Twas The Night Before Xmas 2

[addman]

((This went down quite well last year, thought I'd start it up again in the run up to Christmas.

There are some slight rules to adhere to. Firstly, you must start each post with the words "Twas the night before xmas...". Secondly, it must rhyme. Aside from that, feel free to RP to your heart's content.))

Twas the night before Xmas, and all through the dojo,
Nothing was stirring, not even Net's mojo,
Except a muppet with murderous malice in mind,
Thinking unpleasant thoughts which were not all that kind,

Addman was plotting a most hideous scheme,
To crush festive spirits and small children's dreams,
This plan of his was for the most evillest cause,
To steal, catch or kill the podgy Mr Claus,

So up went the puppet, to Blackstar's highest peak,
Bringing two EC grunts, to whom he never did speak,
(Despite their sterling demeanour and banter engaging,
Addman's rank was higher, and his ego was raging),

And setting up camp, they waited for that sleigh,
With anti-sleigh cannons and baked cookies on tray,
For when the bells ring and the reindeer fly,
The presents would be his and Santa will die,

[Cirrial]

Twas the night before Xmas, and beneath Kaz's home
Buzzed the machines, bubbling, frothing with foam
For snow was a wonder, a delight if you may
But imports weren't cheap, as 501 would say.

"Well, it's an icon, a tradition indeed
Frozen water crystals are just what we need
But on ground level above I cannot rely
On the offchance that water just falls from the sky!"

So the snow was constructed, created down here
By baffling devices with the odd loose gear
Churning and grinding and squeaking away
All to make snow for this fine holiday.

"Well, true, this Xmas is a strange thing to see
And it's not a good business plan, giving for free
But I understand the sentiment, charity and that
By the way, can I interest you in this fine hat?"

And so Station Zero, glistening with white
Manufactured snow throughout the whole night
Saa-kru technicians couldn't see why
Until they saw sprinkles of snow in the sky.

501 stood and pointed and shouted with glee
"See! I told you! They get it for free!
Now all we have to do is stop that hitch
And we'll make ourselves so filthy rich!"

[Kazumaru]

'twas the night before Xmas, and all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring, not even Project K-Fab.
Kazumaru leaned back in his chair,
Enjoying the chill in the air.

"Silly Spirit." came Sentinel's voice.
"Now is not the time to rejoice!"
The spirit raised an eyebrow.
"But I'm not. Ooh, a woodel dowel."

The machine paused, unable to respond.
The spirit grinned. "Now shut up, or I'll have you pawned."
"But there are no pawn shops here..." came the protest.
"... Then shut up, or I'll ship you to Budapest."

"Your threats suck!"
"I'll throw you into some sort of muck!"
"Muck? Is that all you can come up with?"
"... You're... the... fifth?"

Sentinel sighed; this was useless.
All of his efforts to get a rise were fruitless.
"Even you're not normally this dull, Spirit.
If something's troubling you, I'd like to hear it."

"You would? Really?"
"No, not really... I need a wheeled drone, so I can do a wheelie."
"That's... random."
"And you don't have a fandom."

With that, Kazumaru gave up and headed off to bed.
For Saint Nick would know if he wasn't resting his head.

[addman]

Twas the night before Xmas, of the missile launch,
With guidance systems on love handles, the flabby saint's paunch,
For the moment that Santa had took to the skies,
Addman screamed "Fire" amid other war cries,

The rockets, they circled, they looped and they twizzled,
And raced like street drag cars, for they were fo shizzled,
Pimp missiles painted purple and green for effect,
With Flava Flav clocks strapped round their makeshift necks,

Nick didn't stand a chance against Hip Hop onslaughts,
He wasn't prepared for rap battle retorts,
And into his carriage they ploughed and went off,
Like David's drunk bladder when you hassle the Hoff,

Bits of wood and reindeer rained down to the ground,
After the smoke and the thunderous sound,
"Quick! To the crash site, and bag me those gifts,
Bring them back two by two, then a third, and a fifth!"

So down the hill trundled two weary young grunts,
They were Barry and Dave, and were both rolling blunts,
Although the EC prevented usage of drugs,
They gave regulation the finger, and brushed it off with shrugs,

Through the forest they wandered, unsure of their route,
Due to their smoking they were not that astute,
Then Dave stepped on charred reindeer, underfoot crunchy,
And both Barry and Dave then succumbed to the munchies,

[Cirrial]

Twas the night before Xmas, and the skies far above
Glistened with ice, falling snow, white as a dove
501 peered upwards and grumbled a groan
"It wasn't this cold back in my metal home!"

And business was business, and when all was said
Maratix would profit from sane things instead.
But now what to do with this excess of snow?
501 paused and thought. "Wait, I know!"

"Snow rolled up makes projectiles nice
Flying through the air, a bombardment of ice!
After all, weapons are so hard to get right
Maybe some snowballs would win us a fight!"

The saa-kru crew paused, somewhat unclear
If their superior's quite inexplicable idea
Was a joke or a gag or an item of mirth
But for activity, they had quite a dearth.

So they rolled up the snow into balls quite compact
Spheres of ice crystals with a vicious impact
And all in all, a great time was had
As snow fights broke out, the next biggest fad.

But all this festivity was halted abrupt
By the explosion caused by one most corrupt
Addman's plan had gone seemingly well
But will 501 notice? Only time will tell...

[Chronos]

(Sorry, it's long. I think it's worth it though.)

'Twas the night before Xmas,
Somewhere in the Cave,
Ensichrys told
His pet snake to behave.

The Guivre was angry,
'Twas a holiday's eve!
His first Xmas, in fact,
'Twas hard to believe.

The bird and the snake
and the monstrous flower
had never experienced
the Xmas cheer power.

Rubbed the wrong way,
And very uptight,
the serpent said:
"Hell, I'm enjoying the night."

Indeed it was strange
for the Guivre to speak
in a language not Latin,
Xmas sure was unique.

The snake glided out
of the cave with intent.
He'd found some spare money
begging to be spent.

He hit every store,
He hit every market,
But finally somebody
Told him to park it.

Who could this be?
Thought the Guivre with wonder
When Mortracta burst to
The surface from under.

The Guivre was shocked
By who's order was this?
He looked to the side and saw
Hollow Eyes was PISSED.

"Shame on you, Guivre,"
He said with a bark,
"You know better than to
Slither around in the dark."

"Why, someone who didn't
Know who you were,
Could quite possibly make a
Fine coat from your fur!"

"Nay," said the Guivre to
the great S.I.C.
"My skin is covered in scales,
As you see."

Hollow Eyes was convinced
But not satisfied.
"Tell me," he said,
"Why our fruitcake has died."

"And while you are at it,"
He said very slow,
"Whose biscuit was that
on which Cloud stubbed his toe?"

"We have no more apples,
Fort's office is trashed,
The Cave is a mess,
And my door has been smashed!"

"Our milk has gone bad,
The wall slime won't grow,
Addman is being
Harassed by a crow,"

"Your muffins are burning,
The monkeys smell sweet,
Mushrooms are growing
On Furnace's feet,"

"To top it all off,
If that wasn't enough,
Your doing was marked
By a scale patterned scuff!"

The Guivre looked down
At the soil in shame.
"I'm sorry," he said,
"It's I who's to blame."

The Guivre crawled back
To the Cave in defeat
And tried to clean up
His mess- what a feat!

He bandaged Cloud's toe,
More apples were bought,
Fort's office was scourged,
The Cave cleaned of rot,

Hollow Eyes saw repairs
To his door being made,
The milk was replaced,
The wall slime was sprayed,

Addman was rescued,
The Muffins thrown out,
Furnace's mushrooms were
Picked with a shout,

The scuff marks were cleared,
The snake's debts were paid,
And to top it all off,
A new fruitcake was made!

The flower, the bird,
And the serpent retired,
Two were asleep,
But one soul conspired.

The Guivre thought of
The great day of cheer,
"Merry Xmas, you suckers,
Round two is next year!"

[addman]

((As fantastic as that was Chronos, I was intending for our posts to follow on from one another as an RP. It was decent though. Also enjoying Cirrial's posts as well, let's try and keep this up))

Twas the night before Xmas, and in Blackstar's wood,
Barry and Dave trudged on through the mud,
In search of wrapped presents, and gifts so divine;
The rewards were most high for this most heinous crime,

But due to narcotics, the pair were struck still,
By a noise which to them sounded low and yet shrill,
The grunting of Blitzen came as a surprise,
To two addled druggies, pupils conquered their eyes,

Without warning the deer sprang forth from the glade,
With vengance in mind, head down, unafraid,
Blitzen boldly bolted at Dave,
And smashed into his ribs, causing lungs to concave,

With a gasp of regret, Dave fell to the floor,
Sucking in his last breath, he gasped for some more,
And with his last words, he said to his friend,
"I hate you, you gimp, you look like a bell end."

Barry was distraught, down his cheek slid a tear,
He gazed with pure hatred at the offending reindeer,
Reaching to his back, he produced a rifle,
But died in an instant, caught upon by Slugfoot's trifle,

Meanwhile Addman was waiting impatiently for,
The grunts to return, goods and presents galore,
And at the moment that he was beginning to doze,
From the parting a trees, a large, dark figure rose,

Santa had survived, he felt alive and well,
But wanted to send Addman directly to hell,
He closed in riding Blitzen, gave a cry that could chill,
Add leaped on his bike and got halfway downhill,

[Chronos]

[Insert lengthy apology and explanation of self-stupidity here]

Continue, I'm all rhymed out. *pants*

[Kazumaru]

((Oh. I just posted something random. I'm not good at poems, so I probably won't post again ))

[Maraha]

'Twas the night before Xmas, and Maraha felt fair,
she decided not to let loose her great big bear.
Her nornlings smiled and cheered in delight,
for that bear really was quite a fright.

"You've been so kind, this night," Said the nornlings, aloud.
"Xmas blessings seem to follow you like a cloud."
"Bah!" She did grumble,
and down the stairs the norns did tumble.

"I don't celebrate xmas!" She said, and the nornlings despaired.
"But no other day to xmas could be compaired!"
"Oh well," said Maraha, not caring anymore.
And out she went, right out the front door.

'I need some time alone to think, tonight.'
When up in the sky, she did see a light.
"I say! What could that possibly be?
The end of xmas, and my nornlings glee?"

Those must have been missiles, they had to have been.
For without such things, no evildoer could win.
"But who could they be trying to kill?"
The amount of her ideas were equal to nil.

Untill she thought, 'Who could be up there?'
Why it'd have to be Saint Nicholas, the chubby, the fair!
"Who'd want that fellow to die?
Maybe he knew the true meaning of pi?"

"Ha ha!" She laughed, with little sympathy.
For soon 'twould all be quiet, she was sick of xmas glee.
"Father Xmas was surely more than he could be.
Fat, bothersome, and incredibly chubby."

(Whew! That was fun! Hope this is... suitable, for the time being.)

[KC11]

Twas the night before christmas, and in KC's cave
CM* started walking, like an obident knave
Demetris* sat in her soft walled room
Trying to make her teddy bear go boom

KC sat there by the flickering fire
Attempting to make the flames go higher
And Jesten* sat in his room, playing with
A rubix cube-he had finished his fifth

And as KC blew her firey breath
In the fireplace, without any thought of reth (rest)
The flames leapt up and ignited the tinsel
And then they moved to Demetris's pie of lentil

"ON GAI! ON GENK!
ON RUBIS! OH HENK!"
And more random things said KC that night
As the fire began quite a fright

The CM, who had just found a sweet smelling rose
To give to Demetris, though she always told him to goes
Smelled smoke, though he was lacking a nose
And he ran from the fire like a cat from a hose
(yay all ryming!)

And Demetris, as she stuffed explosives
In her teddy bear's head, all explosive corrosives
Thought her entrail pie was burning
Which was the only thing which she found concerning

And Jesten, as he lay with rubix on hand
Was now of in a place called Dreamland
And as the smoke wafted through his nostrils
He thought it was mearly the smell of Demetris's pet postril (don't ask)

*The CM is The Candy Machine, a candy machine that was given life. He is under the impression that Demetris and he are madly in love. Demetris is a black draconian norn who is immortal, insane, and often doesn't understand that other people aren't immortal (IE, she kills people to put in her pies). Jesten is a nerdy bengel norn who is often pestered by Demetris.