OH NOES!!!

Swix · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 1:07 am Post subject:

*Swix glares at her appearance in the mirror, it's not all that much different, except for two glaringly obvious things. The first thing was that her ears were pointed, the second was that she was wearing an intricately woven green dress, which she tugged at in an annoyed fashion*

Swix: Great, I get to be the obligatory elf
????: You're not the obligatory elf, you're the obligatory Druid
Swix: You mean, the one who heals others?
????: Yep
Swix: You mean, the one who's obligatorily weak?
????: Well...
Swix: The one who's almost completely useless and couldn't lift a shield even if they're in dire need of it?
????: Yeah...
Swix: ... Screw this
*Swix starts to walk off*
????: ... Did I mention you have a split personality?
Swix: That'd be you then ... I'm still going
SP: And you can change into animals?
*Swix stops and cocks her head*
Swix: What kind of animals?
SP: Err... well, you'll have to level up to find out

*Swix nods, picks up a very light staff and walks out*

SP: Where are we going?
Swix: I'm an elf with a split personality and healing abilities, right? I'm off to the bar to drown the terrible memories that made me this way, then I'm going to heal myself and do it all again.

Netdroid9 · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 1:17 am Post subject:

*Net walks into the local bar, deciding that chances are your average talking cat would be drinking their ass off in order to forget the horrible, horrible tale that made them that way. He shrieks as he sees a strange two-eared cat-creature and jumps at it, attempting to trap it in the ridiculously small cage.

Unfortunatly, that cat-person was actually Swix.*

Raven · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 10:05 am Post subject:

Crash

Raven fell to the ground in some small village, hitting some crates. "What the f-!" She began, only to look shocked at herself. "I...I'm..."

2 days later...

Raven: Ohhhh yeah! *Dances in a strip bar.*
Random guy: Woooo!
Raven: *Dance*

The next day.

Raven: Urrgh... my head...
Random guy 2: Morning!
Raven: Wha- GAH! *Flees*

Raven's Journal, day 2:

I have no idea what's going on. 4 days ago I discovered I had the power to... shape shift. To my utter confusion, things simply don't seem the same. I fear I've turned into my worst lover... a warlock-ess-thingy. (Yeah, they may be old, and able to turn into good looking people. But gawd! They SUCK in bed!)

Day 3:

*Raven walks in her usual form into a bar.*

Bar keeper: Can I 'elp you?
Raven: Gin and tonic please.
BK: I'm sorry miss, but you're too young.
Raven: WHAT?! I'm bloody older then your grandmot- *Looks down at herself, seeing she's a 6 year old girl.* GODDAMMIT!

Day 4's journal:
I still don't know what's going on. But for some reason, I blame Net. I have embarked on a quest to find the runt. When I find him, I will make him pay for me not being able to get that drink.

Cloud · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:34 pm Post subject:

Right, now what do I do?

Cloud's log: Empty

That was useless.

GBE's log: Pick up dry cleaning, blow up the universe

May as well do his quests...

*3 days later*

Right, time to blow up the universe.

GBE · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 3:14 pm Post subject:

((lmao Cloud! lmao!!!))

GBE walks into the bar. and seeing Net attempting to capture Swix, quickly casts a shield spell around her. +10 exp. Walking upto Swix, past the confused Net who's trying to figure why his head is stuck in the cat cage:

GBE: I'm the obligatory healer here!
Swix: And what are you going to do about it?
GBE: Life tap you!
Swix: When did you get that ability?
GBE: Oh, I just had to walk into this bar and find you...
Swix: Why?
GBE: You're my next quest...
Swix: .........
Net: Giggity! *collapses, shuddering*
GBE: I meant, I'm supposed to do a quest involving you.
Swix: Grrrr!
GBE: Oh, and check out my leet heavy staff skills. What you got?
SP: Light staff skills, and shape-shifting abilities...
GBE: Ok. Lets go!

Halfway through the ensuing bar brawl, Swix's alternate personality forces her to change into a bear. Unphased, GBE grins, "About time... ANIMAL KINDNESS!" suddenly, the enraged Swix calms down and curls up into a ball, fast asleep...

GBE: Leet skills! +500 exp. -5 powerplay. +10 coolio points.
3kul: Only I can use the coolio reference...
GBE: How so?
3kul: Fear the 3kulio!
GBE: Aahahahahahahahahahahaha!
3kul: Well, that hurts actually....
GBE: Oh, I'm sorry... Aahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
3kul: *sucker punches GBE*
GBE: -50 cool points. -10 hp.

MDude · White Belt Old Friend Evil Council Member Posts: 341

MDude: So wait, what's my quest suppossed to be?

Book: Well, for now, wy not try to keep Cloud distracted?

MDude: Who?

Book: That guy that you went past several times in the last few days. The one with all the laundry. He's going to destroy the world.

MDude: How do you know?

Book: He's in earsot of us. Right next to us, in fact.

*MDude looks to his left, only to see a wall. He then looks the other way and sees none other than Cloud!*

MDude: Wait... Oh right, world destruction avoidance avoidance. Hey Cloud, I have a quest for you! Why don't you...

...

...Help me bake a cake? It'll be... um... a magic cake! Yeah!

Swix · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 5:15 pm Post subject:

*The bear in the bar wakes up, groaning, the SP had fallen asleep while Swix had been left awake*

Swix: Urgh, what smells funny? And why does everything look so different?

*The bear gets up and stomps out of the room, bursting through the door of the inn and causing the innkeeper to yell curses*

Swix: No need to be rude

*She waves a paw in the air nonchalantly, causing yet more damage*

Swix: Oh wait, I remember now... This has something to do with GBE and that hairy elf-hunter. I'm off to... uh... ask them why

*Swix says as she lumbers off, entirely unaware that she's now in the form of a shaggy brown bear*

3kul · Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 7:56 pm Post subject:

((Well since it seems that I'm being referred to in a few jokes I may as well post here Razz

))

3kul: Since everybody's going into that bar, I think I should as well.
Doorman: A monster! It's battle-time!
3kul: Ok, 'it's battle-time' is a very poorly formed sentance, what you should have said- *gets sucked into battle zone or whatever*

Nitpicker vs Doorman!

Doorman: Ok, I'm up first, let's go with DISCOVERY OF FAKE I.D.! (+5 competance)
3kul: I'm afraid I never had any I.D. in the first place. Possibly because I have no clothes as I'm a monster class, you moron.
Doorman: ARGH, A COUNTER-ATTACK! (-20 competance points, -5 cool points)
3kul: No, that was just me stating the obvious, here's my attack! WAVEY DANCE! (+5 groove points)
*steps from side to side, waving his tentacles everywhere*
Doorman: That's the stupidest looking attack I've ever seen. So stupid that I will freely waste my turn simply to laugh at you and humiliate you even further. (+5 total jackass points)
3kul: Cut me some slack you ass, I'm only level 1! (+5 lame points) WAVEY DANCE again.
Doorman: And yet... The waving... It's hypnotic...
3kul: Oh, that's a cool effect (+5 realization points) Ok Doorman, I command you to kill yourself (+5 evil points).
Doorman: I'm a level 5 Doorman... I don't have any killing moves... (+10 lame points)
3kul: Oh, ok then, um... Just give me your wallet and any spare exp that you might have and I'll just be on my way.
Doorman: You're the boss... *hands over wallet with 5 gold pieces and 20 exp*
*3kul gains: a wallet, 5 gold pieces and 20 exp*
3kul: Now to flee the battle! By the way, be sure to throw yourself upon the next person who tries to get in. *flees*

*jingle plays* 3kul wins! Levelled up! Now a level 2 Nitpicker!
3kul: Yes, sweet! What kind of new moves do I get?
No new moves available.
3kul: Aw, this class sucks. Or is it a race? Either way, I might have to go raid a library or something to find out when I get some cool moves, wavey dance is pretty lame. *heads over to his local library*

Netdroid9 · Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 1:49 am Post subject:

Cloud · Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2007 10:07 am Post subject:

Cloud: Oooh, a magic cake! But I need to finish GBE's quest off...
MDude: Did I mention it will blow up the world?
Cloud: Yes, but with my current quest I will blow up the universe. It's much more destructive.

*Walks off and enters a curious bar, he seemed to be attracted by it. Also his current quest location finder was bleeping very loud.*

BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP
Drunken Man: What did you say to me?
Cloud: Nothing, nothing at all.
BLEEP BLEEP
Drunken Man: My mother is not a chicken!
BLEEP BLEEP
Drunken Man: Yeah, my sister is.
Cloud: Get away from me you fool
Drunken Man: Yes I am rather cool
BLEEP BLEEP
Drunken Man: I haven't seen him
BLEEP BLEEP
Drunken Man: Not since that freak storm occurred.
Cloud: Shut up or I'll fight you.
Drunken Man: That is a challenge!

*Drunken Man is unveiled to reveal a Level 25 Clown*

Cloud: I'm in for it now. PIE ATTACK! (+25 stupid attack points)
Clown: (Immune to pie attack +5000 humility points) CLOWN ATTACK
Cloud: -9999 Humility points. No, I feel so much humiliation. (-500 Will Points)
Clown: It's your turn to attack
Cloud: But I've lost the will to do anything. (Spreads depression)
Clown: -9999HP. Clown dies from depression
Cloud: Gains 9999999999999999999999999999 EXP. Cloud Levelled up a lot of times... Cloud is now Level 50. Learned new Skills: Pie Cannon, Magic Dance[TM], Pie Shifting

Cloud: But I already had the magic dance. As for Pie Shifting, what the hell is that? (Pie Shifts)

Cloud!Pie: Oh, I'm a pie.
Addman: Oooh, a pie. I was feeling hungry.
Cloud!Pie: This is bad. Change back!
Help Tool: I'm sorry but you don't have enough Pie Points to shift back