An invite to join the other flock. (85% more monkey!)

Fort

Hi Eve-ri-body!
Come to the Monkey Gods my fellows, my brethren. It is I, Decon Fort! I have come here to spread enlightentment about the three Monkey Gods.
I with the fellow Decons wish to spread enlightentment among you all about Cupcake, CipCake, and Copcake, Born from the Egg of Bob and bob.
We only wish to show you all the right path. The Monkey path.
Find your inner Guardian Llama, and take the first step to FRREEEEDOOM!

Can I get an Ahmen my brothers?!

Goron40 · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 9:48 am Post subject:

*Drops a gorilla on Fort*

These rival flocks are rediculus!

addman · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 11:43 am Post subject:

"Yay, and let the land be ripe for the bearing of yellow fruit" Spoketh the unholy one, his stomach hungry and empty. And thus it was, soil of fertility sprang forth, creating the Garden Of Omen.

Upon this land, a monkey, created in the image of Cupcake, was free to roam, eating fruit and slinging faeces wherever he chose. Cupcake thought he'd want for nothing in this garden, and christened him Chibi. Chibi danced day and night, but lo, was not appeased. He grew lonely.

Upon the fifth day, he prayed for a mate, and that he acquired. For Cupcake took pity upon his prized simian, and bore him a mate from his toenail clippings, and she was hairy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN" Exclaimed Chibi.

Raven · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 11:57 am Post subject:

We should worship and pray to the might cupcake. *Raven puts a nun hat on* I now proclaim myself to be a Monkun! Now to go commit adultry, start fires, and eat children! *She walked of praying to cupcake*

Cloud · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:02 pm Post subject:

Praise be to Cupcake, without him there would be nothing.

Repent those sins to Cupcake and get a free mate formed from your very own toenail clippings. The only problem is this newly formed mate is scared of scissors and other toenail cutting devices.

"Behold the Almighty. He is strong and wise, he will listen to each ones advice but only he can make up his mind." -- Book of Chibi

Leporidae · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 12:12 pm Post subject:

*sits nearby* Hmmm, should I? Or should I not? It's soooo tempting!

Fort · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 1:55 pm Post subject:

Please daughter of Chibi, join the those of the Holy Banna.

Bask in the glory of the great god, Cupcake, and ye shall be well.

Release the Llama within.

HisLordship · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:29 pm Post subject:

Use thy inner Zippo to light thy path! may it be littered with boron!

Miyanokouji · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:30 pm Post subject:

Boron and Methane from the glorious anus of Cupcake, may it light your way, and it's rich smell empower your brain. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!

Leporidae · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject:

I seen the light! *gets out a block of Banna* Man, this is heavy! *starts to carve a shrine for Cupcake from it, using a chizel and stuff*

Shaon · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 3:48 pm Post subject:

There is a hidden story to the bible of the monkeys.

Cupcake had more than two siblings.

One was neglected due to her unsimian shape, her silvery fur and long, canine snout.

This young god hid in the shadows, learning how to blend in with her monkey brethren.

She excelled at her abilities, able to conjur even the most complicated of illusions. But in her training, she discovered another realm, a beautiful land where even the most strange beings lived in harmony. She retreated to this realm.

Her battlemonkey brethren forgot completely about her, only sparing a mention or so to their deciples.

Who was this hideous mutant, you ask?

Who else but I, Paranesia.

Danikat · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 8:47 pm Post subject:

Ookkkkk then....

*Edges slowly away from all Dojo-related religious...stuff....*

addman · Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 3:40 am Post subject:

Extract from "The Book Of Crapola", 12:01, Paragraph 4098729, Line 2

"Yay" proclaimed the holy chimp "I have written you these commandments so that you may live your life in honour of me". Noses scaled the mountain to reclaim the tablets on which the commandments were written upon. Using his extra Noses, Noses sniffed out the artifacts, and was humbled in their presence. So much so, that all four Noses began to trickle with devine mucus.

Commandment 1) Thou shalt not peel, even in extreme temperatures. Wear thy holy ointment with pride, for it is factor 30, and can cease the infernal flames of the treacherous sun.

2) Thou shalt not covert those who live without sin.

3) Tuesday shall by thy holy day of Llamas, not Monday, not Wednesday, not even Saturday nor Sunday, for Thursday is the day of Llama, and never Tuesday.

4) Thou shalt not eat Pot Noodles, for they are never food, and as such, should be cast aside for curry.

5) Stay away from Mime Artists.

6) Only the banna is the food you shall eat during Vent, the religious holiday invented to humble you all!

7) No shirt, no shoes, no entry. No ID? No drink!

Cool

Thou shalt murder thy father and mother, for they art old and do not deserve to inherit the earth.

9) Thou who art reading this holy scripture, shall add the final commandment as I must retire to my cloud to watch Scrubs.

10)Noses woz ere 21/3/0000, coz I roolz!

And thus, the almighty Cupcake's deeds were done. People only ate Bannas, and cast out all of their curry, only to rebuy more and eat it in favour of Pot Noodles. The holy day was then renamed "Flarg", and placed on a Monday, and people killed their fathers. All was normal.

AAAAAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!

Goron40 · Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 3:45 am Post subject:

*Smacks forehead*

Well I guess I can't stop progress... if you can call this that...

Cloud · Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 3:51 am Post subject:

Extract from "The Book Of Crapola", 28:01, Paragraph 4098729, Line 2

"Nay, the village didn't like the 10th commandment at all. So it was rewritten to read:

10) Everyone shall eat Banna curries every Muesday.

But lo, Muesday was cast out at the end of the third war and was renamed to be two separate days; Monday and Tuesday. This was a problem for the village so they decided to eat Bannas on the Monday and a curry of their choice on a Tuesday."

Extract from "The Book Of Crapola", 28:01, Paragraph 4098729, Line 32

"He who casts the first Pot Noodle shall be praised, he who finds an edible Pot Noodle shall be paid a thousand riches. He who eats a Pot Noodle curry shall be asked to intone the monkey rights and cast out of the fan club for at least 2 years."

[Later amended to a week as a Pot Noodle curry is both good and bad. Good due to the curry and bad due to the Pot Noodle. These then cancel each other out hence it not being a sin at all but a neutral food]