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addman
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 Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:24 am Post subject: The Death Of Lillian V (and some asparagus too) |
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OK, they were doing this over at SA and I thought it was really funny. Bascially, there is a new search engine in town called Chacha.com, which allows you to search with a guide. When you type in your keyword and click Search With Guide, you are connected to someone else who will do all of your searching for you! Brilliant! I decided to give it a try:
| Quote: |
chacha log:
Topic: Asparagus
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LillianV
LillianV: Welcome to ChaCha!
LillianV: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: Hello Lillian, my that's a pretty name
LillianV: Thank you
LillianV: What would you like to know about asparagus?
You: I'm looking for asparagus, can you help me Lillian?
LillianV: Do you want a recipe?
You: I would like to know what the optimum temperature is for storing asparagus and growing asparagus and eating asparagus
LillianV: Sure, hold on please
You: OK, in the meantime, can I ask a question Lillian?
You: Is the V in your name a roman numeral? Making you the fifth Lillian in a long line of royal Lillians?
You: Wow, this is a long search, is asparagus hard to get hold of in these modern times?
You: Lillian, you're not dead are you?
You: Hello?
You: Oh Gods!
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I expected her to turn up some results a bit quicker than that , so naturally, I assumed she had collapsed in a heap and died. Hastily, I clicked Find Another Guide and tried to raise the alarm, however, in retrospect, I don't David was too concerned...
| Quote: |
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: DavidS
DavidS: Welcome to ChaCha!
DavidS: hi
You: Hello David, I'm a little concerned, can you help me?
DavidS: I can
You: My last guide, LillianV stopped talking for a long time, I fear the worst has become of her!
DavidS: maybe
DavidS: you never know
DavidS: this is a tough job
You: Sweet lord, is there nothing we can do?
DavidS: probably not
DavidS: it is probably too late
DavidS: at least you made it out
You: Can't you just check on her? You all live in the same building, right?
DavidS: umm no
DavidS: she was evicted
DavidS: last week
You: Oh dear, was she caught snorting cocaine through the unpaid house bills she was supposed to take care of?
You: That happened with my roommate.
DavidS: no she was hooking without a license
You: Hooking what? Ducks? Never mind, I'm sure she's ok. What can you tell me about Asparagus?
:Link: Discovery Online, The Skinny On... Asparagus Pee
You: Aspargus Pee? I'm not talking about urine here David!
You: I want to know what is the best temperature to store it and grow it!
:link: Everything About Asparagus... and More!
You: Hmm, everything about Asparagus, I'll give it a try, thank you David
DavidS: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Are there any Asparagus For Dummies guides on the Internet? I'm a bit of a dope when it comes to asparagus.
DavidS: let me check
:link: Gardening Asparagus Growing Guide for - How to
You: Thank you, you are like Alan Titchmarsh, only without a braless woman following you around
DavidS: I try
DavidS: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: Nope, I think that is everything
DavidS: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
DavidS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended. |
_________________
I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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MDude
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| Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe she was allergic to asparagus and didn't know it. |
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addman
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| Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:52 am Post subject: |
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Maybe she was, I hope the ambulance came in time.
Anyway, I'd really recommend Chacha, it's actually a good service. I seriously suggest you give it a try, it's still in Beta stages but there are thousands of guides to help you.
But then there are people who like to abuse it and make up silly searches, but that's something I would never do  . Here's what happened when I tried to find a pizza place:
| Quote: |
Topic: Pizza
Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: HollyS
HollyS: Welcome to ChaCha!
HollyS: Hi are you looking for recipes?
You: Hello Holly!
You: no, I was wondering if there was a place online where I could order pizzas
HollyS: Let me see. What city do you live in?
You: me and the guys are having a LOTR marathon and we need grub.
You: Nottingham
HollyS: Is that in the US or UK?
You: What? Dale, I don't know if they have mushrooms
You: Sorry, I was typing as I talked to my friend Dale, I do that a lot
You: It's in the UK
HollyS: no problem.
HollyS: Okay.
:link: http://www.pizzahut.com/
You: Is there anything except Pizza Hut? They are a little expensive
HollyS: I'm looking now...
:link: http://www.dominos.co.uk/
You: Hey Dale, is Dominos any good?
You: Dammit, done it again
HollyS: 
:link: http://www.pizzajoe.co.uk/
HollyS: Do any of those work for you?
You: Dale says he doesn't like Dominoes as he had a bit of an accident with some when he was a child
You: I'm just having a look at the others, do you have any more?
You: We need lot's of pizza, there are four of us
HollyS: I can look and see if there's anything else.
You: Yes thank you Holly
HollyS: Anytime.
You: Shurrup Kyle! I'm not going to ask her out!
You: Ahem, sorry about that
HollyS: lol
You: Oh god, that was embarressing
:link: http://www.uk.just-eat.co.uk/online-pizza-uk/
:link: https://online.ordertalk.net/famousmoes/web/default.aspx?tab=t_and_c
You: Erm, Cornelius wants to know how long it would take to order the pizzas from these sites
HollyS: I really don't know. It probably depends on the site.
:link: http://www.countyweb.com/results.aspx?searchMethod=Normal&codeOrSearch=code&w...
HollyS: Here's a list of the pizza restaurants in your area.
You: OK Cornie, she says it depends on the website it's ordered from!
You: He says thanks
HollyS: Of course.
HollyS: Well, I think that's the best I can do for you.
HollyS: Hopefully, you'll be able to find someplace to feed the crew.
You: Do we have to ring them up? I'd rather fill in a form over the Internet because I'm shy on the phone.
HollyS: Is there anything else I can help you find on this topic?
HollyS: Several of these will let you order online.
HollyS: I'm not sure about the list of others, I could look to see if any of them have websites, but it would take me a moment. Would you like me to do that?
You: Excellent thanks. Oh, Dale wants to know if the boxes the pizzas come in are square because he had a scary incident with a box as a child
You: He'd prefer round ones
HollyS: As I'm not an employee of any of the pizza places, I can't say. But hopefully they'll be able to tell you.
You: Shut up Dale, I don't know what she looks like!
You: Sorry, he keeps asking
HollyS: Oh, but have you seen me lately?
You: I haven't seen you at all, let alone lately
HollyS: lol. Okay.
HollyS: Well, that's probably a good thing.
You: Dale says he doesn't care
You: Goddammit Dale, she won't want to come and watch LOTR with us, she's working!
HollyS: Poor Dale doesn't seem to get it, does he?
HollyS: lol.
You: No, he's a little weird, I'm going to hit him with a spoon if he doesn't shut up
HollyS: lol okay, well I must go. I wish you much success in your pizza ordering.
You: Thanks Holly, thank you for your patience
HollyS: Have a good one!
HollyS: Anytime.
HollyS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended |
I was seriously surprised how well Holly took the joke and remained polite throughout. Although she'll never read this, I'd like to thank her for being a good sport 
_________________
I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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Danikat
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 4:31 am Post subject: |
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That was funny.
I might have to try that out sometime.
If you really want to know about asapragus you could try asking the guy who runs Neopets. I seem to remember he had a strange obsession with it.
_________________
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve ~ Sir Walter Scott
"There are three kinds of people in this word: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what on earth just happened." |
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Cloud
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 5:05 am Post subject: |
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Awesome, I still see your spare time is spent well. 
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| Come and see the famous Cluckles - Coming to a Hatchery near you! |
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Somefreakoverthere
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| Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 9:06 am Post subject: |
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Yes, on his birthday he turned every single neopet into an asapragus chia for the day. No fun for me, seeing as I adore Kougras!
_________________
| Zerrer wrote: |
| I admit, Knocking yourself out with a stick because you're frustrated is considered epic fail. You win. |
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Panther385
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Guest
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 2:16 pm Post subject: ChaCha can find anything on the Internet, Addman |
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And by the way, you're welcome. |
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Panther385
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addman
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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OH MY GOD! THEY'RE TRACING MY EVERY MOVEMENT!
Very funny Miss Holly, but let's see who's really behind the mask, shall we
*advances on HollyS to try and remove any type of mask that she may be wearing.*
_________________
I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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unlistedgabriel
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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oh yeah lol
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~Men live for a lifetime, hero's live forever~ |
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Spook
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Addman, you're horrible. In a very funny way. |
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Cloud
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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*Anticipates a Scooby Doo style unveiling where the whole of Blackstar says the culprits name at exactly the same time. *
_________________
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| Come and see the famous Cluckles - Coming to a Hatchery near you! |
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Guest
Spam Bot
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: Truth be known... |
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| I'm actually.......HollyS. And you're still welcome. |
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EnDSchultz
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| Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:45 pm Post subject: |
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| While it would be hillarously funny if you are, I am still required to be exceedingly suspicious as to the validity of your claim. |
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