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Netdroid9
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 Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:32 am Post subject: Quote of the Month: DOJO EDITION!!!!! |
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...Nuff said. You know the drill, and if you don't, the rules are simple: Post a quote that you found enjoyable. Usually it'd have to have been posted last month (in this case it'd have to have been made in April), but because this is the very first QotM I'll allow posts from any time since the board's creation.
Now, the idea is to nominate quotes you like, which will be then judged by the mods after the nomination period is up. The authors of the wining quotes may (I've yet to confirm this, but the outlook is good) get  for their hard work, so get to work! You can nominate yourself, but it's recomended that you nominate other people as well if you do. You can nominate as many quotes as you like!
Remember, they don't have to be funny, just quotable.
Here's my two nominations:
| Danikat wrote: |
| Goron40 wrote: |
| "You there, flaming horse! Do you speak my native tounge?" |
((Now theres a sentance you just wouldn't see outside of RP.  )) |
| 3kul wrote: |
3kul: Fellow villagers, since we all face imminent and immediate doom, it's time we levelled with you. See, we haven't been entirely truthful in the way we've ruled over you and-
MfS: It was I who tainted our water supply with dangerously high amounts of pepper, not the rare endandered pepperfish!
3kul: Actually, that's not what I-
MfW: It was I who was secretly eating your children whilst you were wondering about the safety of the peppered water!
3kul: That's a little disgusting, considering that we didn't bathe because of that, but-
Douglas: It was I who-
3kul: Enough! Yes, those are all bad things that you did whilst we were in power, but we haven't gotten to my secret yet.
Random Villager #1: For the love of god, what is it?
Random Villager #2: Did you rob us whilst we slept?
Random Villager #3: Install cameras in our houses?
3kul: No no no, nothing that invasive to one's privacy. I secretly implanted microchips into you back when we decided that pinecones would be our currency. See, I just put the tiny chip on the edge of a pinecone, and it goes through your hand-
Random Villager #1: For the love of god, what do the chips do?
3kul: They turn you into cyborgs when I push this button.
Random Villager #3: But... Why?
3kul: To be honest, there's really only one reason - because I thought it would be cool. *presses button*
*five minutes later*
3kul: ... Why isn't anything happening?
Villagers: Because we already are cyborgs!
Douglas: 
MfS:
MfW: *chokes up a metal baby*
3kul: ... I mean,
((PLOT TWIST!!! FEEL THE DRAMA!!!)) |
Now, get quoting!
_________________
[quote="Sephirothsicase"]Bah, Give me 2 days and a load of napalm...[/quote]
List of Gods
Earth is our primary target. Control Earth, and you control the world.
Last edited by Netdroid9 on Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:55 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Goron40
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Wheee! I made a nomination!
*Runs off to find other cool quotes*
_________________
~Goron~
---
[align=center:aaa8839b63]The Fortress Ruins has all items on sale until synthing for the its items is applied. Get your tech while it's cheap!
The Guardians - The Protectors of Balance[/align:aaa8839b63] |
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Danikat
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Posts: 1058
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| Goron40 wrote: |
"A hug from you? Let me list reasons why that's not happening... First, you have no hands... Second... You're on fire! That would hurt very much..."
Goron eyes Embri uneasily.
"And don't the rest of you get any ideas..." |
_________________
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve ~ Sir Walter Scott
"There are three kinds of people in this word: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what on earth just happened." |
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GBE
Black Chameleon Belt (Mod)
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Posts: 1481
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| Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Net
Crowns. They're interesting little buggers, despite their simple lifestyle. They feed off the psychological stimuli of other life-forms. To do so, they scurry up behind someone and sit on their head. Quite embaressing if you ask me. They're very selective, often waiting millenia before finding a 'good enough' host. But when one comes along, boom, goodbye hat and hello parasticic *happy spices* made out of some kind of wierd metal thing. Just one warning: Don't try to pick one up, they bite.
Of course, Net knew nothing about crowns (his speciality being useless, pointless things like Quantum Physics and the Space/Time continuum.), and when he picked up the dusty old thing he got an aweful shock when it bit him, screamed 'Fark off, I'm trying to sleep' at him in a shrill voice and jumped behind a cupboard. Vowing to never do spring cleaning for DP again, he leaned down and read the label of the now de-crowned bust.
'The original king of Psychotopia, his likeness preserved for all eternity in this cheapo chineese bust. Some say his decendants still lurk the city, waiting for a chance to strike back at the 'Tyrant' that 'stole' their rightful place at the head of Psychotopian royal societ-'
Boom! Net sqeuals as a large chunk of roof suddenly becomes floor. He runs up the stairs, hoping to get to the bottom of all this.
***
"Got 'em! And you said I was a bad shot." "Two words: Total Luck-job." "...Suuuuure... "
*The battlemonkeys watch as their fellow team-mates drop into the palace building and start the long process required to complete their objective: 'Search and Destroy'.* |
| Quote: |
Addman
Psychotopia sure was weird. Not only were there no cookie shops in the entire shopping district, it had suddenly begun to rain salad, Addman's natural enemy. He was hardly surprised when a large booming noise was heard from the Psychotopian temple up ahead, but what did startle him was a girly scream which sounded like Net. Actually, it wasn't that shocking as the EC had all gotten used to that scream after Net came to the Halloween Party late and seen a room full of demons dressed as lawyers.
The ooking of battlemonkeys could also be heard in the distance. Perhaps the silly little simians had finally turned on their cruel trainer, or they were playing with the dynamite shaped like bannas again. Even so, Addman slinks away towards the temple to find out what's going on. |
| Quote: |
Net
Battlemonkey Sniper: ...Hello, what do we have here? Looks like someone's intruding on our fun. Shall I... 'Incapacitate' him?
Battlemonkey Leader: We have strict orders from HQ. Retrieve the crown and keep casualties to a minimum. Just stay here and make sure noone tries to get in.
*The battlemonkeys enter the palace, leaving the sniper in his nest to defend their flank.*
Battlemonkey Sniper: ...Screw that.
*A loud, high-pitched pulse echos off distant buildings as the sniper unleashes firey death on whoever was in his cross-hairs at the time.* |
| Quote: |
Addman
*As Addman walks toward the cause of the disturbance, a loud shot is heard that echos around the currently deserted area. A speeding bullet flies towards Addman, and makes contact with a cookie he was holding up, ready to place in his mouth. It shatters into a million pieces. Addman's eyes narrow*
You shall pay! |
Guys - Hilarity!
_________________
Books are source of knowledge,knowledge source of power,power is source of corruption,corruption is crime.Reading books will get you imprisoned!
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addman
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| Posted: Sat May 13, 2006 4:43 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
Father Mac
"Such an illustrious set of welcomes. Thank ye all for making such a man as myself feel so welcome. Indeed, some ideas may clash with my own. But I am not one to purposefully create an enemy out of someone. Oh no! I intend to see the best of all those that I can find!
Mr. T? A man to be blessed. A talented actor of such origin for his time. Great respect flows from my heart. And holy water is a powerful item when belief is true and pure.
Praise is something that comes easy, even to one who may have at one time tried to kill you my dear sista. But has this incredible God had a single bad thought about you recently? If not, I hope one could forgive and forget. A basis of many faiths!"
Looking down at the cat, "I cannot believe in one God. I believe in many. But there is always one God more powerful than another. I fear not any God, but, indeed, see the good in each one.
May you all prosper...." |
I just find this guy hilarious.
_________________
I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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Somefreakoverthere
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 3:04 am Post subject: |
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| Sephirothsicase wrote: |
| Bah, Give me 2 days and a load of napalm... |
I liked this one alot.Thats why i nomanated it.
_________________
| Zerrer wrote: |
| I admit, Knocking yourself out with a stick because you're frustrated is considered epic fail. You win. |
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Danikat
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Goron40 wrote: |
*Skips massively long post and tries to get a general idea by only readin last few lines*
So are you saying you're god? |
_________________
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve ~ Sir Walter Scott
"There are three kinds of people in this word: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what on earth just happened." |
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Fort
Green Monkey (Mod)
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Posts: 491
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| The Hitch-hiker's guide to Psychotopia has this to say about Grizzly Bears: 'Don't try and outrun one of Psychotopia's grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down and eat you. Of course, you could always climb up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.' |
Net's Sig. Funniest thing on the Dojo. 
_________________
I LIVE.
Last edited by Fort on Thu May 18, 2006 8:02 am; edited 1 time in total |
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3kul
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| Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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Wooo! I get Net's stamp of approval! *begins to stroke the non-existant stamp... however the hell one does such a thing*
QOTM is an awesome thing, and I was really sad that it kinda died over in GW, so it's great to see it here on Blackstar. If I could, I'd nominate the entire 'Colony in the Northern Regions' thread - almost anything in there is comedic gold  But I can't, so instead I'll find a few of my favourites... ah, here's one:
| Cloud wrote: |
*Cloud phones the Officer in charge of the ambush against Speeder.*
Cloud: It seems Douglas has moved locations, I want a trace on him immediately.
Officer: A trace?
Cloud: Yes!
Officer: How do we do that?
Cloud: He has been electronically tagged.
Officer: We ran out of those remember? He has been fitted with a bell.
Cloud: A bell that you can hear from any location around the world?
Officer: No, just a normal bell.
Cloud: This will not do at all, find Douglas by any means possible. Search this entire land if you have to! I want him found!
*In his anger Cloud smashes the brandy glass against the ground and walks off. Suddenly he sees his whole army on fire from Speeders crazy attack.*
Cloud: Oh no, this cannot be happening. JEEVES!
Jeeves: You called Sir?
Cloud: My whole army has been wiped out. I need this settlement nuked immediately while I'm teleported to a safe location!
Jeeves: Ok Sir!
Cloud: You mean we have a teleporter?
Jeeves: Ah no. We spent all our money on the nuke, I was just going to nuke the place with you in it.
Cloud: JEEVES, HOW DARE YOU!
*Jeeves picks up a white glove and slaps Cloud with it.*
Jeeves: You sir are a baboon. I quit!
Cloud: That's it! Cannons at dawn.
*Cloud and Jeeves appear on top of a hill a metre apart. They have huge cannons ready to fire. In the background a missile fires from the middle of Cloud's settlement, its target: Cloud's settlement!* |
I might post more later, but for now, off to uni! |
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Netdroid9
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:36 am Post subject: |
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| Fort wrote: |
| Quote: |
| The Hitch-hiker's guide to Psychotopia has this to say about Grizzly Bears: 'Don't try and outrun one of Psychotopia's grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down and eat you. Of course, you could always climb up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.' |
Net's Sig. Funniest thing on the Dojo. |
Ask UncleAsriel about the origins of that
_________________
[quote="Sephirothsicase"]Bah, Give me 2 days and a load of napalm...[/quote]
List of Gods
Earth is our primary target. Control Earth, and you control the world. |
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3kul
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| Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 4:15 am Post subject: |
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New quote nomination! 
| addman wrote: |
I'm sorry to tell you Dani, but due to radiation and some escaped monkeys from the zoo, England is now ruled by Apes. If you come back here, expect to become a slave to our great monkey masters and be forced to construct a 200,000 foot tall giant banana statue in their honour!
*Whipcrack*
Owch! Sorry bubbles, I'll get back to work!
*Whipcrack*
Owch, just let me finish this post!
*Whipcrack**Whipcrack**Whipcrack*
Owowowowowow! |
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Rin
Red Belt
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Posts: 237
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| Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Fort wrote: |
| Quote: |
| The Hitch-hiker's guide to Psychotopia has this to say about Grizzly Bears: 'Don't try and outrun one of Psychotopia's grizzlies; it'll catch you, knock you down and eat you. Of course, you could always climb up a tree. In that case you'll get a nice view before it knocks down the tree and eats you.' |
Net's Sig. Funniest thing on the Dojo. |
that came off a magic card....
_________________
Life is like a box of knives. They gleam and glitter when new, full of promise and potential; at the end of the day, they're always covered in blood. |
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Netdroid9
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 2:07 am Post subject: |
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Aiee! My secret source of quotes has been revealed once again! Thanks a lot!
_________________
[quote="Sephirothsicase"]Bah, Give me 2 days and a load of napalm...[/quote]
List of Gods
Earth is our primary target. Control Earth, and you control the world. |
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Fort
Green Monkey (Mod)
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Posts: 491
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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*Looks at Addman's pile of Red Dwarf.*
*Looks at Fort's hoarde of Monty Python.*
*Looks at Net's collection of Disworld and Monkey Island.*
*Looks at 3Kuls stash of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.*
Hmmm....if I may say so....we haven't had an origonal punchline in say...ever....
No really, search deep enough and you'll find that most of us copy of the Simpsons when all else fails....
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addman
Blue Monkey
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Posts: 1399
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| Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:51 am Post subject: |
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No we don't! Just ask this inanimate carbon rod!
_________________
I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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