The Wall

[addman]

Addman heard what Panther said, and thinking she was talking about him, looked very hurt.

"You may not think I'm attractive, but I'm beautiful on the inside! Except for all that stuffing...and all the crap I've eaten, but apart from that I'm a prize catch and you would be lucky to have me!"

A swipe from the mangled monster hits Addman in the side of the head whilst he was distracted.

"Perhaps we should fight back instead of standing here talking"

Addman recieves another hit, knocking him to the floor, unconcious.

[Fort]

*The Monster roared, and finding it acceptable in todays modern world, picked up Panther and Addman, and climbed to the top tower of the castle, besoted with bigamest and multigender love for the two.*


***

Peasant: Hmmm....look over there! A shape! On top of Doctor Frankensense's castle!
Peasent #2: He's mad you know! He tried to start up a Pianist Enlargment program!
Peasent: Pianist?
Peasent #2: That's what I heard! Filling the world with oversized Pianists, forcing the piano stool market to rethink itself! Eventualy creating uncomofrtable but durable seating for the world!
Peasent: GASP! That must be a rampant Pianist experiment on top of that tower!
Peasent #2: He has gone too far! Lets mob the castle!
Peasent: Lets learn Latin first! So we may storm him in the full knowlage that we are an educated mob!
Peasent #2: Good idea!
*A Mob. From out of nowwhere, go to the local school to learn latin.*

***

Fort: Oh God! You crazy doctor! That....thing, has taken my lackies!
Frankensense: Now that we're alone. How about a shove and a tickle?
Fort: Wha-?
Frankensense: I warn you, you must lie completely still and pretend to be dead. And you better have cold hands and feet.
Fort: ....Fine. But I warn you, you've got to do something for me to.
Frankensense: What?
Fort: You have to Yahhhr like a Pirate.
Frankensense: ...I'm uncomfortable with these terms.
Fort: Lets face it, guys like us, we're freaks, we don't get laid that often, after being on the high seas for so long, away from out fellow man, riding the rough waves in search of treasure-
Frankensense: Stop that!
Fort: Oh give it a go.
Frankensense: Yaahhhr?
Fort: No no. YAHHHHHRRGGHHHH! YAAAARRRGGGHHH!
Frankensense: Okay, no, I give up, your more wierd than I am. I'm go-...is it me? Or do you hear the sound of Latin Chanting?
Fort: I do hear it. M'heartys.
Frankensense: No Pirate stuff. Please!

***

*The monster looked down at the Mob, utterly confussed, and using it's medical trained duck wings, held onto the building, and in its rinhwraith arms, shook Panther and Addman at the Latin chanting crowd.*

***

Peasent: Egads! Look at it! That has got to be the fattest Pianist I've ever seen!
Peasent #2: Look at its chubby fingers!
Peasent: We must destroy the beast!
Mob: Destroy the beast! Attero bestia! Destroy the beast! Attero bestia! Destroy the beast! Attero bestia!


((The insparation for this one just hit me when I was falling asleep. ))

[addman]

((Fort is into pirates? I wondered why he was giving me weird looks when I had to wear that eye patch for a week!))

Addman began to regain conciousness as he was shaken above the most intelligent mob he had ever laid his googly eyes on.

Mob: Comeus downicus
Addman: These people are SO cultured!
Mob: Comeus downicus soest we may kickicus thy assious
Addman: Their language is really beautiful.

The monster obviously didn't think so, as he shook Addman by the scruff of the neck in an angry manner and roared at the mob like Godzilla with his privates caught in a door frame. Leaping off the building, the monster landed in the middle of the mob and began to slaughter the peasants left, right and centre. In the midst of all this action, he drops Addman and Panther to the ground.

Addman: Come on, we can make our escape. Let's just find Fort and get the hell out of here.
Panther: Wait, I thought you wanted to loose Fort.
Addman: I just remembered I lent him 25 cls for a can of Splurge. If he dies I'll never get it back.

Addman ducks a few angry pitchforks, then runs straight back into the mansion. As he runs up the stairs, he notices Panther is taking the stairlift again. Cursing to himself, he eventually reaches the front door and swings it open to see Dr. Frankensense dressed up like Blackbeard, and Fort laid on a table with a name tag on his toe and his hands in buckets of ice.

Fort: So I have to lay perfectly still?
Frankensense: Myesssss.
Fort: Not myessss....YAHHHHHRRGGHHHH!
Frankensense: YAHHHHHRRGGHHHH! YAHHHHHRRGGHHHH!
Addman: Fort, I'll ask about this whole pirate thing later, but we need to go, NOW!
Fort: Quiet, I'm trying to get into character!
Addman: COME ON!

Grabbing hold of the headmaster, Addman pulls him to his feet and begins to push him out of the door.

Frankensense: YAHHHHHRRGGHHHH! He's stealin' me first mate! After them Trebor!
Trebor: No diggity. Can I pop a cap in their asses?
Frankensense: ...I guess it's no weirder than what I was about to do, sure! Knock yourself out.
Trebor: Word.

((For those who were wondering, Splurge is a soft drink invented by Slugfoot. No one knows the ingredients, or where she gets it from, but she always has a steady supply))

[Fort]

*Fort turns back to Addman.*
Fort: Stop shoving damn-it! What the hells the rush?! I assume you've killed the monster, as is the rules to escaping!
Addman: Nope! The Monster is after the beutiful peasents!
Fort: Ahh, peasents, eh? Have your eye fo-
Addman: Never. Ever. Show any sign of sexual intrest in anyone. Ever again. Got it?
Fort: Yup.
Addman: Wait....Or ANYTHING!
Fort: Oh damn...you saw through my cunning plan. What are you going to do if I do?
Addman: I'll personaly see it you'll end up like Net.
Fort: Got it. Fine. I won't. Why are we running to the front door?
Addman: Have you got a problem with that?
Fort: Oh no. Unless the monster is somewhere completely less obvious.
Addman: ...lets use the back door.
*Fort and Addman swiftly change direction.*
Fort: Hah! I knew it! Where's Panther?
Addman: Forget about Panther! Panthers dead! She's in the past! She doesn't owe me money!
Fort: She's dead?
Addman: She can take care of herself!
Fort: Uhhuh...Look out!!!
*Fort and Addman run directly into Trebor, bowling him over into a wall. Leaving the trio in a tangled heap.*
Trebor (while holding a child's cap gun): Oh I'm gonna' enjoy this! Dawg!
Fort: I don't like where this is going! Hog Tie that man!
*Addman and Fort quickly Hogtie Trebor and throw him into a dank corner.*
Trebor: MMMMPHHH! MMMMPPHH! MPPPMMM! DAWG!
*Suddenly, the front entrance to the caslte falls to the ground, and Frankensense's Monster bursts through, following a scragly band of Educated Mob!
Mob: Arggh! Help! Intelect can't save us from the fat Pianist!

[addman]

The monster stares Addman coldly in the face, his eyes piercing through the muppet's with a deadly glare of murderous rage. Addman glared back, as if he and the monster had just entered some sort of silent agreement, the agreement that they were going to settle things once and for all. Without averting his gaze, Addman began speaking to Fort:

"I say it's time to fight! We could carry on running as much as we like but enemies will always follow us. It's time we took a stand, made it clear that we are proud Evil Council members, a force to reckoned with and feared! We shall run away from no one! They shall run away from us! This is the time to..."

Addman turns around to see Fort has already begun climbing out of the window.

"Oh, what's the use?"

Addman begins to climb out of the window too. Frankensense begins to hobble after them with his peg leg.

Frankensense: You cannot let zem ezcape! After zem! Monzter! Trebor! Deztroy them both and bring me their limbz!
Monster: RRRRAAAAAAWWWWRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!
Trebor: Mmmmnphhhh!
Frankensense: Trebor, you are hogtied!
Trebor: Mmmmnnnn Murrrppphhhhnmmm
Frankensense: Monztar! Abort the chaze, we have zome urgent buzinezz to take care of firzt.

Frankensense and the monster carry Trebor up the stairs to their private quarters, Trebor screaming with terror through his gag all the way.

*******

Meanwhile, in the castle courtyard out back, Addman drops from the window and lands behind Fort. Peering through the darkness (Oh yes, it's night time now. The passage of time only hightens this RP's integrity) it appears that the Doctor has a large and confusing hedge maze in his grounds that they must pass through in order to escape.

Addman: Well, looks like we have to go through here.
Fort: We could have left through the front door, but NOOOO!
Addman: I wanted to use the front door! You suggested this route.
Fort: Anyway, we're here now so let's stop moaning about your incompetance and let's go.
Addman: Alright, but let's be careful. There could be anything lurking in there. Knowing Frankensense it'll probably be something which wants to mate with us, so stay alert.
Fort:...You want to play with this yoyo?
Addman: SURE!

Fort and Addman venture into the maze playing with yoyos.

[Fort]

Fort: They say that the best way to find your way out of a maze is to go left.
Addman: That's exactly what that Necrophiliac would have wanted! Let's go right!
Fort: Why not left?
Addman: Right! Damn it! And then, in case he overthought my pure cunningness! We'll go left again! Then right! Then right! The left! Then right! Then Left! Then Right! Then Left! Then Left! Then-
Fort: Fine. Let's get lost. Then I can blame you, and revert to eating you for survival. Till then I'll live of the land.
*Fort begins throwing barley from his pockets upon the grass.*
Addman: Hmmpphhh, keep your seeds, I'll be breeding farmyard animals?
Fort: From what?
Addman: Have you ever concidered Gender reverting surgery?
Fort: No of course not! ...what do you mean reverting?
Addman: Nothing let's keep walking with Yo-Yos, forget I said anything.
*Fort and Addman confuse themselves in the maze, Fort all the time throwing barley on the ground, and Addman, menwhile, growing feminine hormones on his scalp. Suddenly, at a deft corner, Fort and Addman fall upon a group of people, who were bathing their feet in metal tubs.*
Addman: I'm taking bets 2 to 1 that they turn out to be relatives of Frankensense and therefore sexual predators.
Man with feet in Bathtub: We're wise Monks!
Fort: No thanks. We've had some already.
Man with feet in Bathtub: We are the famous Monks of the Maze! More sacared than the Monks of teleportation!
Fort: I've never heard of any of you. All you lot beyond the wall are stark raving crazy.
Man with feet in tub: According to sources from travelers, the lands beyond the wall have flying cows, battles between factions that pop from nowhere, and a Sexually deviant Owl.
Fort: Our lands are crazy, but you lot have Sexual deviants and Medicaly trained ducks. And-...are your feet stuck in cement?
Man with feet in bathtub: It is a sacred ritual to us. Once we learn to control the minds of others, we deep our feet in cement to show chasity.
Fort: Control the minds of others?
Cemented Monk: Yup.
Fort: And you can control the minds of others?
Cemented Monk: Oh you'd be suprised how many people can do that, funnily enough a lot of people that learn our mystic arts drop out before the initiation ceramony.
Fort: Oh how curious.
Cemented Monk: Indeed, it's almost as like people don't want to eat of the lands of the maze, or get their feet cemented in great metal bathtubs.
*Fort continues scattering Barley across the ground.*
Fort: Well I'll be helping you eat off the land anyway...unlike some people who think they can make it by grazing cattle...
*Fort casts a dirty look at Addman, who was looking up at his scalp in concentration.*
Cemented Monk: If you could graze cattle, that would be very nice, it's very hard living off the land by eating grass all the time.Are those sunflower seeds your scattering?
Fort: No.
Cemented Monk: Good. We're all allergic to Sunflower seeds. Oh, and barley, heavily allergic to Barley. Even the seeds make us all bloated and explode.
Fort: Bwaahhh....!
Monk: It's time for tea now, I think.
*The Monks all suddenly begin eating Fort's barley ridden ground.*
Fort: Addman. Let's walk away. Very. Very. Fast.
*Fort and Addman walk past the Monks, who begin coughing slightly.*
Addman: I wonder how many foerigners you've finnaly managed to kill with your stupid ideas now.
Fort: Shut up.
Addman: You and your barley seeds. Fool. Unlike my brilliant idea.
Fort: Your idea reverts to canabilizim and eating children!
Addman: I would like to point out that you threatened to eat me!
Fort: That's a completely diffrent idea where I don't have to share food or change my gender.
Addman: Mmmhhmmm.
Fort: Shut-up. Just. Shut-up. It's not like I MEANT to kill those Monks, after all, it's not as bad as that time you force fed nut allergic orphans, nuts.
Addman: Good times. Good times. But on a completely diffrent note, have you noticed how many diffrent Monks there are to South of Blackstar?
Fort: Yeah, that is odd. Someone could make a real profit in the Yak's milk industry here.
Addman: Someone already had that idea, sadly, we passed a Yak's milk coffee chain a moment ago.
Fort: Coffee chain?
Addman: It's called YakBucks.
Fort: And we just passed it? Shouldn't we turn back in our stride?
Addman: You were so caught up in your stride I didn't want to disturb you.
*Fort and Addman hastily turn back the way they'd come, following Fort's trail of barley seeds for directions, and find a Coffee shop.*
Addman: Whoops. It wasn't YakBucks at all, it's Yak'sButt Milk Coffeehouse.
Fort: Hmm, seems quaint and Neony at the same time. Feel like a Yak'sbutt?
Addman: Why not.
*Fort and Addman sueavely walk into the Coffeplace, looking like two strange cowboys going into a saloon, only they were two complete failures going into a coffee house chain.*

[addman]

*Addman and Fort sit down at the last empty table in the whole coffee shop. Surprisingly the coffee house was bustling, like it was located within a busy metropolis instead of a hedgemaze in someone's backyard. Still, the pair paid little attention to this obvious plot hole and casually sat in the comfy leather seats.

Eventually, a waitress arrived to take their order*

Waitress: May I take your order? ((See? Told you so!))
Addman: Let me handle this Fort, I know how to speak the language...ahem...Evenin' Ma'am, could me an' ma pardner here have three fingers of yer finest whiskey?
Fort: I'd rather have a mocha latte.
Addman: Quiet, you can't ask for girly coffee here, we need something manly otherwise someone will pull out a six shooter, call us "Varmits" and shoot us where we stand.
Waitress: Sorry, we don't serve alcohol sir.
Addman: Listen missy, we're two nasty outlaws on the run. If yer don' give us our whiskey the buzzards'll be fighting the lizards for your gizzards.
Fort: Can't we just have a frappe and a muffin?
Waitress: Sir, we don't have whiskey, would you like to see a menu?
Addman: Dammit! Me an' ma pardner ain't here for no damn pansy-assed coffee!
Waitress: You two are partners? I hope you don't mind me saying, but you two actually make quite a cute couple.
Addman: What? Nonono, it's not like that! We're just colleagues, nothing else.
Fort: ...and why not?
Addman: What?
Fort: What's wrong with me?
Addman: You're ugly, half reindeer, and you're only so tall because your nose is trying to get as far away from your stinky feet as possible!
Fort: Why are you saying these things?
Waitress: Don't listen to him, some men are just pigs!
Fort: I feel so unappreciated!
Waitress: I know how you feel, my boyfriend is just the same. Let me get you some ice cream, on the house.

*The waitress leaves and returns moments later with a tub of ice cream, handing it to Fort whilst producing two spoons. The pair begin to dig in, sobbing between mouthfuls*

Addman: Maybe we should leave.
Fort: Pig!
Addman: C'mon, you're making a scene. Everyone's staring!
Fort: You don't know what it's like being a woman!
Addman: Neither do you, for crying out loud!
Fort: ...erm...heh heh yes. Well, thank you for the ice cream but we must be leaving now.

*As they approach the exit, a familiar face appears in the doorway*

Yotaman: Going somewhere?
Addman: You! But you're dead!
Yotaman: Not anymore, thanks to the monks of the maze and their mind reading powers!
Addman: That doesn't make sense.
Yotaman: Well they read Frankensense's mind and knew how to rebuild me...they also inadvertently discovered seventeen new types of fetishes, including duck's feet, yoghurt, and pirates...
Fort: We don't have time to listen to this! You're blocking our escape so move aside!

*Yotaman pulls out an automatic rifle*

Addman: ...maybe we should take cover!

[Fort]

Fort: No! I'm sick of this running away!
*Yotaman cocks gun.*
Fort: ...actualy running sounds fun!
*Fort hides behind a Seatee. Addman behind the accompaning leg res.*
Yotaman: Damn! They've hidden behind flimsy coffee shop furniture! Now I will be forced to walk round said items to find them!
Fort: Shut-up and get on with it!
*Yotaman walks round furniture. Addman and Fort crawl round to opposite ends.*
Yotaman: Damn it! Don't make this hard on yourselves! You Ovary destorying balmpots!
Addman: Look...if it makes you feel better, they weren't what I was aiming for, I wasn't even aware you had said sexual organs.
Yotaman: It's a very confussing story about being knocked unconcious in a biking accident and having Frankensense as the Hospital Surgeon.
Fort: Free Health care. when. will. they. learn?
Yotaman: Anyway, I've given up for public execution and I want to destory you where you stand with this automatic rifle.
Addman: You don't say?
Fort: Well concidering this is an overcrowded coffee shop, I don't see why this isn't a public execution.
*Coffeeshop customers stare at the Monk with the rifle.*
*Suddnenly an old man wearing a crown falls from the roof of the coffee shop.*
Old man: Yotaman! I don't have much time! I'm you from the future! Frankensense comes after you and makes you pregnent! And you become king of the gnome people! Whatever you do! Don't sucumb to the power of the Latte!
*The old Monk man phazes out of existance, and a shallow rumbiling is heard, the coffee shop floor breaks and hundreds of green faced gnomes burst forth, with small assorted paintrbrushes and clothying made from illeigal narcotics.*
Fort: Why didn't that old man mention us? Facist...
Gnome Person: Sucumb to the Greater Latte, human people!

[addman]

A bunch of gnomes entered the coffee shop from broom closets that even the waitresses had no idea existed, or at least, that is how it appeared to the naked eye. For those who are really wanting to know, please read this extract from Stephen Hawkings "Dimensional Phenomenon And Other Conjecture About Freaky Crap":

[Fort]

*The Gnomes stop and glower at Addman.*
Gnomes: One of us. One of us. Sucumb to the Latte.
*The Gnomes all rush for Addman and the gun at once, pinning him to the ground, hogtieing him up and growling menacingly.*
Addman: FORT! PICK UP THE GUN! SHOOT THEM!
*Fort picks up the gun.*
*Fort points it at Addman.*
Addman: NO! Second thoughts! I have a better chance of living if you don't!
Gnome person: You will Sucumb to the Latte, Blue one.
*The Gnomes drag a frothy Latte under Addman's chin.*
Gone: This is scalding hot, so if you don't say: "YES I SUBMIT, GNOME OVERLORDS!", you get hot coffee all over your non-existant but nethertheless there nose.
Gnome #2: What about the others?
Gnome: They're not going anywhere, they're idiots.
Fort: Do I start with my left or right leg? Oh gods! Why did I have to forget now!

[addman]

*Wincing as the ugly Gnomes got closer, Addman screwed his face up in disgust.*

Addman: You guys are really ugly.
Gnomes: Guys?!

*The Gnomes took off their pointy hats to reveal girlish locks of golden hair.*

Addman: You're all women?
Gnome Leader: Of course we are, what made you think we were men?
Addman: The beards?
Gnome Leader: All Gnomes have beards regardless of gender! How dare you insult our femininity!
Addman: Look, I'm sorry ok? It's not everyday you get hogtied by a bunch of female, bearded Gnomes. How come your army is comprised entirely of women?
Gnome Leader: Conversely to humans, in Gnome society it is the women who are regarded as the bread winners, well that's until the Masculinity Marches in the 70's, where Men burned their jockstraps in protest and marched for equal rights.
Addman: Wow, so it's opposite land? Where rain falls up? And Governments are competant?
Gnome Leader: No...just the gender thing.
Addman: Ah I see, so who was the first Gnome on the moon?
Gnome Leader: Nelly Armstrong!
Addman: Interesting, and who discovered America?
Gnome Leader: Christine Columbus.
Addman: Really? OK, last one, who wrote Romeo and Juliet?
Gnome Leader: Will Shakespeare.
Addman: Ahhh, so it was a bloke!
Gnome Leader: No, Wilma Shakespeare!

*Fort, who had missed most of the conversation trying to remember how to walk, suddenly realised that these beared Gnomes were female*

Fort: Ergh! That's sick!
Gnome Leader: What? Our beards?
Fort: Your people are disgusting, I bet your men shave their legs!
Gnome Leader: You should know, remember Loletta?
Fort: My secretary?
Gnome Leader: Yes, she was a male Gnome in disguise!
Fort: OH GOD NO!
Addman: Fort, didn't you say you peeped up her skirt? How could you not tell?
Fort: Well her Calvin Klein boxer shorts covered up any way of knowing what gender she was.
Addman:...I should never have asked.

*After a seemingly long conversation, the Gnomes opened up a warp portal in the coffee house and began to carry Addman through ((Who was still hogtied))*

Fort: After them! They are taking Addman!
Yotaman: I thought you two hated each other.
Fort: Yes but he owes me 25cls for a can of splurge!

*Addman's head pops out of the portal for a brief second*

Addman: Actually, you owe me 25cls.
Fort: Really? Oh well, then take him away.
Addman: NOOOOOOOO!

[Fort]

Yotaman: Quick! After them!
Fort: What?
Yotaman: You heard them! I become their King!
Fort: I would like to point out that you are already the leader of a great City of Half-Naked monks.
Yotaman: Fool! These are Gnomes! Better than Monks!
Fort: Mhmm...I'm not even going to ask you your reasoning.
Yotaman: Fine. Whatever! After them!
Fort: I am your Arch-Nemisis you know. Since when did we become acomplices?
Yotaman: Either you go with me into that Portal thingy, or you can stay here in this Coffee-shop, explain to these befudeled onlookers what's happened, oh, and still stay within a 5 km radiace of Frankensense.
Fort: Let's go!

***

*Fort and Yotaman stare on upon Gnomeoppolis.*

Fort: Wow...this is kinda...a letdown.
*Fort and Yotaman stare at the knee high skyscrapers.*
Yotaman: Dare ya' to knock one down.
Fort: ...no. I don't like you.
Yotaman: Let's find the Gnomes and get my Kingship!
Fort: I'm going to look for Addman, I think he was just going to try to escape paying me by being kidnapped, tricky devil, I'll get that money out of him yet.

*Fort walks amongst the streets, which for some odd reason was completely silent.*

Fort: Wow...I thought there'd be more screaming and...stuff.
*Suddenly Fort finds Addman tied to a surgical Podium, surrounded by the Gnome population.*
Gnome King: And now my people! I will lower this mind control device on this lumox! And he will be a seat fit for a king! And through his height and breanth! I will become GOD!
*Gnome King slowly begins to lower a very throne shaped mind control device upon Addman's Forehead.*

*Yotaman comes up behind Fort.*
Yotaman: Finnaly! The Gnome people! I found them!
Yotaman: ...
Yotaman: Is that your freind they've got tied to that block of cheese?
Fort: It's a Gnome Sized Podium. They're going to make him a Locomotive.
Yotaman: Like a train? With wheels? Cool. Although I have to say as a Monk your Morals of watching this all happen and not doing anything are very low.
Fort: I think I liked you better when you hated me. Anyway, after he has been brainwashed and god knows what, to be made acceptable for the Gnome King's bunions, I figure he's not going to want his wallet very much.
Yotaman: So...are we going to introduce ourselves?
Fort: Nah...they seem too captivated on the experiance of the Addman-Mobile(TM).

*All the Gnome turn to look at Fort and Yotaman.*

Yotaman: Infidel-one you Jinx.
Fort: Shut-up before I get the Addman-Mobile(TM) to shoot at your female parts.

[addman]

Addman: Oh thank god you're here! You've gotta get me off this thing!

The device is lowered onto Addman's head and suddenly, his googly eyes straighten up, staring widely at both Fort and Yotaman. A Gnome leaps forward and climbs into the throne as the other gnomes release the straps binding Addman down. The possessed puppet stands upright.

Gnome King: Now, my mindless drone, dispose of these two insects!
Addman: Yes master...
Gnome King: ...Mistress! Remember that we're female.
Addman: Whatever!
Gnome Queen: Use that handily placed rocket launcher over there and blow them to smithereens!

Mindlessly, Addman bend down and lifts up the rocket launcher, placing it over his shoulder. Before Yotaman or Fort even had chance to wonder why the Gnomes would have built a human sized gun, Addman pulls the trigger...

[Fort]

*Fort dives out of the way of the rocket proppeled grenade, unfortunetly, Yotaman wasn't so lucky*
Yotaman: ARGGHH! My Ovaries! ...AGAIN!
*Yotaman's entire front turned black, saved only by the exploding Pinyata which showered the Gnomes in sweets, -which to them was a meteor shower- he clutched his abdomen and rolled about painfully on the ground.*
Fort: Addman remember me? Addman?
*Addman continues to load up the gun.*
Fort: Bad idea! DON'T remeber me! I'm an inocent Orphan...errm...I'm an inocent Duck! Quack! Quack!
Addman: Bwah...D-D-Duck?
Gnome Queen: Arggh! The Control Pannel is overloading with love and compassion! It's gonna blow!
Gnome Male: You known what else blows? Your sexist attitude you Pig!
Gnome Queen: I don't have time for this you bloody Suffragist!
*Gnome Queen unbuckles herself and dives out of the throne shaped control pannel, which explodes in an unspectcaular gnome sized "poof"*
Addman: Wait a minute...Fort? Your not a Duck! What just happened?
Fort: Never mind! Let's just get out of here! ...and stop pointing that thing at me!
Addman: This would be a good time for you to pay me back!
Fort: I don't owe you at all!
Addman: Then I'll fire again!

*Suddenly, an excentric old man wearing a big red helmet and flying goggles with a large propeller tied to his back, lands squarely between Fort and Addman.*
Frankensense: Helllllo Boys!

[addman]

Addman checked to his left, then to his right. No other EC members were around. This was his perfect opportunity to kill Fort off once and for all and take over, then when they got back, he could claim that Fort valiantly gave his life handing over the 25cls he owed. His finger began to pull back on the trigger as a big smirk spread across his face. He would finally taste what it was like to sit in the headmaster's seat ((As opposed to tasting the headmaster's seat, which Addman did once when Fort was out on business. It tasted like eggy sweat)).

Before he got the chance, Frankensense appeared and landed between them.

Addman: Noooooooooooooooooo!
Frankensense: Well, I never expected that reaction.
Fort: What are you doing here?
Frankensense: Well you are in my basement.
Fort: WHAT?
Gnome Queen: ...Yes, it's true, we live in his basement
Frankensense: Which reminds me, it's time for your rent Gnome Queen!
Gnome Queen: I am sorry Frankensense, but we are struggling to make ends meet. Our farms are dying, our crops do not grow, the land gives us nothing!
Frankensense: And yet you still found the time, money and resources to construct a mind control device, a teleportation system, and a rocket launcher?
Gnome Queen: ...Discounted on eBay.
Addman: Oh eBay's great!
Fort: Yeah definately.
Frankensense: You can find anything there, even fetish gear. Is that where you got your tiny dominatrix costume from Gnome Queen?
Gnome Queen: No, Tila Tequila sells them off MySpace.
All: Ooooooh!
Frankensense: Anyway, that annoying little girl reminds me, Fort! When are we going to act out that roleplay?
Addman: What roleplay?
Fort: Oh erm...back at the castle, I erm...sort of agreed....
Addman: Oh god, this isn't what that whole hands in the ice bucket thing was, was it?
Fort: Well...
Addman: Oh god, so if I'd have walked in a few seconds later...
Frankensense: We'd have been doing...

Addman quickly covers his ears as Frankensense begins to describe the proceedure. Unfortunately for the traumatised muppet, Frankensense begins to do the actions too as he explains, including some provocative thrusting, hooking his own legs behind his head, and spinning around on his elbows. Addman watches in horror until he finally dares to uncover his ears.

Frankensense: ...Of course the extension cord wouldn't have reached, but it's nice to dream...
Fort: I'm sure I didn't agree to that.
Gnome Queen: I'll do it!
All: WHAT?!
Gnome Queen: I've been wondering if there was anyone else out there who shared my desire, and finally it's come true!
Frankensense: Really?
Gnome Queen: Yes, now on your knees, maggot!

Frankensense falls to his knees and begins to crawl off with the Gnome Queen following behind.

Frankensense: Consider your rent paid!
Queen Gnome: Quiet, worm!

The pair find a secluded spot of the basement and leave Addman and Fort stood around aimlessly.

Addman: ...Let's leave.
Fort: I thought you'd never ask!

Both of them run up Frankensense's staircase and into the hall, this time they head for the front door.