick pleasure when you finally managed to get his defences down"

"Stop it"

"Then there's Leon-"

"STOP IT! LEAVE LEON OUT OF THIS!"

Laur shrieked, her voice loud enough to be carried outside, disturbing a small flock of birds that had been settled down for the night, causing them to flutter off in alarm. The woman suddenly found herself in the midst of a deathly, dense silence that had the feeling of being worse than the incessant voice.

The 34 year old felt small and alone in the stifling quiet that quickly consumed the air around her.