A Cold Heart

KC11 · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 567

It is cold. Very cold. Ice covers the walls. Well, ice doesn't cover the walls. Ice is the wall.

Three explores travel through an ice cave in the middle of antartica. They are trying to find the fabled item... the one that would save them all....

They are traveling across a thin ice bridge which is not suspended. They travel carefully, not wanting to break the bridge.

They see the item of their quest right in the middle of the bridge. They reach out for it....

"I don't think so...."

These words boom out around the cavern, and the bridge starts to shake. The explores yell and wobble, and then the bridge breaks. The travelers plunge into the cold river of ice below. The ice breaks as the ice bridge reaches it, and the water begins to flow.

But this is not normal water.

The water is green. Compleatly green. And when the travelers touch it, it is ice cold. The stuff is stickyer than tar, and soon the travelers are below the surface.

And then it freezes up again.

What were the travelers looking for? What was going on here? What was the voice? All that can be found in the coldest place on earth.

The Heart of Antartica.

(This is an RP about an adventure in Antartica. Everyone starts in the Dojo. I know that this is a frozen RP in the wild, but considering that Last Stand takes place in ice too...)

KC11 · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 567

((Updated a bit))

Edit: Hello?

KC11 · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 567

Sorry to double post, but hello?

Kazumaru · Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:09 pm Post subject:

((Triple posting, if you wanna be picky about it...))

KC11 · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 567

((Alright then. I'm sorry that I took absolutly no time in writing this stupid RP. Lock this someone. I'll try to write better next time. I'll rewrite it.))

Lexington_Mouto · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 39

He stood there, looking through the binoculars as the bridge colapsed. He wondered where or what made that voice, his dog-like ears picking up the booming voice from the distance. His long black hair billowed in the breeze as his yellow eyes gleamed with a sense of duty to rescue the people in the icy cold waters below. He made his way along the cliffs, his feet slipping now and again. He loved the cold, the cold was his mistress, he loved the thought of taking a side break from his regular mission. Because he had stayed on that frigid mountain top for 5 days straight looking through the lens of a semi-automatic sniper rifle. It had been weeks since he had any contact with humans at all. His misson was a last minute thing, only for the highest ranked officals of his type of work. ((What kind of work might you ask? Post and follow this rp for I shall surely tell all))

Miyanokouji · Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:49 pm Post subject:

Locked as per thread creators request.

And Lexington Mouto - a few points, both on your RP style and technique, and what you're actually doing here.

First, you're posting in a clearly dead thread, reviving a dead thread isn't an advisable thing in most places.

Second, we don't know who this "he" is, ignore this if it's intentional.

Last, spelling and formatting: It does matter, please try to either improve it or at least, run it through a spell checker. Your text is also in one large block. Splitting it up a little more would improve its readability tenfold with ease.

I'm not pointing out flaws for the sake of pettiness - I just wish to help you improve as a roleplayer.