So, what exactly IS this "Power Apathy Party"?

[Cirrial]

This has been copied and pasted from the Power Apathy Party official FAQ-Type Document, already posted on the wall inside the Party's base of operations, the Somewhat Bland Tower That Floats.
This FAQ-Type Document has been classified, clarified, queried, buried in soft peat for three months and is generally avaliable to and for the general Dojodian public.

Read on and be educated, Citizen! If you like. I mean, we're not forcing you or anything. But you can't leave. Until you read the whole thing. We have knives.

---

Friends, comrades, potential members, I welcome you all to our most hallowed sanctuary, the Somewhat Bland Tower That Floats!

Notice how I didn't include enemies in my greeting. This is because officially, the Power Apathy Party has no enemies! Although seriously, you with the gun, get out. No, put the gun down. SECURITY!

...Anyway, you may have several questions to ask us. We are a somewhat small and naive group, but we have one unified purpose. And that one unified purpose is different to all those other groups inhabiting the Dojo! Whereas they all seek to control the balance of power or control the world entirely, we, the Power Apathy Party, have a much different purpose.

The complete and total lack of interest in whoever or whatever has power or not! As our slogan says, "We Don't Care Who Wins, As Long As We Don't Lose"!

Forces of evil storm the lands? Fine by us, just don't go for our faces. The world's about to explode unless you collect seven or nine talismans of hope and purity and fight an increasingly powerful multitude of enemies? We won't be getting in your way. We won't exactly go out of our way to help you, either, but it's all good.

Don't particularly care much for the Power Apathy Party? Then congratulations! You just earned yourself a guaranteed place!* And while we're not much to look at just yet, our projected membership join rate is through the roof! Granted, we drew the chart in a room with a low ceiling, but that's just a minor detail.

But enough about that. Let's get on with the questions proper!

*Guaranteed place will be turned down to those with an age that's a multiple of 5, 7, or 1, and/or with more than zero heads and/or organs. Protoplasmic goo from beyond time itself are also exempt from a guaranteed place, as well as deities both major and minor. In fact, just apply the conventional way and save us the bother.

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Q: Who are you and why is your hat in the punchbowl?

A: I don't have a hat.


Q: I'm too lazy to read the introduction. What is this farcical charade again?

A: This is the Power Apathy Party, for when you just stop caring about endless power struggles. Or, conversely, you can't stop caring and want to flee to another group to get a whole new perspective.
When it comes to attacks, we are always the defenders defending ourselves, for one cause only: self-preservation.
Granted, it's been proven time and time again that sometimes self-preservation can mean the pre-emptive destruction of one's enemies, but we're positively sure that won't happen until after we install more weapons.


Q: Despite all logic telling me otherwise, I want to join. How can I make this so?

A: Well, asking is the first step up the stairs along the path across the road to joining. Seriously, though. Just PM the Grand Dictator For Sometime, Cirrial. ...Oh, damn, that's me! Uhh... please file all applications to the EC. And make sure to use as much paper as you can. I hear they love paper any time of year.


Q: Joining's not enough. I want the power, fame, and sex appeal that comes with taking a position greater than your average peon! GIVE ME PROMOTIONS!

A: ...Holy crap, we can actually GET those things? Uh, I mean, if you're wanting a promotion, you must fulfil certain requirements. And for your convenience and the convenience of those around you (mostly the latter), these requirements are undergoing heavy review and will be made publicly avaliable at some point in the future.

Ahaha, we kid. You're never getting the requirements just HANDED to you like that! If we decree you as worthy for promotion, we'll give you your requirements for advancement into your suitable role. And trust us, you'll wish you were back on bird-scraping duties within minutes.


Q: You've mentioned defenses. What defenses do the Power Apathy Party have? I'm totally not scouting for other groups.

A: You sure aren't. Nice clipboard, by the way, and those night vision goggles match your eyes. Really. It's kind of freaky.

Our defenses work on a barrier-by-barrier basis. Until a barrier is breached, further progress towards the tower is made impossible by the emanating waves of pure apathy from the Indifference Engine that keeps the Tower floating. And don't try to fly up to any windows, if you want to stay in the sky. The force of apathy the Indifference Engine is capable of has been known to cause even inanimate objects to disregard basic laws of projectile physics.

Unfortunately, as it's hard to motivate the troops at the best of times, once a barrier is breached, it's going to be breached for a long time ((read: the rest of a thread)) till we can repair it. Members of the Power Apathy Party can move through barriers as if they aren't there.


Q: What about the weapons and the army of the Power Apathy Party?

A: The army that doesn't consist of heroes (read: player characters) consists of the inanimate Apathetic Stone Statues, Apathy Elementals who can make all but the most determined warrior feel pangs of boredom, and people who didn't care either way but are very passionate about not being sliced into tiny pieces.

Our weaponry, if you suddenly forgot to bring your own, is mostly typical weaponry imbued with the spirit of apathy. With a suitably effective hit, these apathetic weapons are more likely to make both you and your enemy care less about fighting and more likely to suddenly remember how little you care about the cause you're fighting for. That's right, it affects you too. That'll teach you to forget your weapons and mooch off us, you leeches! We're not apathetic about being drained of our precious, precious yen.


Q: I don't care much for this Hour Pity Party.

A: I don't care much for it either. But this is the Power Apathy Party, where an uncaring attitude is your strongest weapon! We probably didn't mention it but on the Somewhat Bland Tower That Floats, as long as you don't care, you're invincible.
The downside is that trying to act upon this invinciblity requires some interest in your situation, making this useless. However, the realisation of that fact should help you somewhat. Confused? You will be.


Q: Can I go now? I just don't care about this FAQ anymore.

A: Yeah, half an hour on this tower will do that to you. I can't be bothered to carry on this FAQ, and Party members are supposed to be immune. Supposedly. We did commission some pathos-instilling artefacts, but I guess no-one could be bothered to answer the door to collect them.

So, if you want to join, which, after sitting through this FAQ, I severely doubt, don't hesitate to PM Cirrial or another member of the Power Apathy Party. And remember, as our other slogan says, "Wait, What? I Wasn't Really Listening", so goodbye and get the hell off my tower, you freeloaders!

[Cloud]

Well that was certainly an interesting lecture made more so by the apathetic main speaker. Was that a dig at you? No, that was an attempt at a compliment since you care a great deal about your apathy, which actually makes quite a paradox in itself.

Great, now I've broken my brain thinking about that paradox for too long. *explodes, reforms then explodes again* Um, could you pass me my arm on my way out?

[Somefreakoverthere]

No. I'm too lazy. :p

*falls asleep as her brain kinda broke again*

[Danikat]

Isn't going to all the effort of forming a group, creating a section on the forum and posting an FAQ just to announce that you can't be bothered to do anything coonstructive (or destructive) kind of an oxymoron?

[Abidusray]

[3kul]

[Intyalle]

Lol I had to PM Cirrial on the behalf of my character (or more, AP. I could never explain a character that fit this party so perfectly...). She fitys so well, she would never be bothered to apply herself.

[Treesprite]

Seems you spent a lot of time in prep for such a pathetic start...


Oops! Did I accididentally put a space in there?

[Abidusray]