Crazy Golf has nothing on this.

[Cirrial]

There are forces more powerful, more ancient, more overwhelming than any being could ever dream of.
Forces so ancient the gods are as babes, forces so powerful that universes are as dry reeds in the hands of the frustrated.

Forces that, inexplicably, have a great passion for golf.

But of course, no such game is possible, even to eldritch forces such as these, without land upon which to play it.

And being inscrutible forces, theirs is not the golf we know of. Theirs is a strange golf, in which the aim is not to simply shove a small dimpled ball into a cylindrical hole in the ground, but to prevent beings far less powerful than them from doing so.

And it is written that once every significant multiuniversal epoch, the "High Golf" is played across thousands of worlds, simultaneously.

Blackstar is, of course, one such world.

It was a dramatic change. The sun rose across the skies, accompanied by a gentle shower of confetti, and the courses came into being. Along with spectators and film crews, thousands of them, of all species and locations. The population of Blackstar suddenly tripled overnight, filled with alien visitors unsure why they were here, where they even were, but eager to clap politely at the skilled swings by those chosen few, the Contestants.

And, sure enough, several faces familiar to Blackstar found themselves on a golf course, wielding a gold leaf golf bag, filled with runed clubs, glowing ominously in the dawn light.

A booming voice rolls into the minds of all those able to comprehend it.

"BEGIN."

---

So, here's the setup. A character, or maybe two, of your choice has been entered into the Golf To End All Golf, and is in a duplicate course to everyone else. You can watch what other people are doing but you can't interfere, and they can't do it either.

So, what do you do? Simple. Play to win! Or to stay alive, depending on your priorities. It is possible to come to a rather nasty end in the High Golf, after all, although usually the High Players decide to intervene.
This intervention disqualifies a Contestant, but they still get to live. Which, all things considered, isn't that bad a trade-off.

As far as mechanics are concerned, you can only complete one hole per turn, and occassionally the High Players might throw a few additional obstacles into people's ways. Especially the ones in the lead.

Good luck. You'll need it. After someone has cleared one hole, the next hole will be revealed for everyone.

---

COURSE ONE: EVERGREEN GLADES

The Evergreen Glades are a familiar place to the natives and frequent visitors of Blackstar, with their lush green fields and wide open spaces. A calming, idyllic backdrop to a stressful, irritating and hazardous sport. The crowds of eager observers all stare expectantly at the Contestants...

Hole 1: Deceptively Easy
Par: Four strokes
- The ball is at the start of the hole. This may seem obvious, given the nature of the sport. Ohh, how wrong you'll be.
- The hole is at the far end of a swirly curvy fairway path. Rough is all around the edges, and... yeah, this is your typical golf course.
- Oh, but there are a few random rabid wolverines scattered about. Just stay still.

[Kazumaru]

((This should be interesting.))

A man in boxers, a lab coat, a tattered shirt and a smile appeared in the teeing-off area, beside a man dressed like a Grim Reaper.

"Five more minutes, mum, I won't be late..." the man in the lab coat muttered. "Whoa hey what."

"... Where am I?" the reaper asked.

"The Evergreen Glades!" somebody shouted. "THIS IS A GOLF GAME."

"Ah..." the reaper said. "That's a convenient explanation."

The reaper's scythe poofed into existence beside him, and he held it upside down, attepting to use it like a golf club. Unfortunately, the scythe passed through the ball repeatedly.

"Oh." the lab coated man said, finally awake. "Hi, Greg."

"... Why can't I hit this?" Greg asked, a sad tone in his voice.

The background voice from before spoke up. "YOU'RE A HOLOGRAM, MORON."

"... oh."

Kazumaru, his lab coat billowing in the non-wind, pulled a golf club from a convenient golf bag. Interestingly, his club looked incredibly warped, to the point where the shaft resembled a stylised lightning bolt.

Kazumaru swung, sending his ball flying across the course... only to hit a wolverine and bounce back, stopping just a few feet away from the tee-off area.

[huynh_192265]

The togepi goes to the course, for a fun round of golf. He winds up with his wood 1 driver, and follow through with a hard swing. As it flies in the air it hits a bird, then hits a spectator on the head. Henry =) turns and runs as the rabid wolverines chase after him. But where the ball landed is still unclear.

[Abidusray]

The quiet air was thick with a gentle mist, causing objects to fade into one another the farther away they were. A bird prodded the moist earth with its beak, probing for worms to feed its brood. Beyond it, a wolverine crouched, its fur matted and stringy with sticky, slimy spittle. It stepped forwards, carefully moving towards the bird.

Then, without warning, it lunged at the bird, foam-flecked mouth stretched wide open, revealing a parabola of teeth. The bird was unaware of its impending doom, still searching for food in the dew-covered sod.

A barely audible pop preceded a disheveled man emerging headlong from the air, tumbling on top of the wolverine. From the hole floated the sounds of polka music and men singing in loud, drunken voices. Golden light spilled over the ground, briefly illuminating the trio before it closed on itself.

Abidusray stood, brushing his suit off with one hand while separating his buttocks from the remaining portion of wolverine. This included several teeth, which he extracted with little more than a pained screech for every tooth.

Eight screams later, Abidusray had become a disgruntled golf player. Next to him, a hole opened up, ejecting a plate covered in what can only be described as lutefisk byproduct. The light highlighted the slimy grey color as it spread across Abidusray's bewildered face, then disappeared with the polka music as the hole shut itself again.