ATTN EVERYONE! THE PANTS ARE/WERE DEAD!

[drlupinmario]

I regret to inform you all that just this night one hour ago the pants happend to have died in a fatal car crash. This thread will be dedicated to the pants and all its pants-ness.


Indeed it should be noted that by further investigation, the ground was all bloody and messy from headcrabs. Furthermore, The police and FBI suspect that it is actually foul play, as a few witnesses suggest that there was a sniper on the book depository and the grassy Hole that day. But whatever sick bastards who did this will be caught. Already, Some idiot named John Freezeman or something swore onto his name "It is time for me to live up to my family name and face Full life Consequnces. " before walking into a signpost.

Below I post the recent crime photograph of the pants.



Warning! If you happen to be squimish or there are little kids in the room... well, I suppose it may be too late.

[Somefreakoverthere]

I...Wait....What?

What? What?

I-I-I AAAAAAAAGHEHBLEBELEH!

[Danikat]

[Cloud]

I'd prefer to remain stoic throughout this whole affair and simply raise my eyebrow slightly.

[Sephirothsicase]

*Gets into his motorcycle.*

It's a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother defeat the enemy. D<

OMG HEADCRAB ZOMBIE.

[drlupinmario]

You see, the sad thing is that I knew PANTS personally. We both lived in the large but rather unknown city of Lyontt PA.

I spoke with Officer Sunny (Not to be confused with Officer Sonny Bonds) who was busy shoving in krispy kreams in his large pot of a mouth. He told me with his mouth full "Oh, Pants? That guy? Yeah, We'll keep you updated, Whatever. Now do you have that large lard-stuffed cake I orderd?"

Unsatisfied and disguisted, I walked away. I will continue to post more information about this if I have any, but right now I dont. RIP Pants...

John Freezeman is also in a coma from walking head-on into a signpost. But nobody cares about that Dummkopf.

[3kul]

Good God, is this what Blackstar has been reduced to?

[MDude]

It's probably due to it's benign uses such as "fire retardant" other things meaning to slow down. Any censor would either confuse such meanings or end up sounding like some other euphemism for mental slowness. While I would argue that in the right context, outlandish use of arbitrary derogatory terms can be used without issue, the personal nature of this particular insult and the already-stated administrative stance lead me to believe this is not such a context at all.

Aside from that, however, I would like to take the opportunity to give give some advice on dark humor in general. The first post, while not nearly the pinnacle of hilarity, is not too bad an example of absurd humor. While I would disapprove of such posts in large quantity, a single thread like this is if anything a nice attempt at inciting activity in a slow moving forum. The non sequiturs, cultural references, nonsensical subject of "dead pants" all work together to form a veritable finger painting of amusement.

The continuation actually starts of rather strong, with it's contradictory reference to Pants as an individual rather than a collective. The next paragraphs, however, move away from the purely zany and into a more mock-serious style, which tends to take a lot more subtlety to pull off, especially if the butt of the joke isn't yourself. Officer Sunny falls somewhat flat in my opinion, but thinking about it further it isn't too bad of a joke. I actually think in this case, it would have made the joke a lot better if you used Addman's character as the corrupt police officer. It's more of a running gag kind of joke that would benefit from the familiarity of him, it fits his character perfectly, and as the master of ego scripts I'm sure wouldn't mind using him for a quick laugh.

Back to the final joke with Freezeman, despite my prior statement that I doubt you actually meant any harm, I think your choice of words were possibly the worst you could have chosen without going out of your way to do so. Calling him a goofball, loser, blockhead, nuisance, inept hooligan, just using idiot again, or several other options would have all been less likely to strike a nerve. More interesting from my perspective, however, is that I think the joke works better without calling him anything. Just saying "no one cares about him." makes it personal to that character, while giving the impression of a world that irrationally scorns him above and beyond what his unique Frezzmanish faults have earned.

In conclusion, I hope my rant on humor theory wasn't too long, academic, or presumptuous for anyone. For you information, I spent several ours mulling over what to write, more than usual even, and am starting to have trouble even just standing up without wobbling it's so late. To end this post with a trio of tips: Know your audience, know what impression you're trying to create, and use those two bits of knowledge to make sure you don't end up way off target.

In double conclusion, IT'S EITHER CHEESE OR IT'S A CREAM THERE'S NOTHING THAT IS IN-BETWEEN! PIE-LIIIIIGHT! I only meant to bake a while! Pie-light! but I gave you time, to peel my rind, AWAY FROM MEEEEE!

[Somefreakoverthere]

The Aperture Science Center promises to always offer safe testing environments. In dangerous testing environments, the Aperture Science Center promises to offer helpful advice.

For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

2+2 equals *static* 10. In base 4, I'm fiIINne!

[Cirrial]

[Shaon]

[drlupinmario]

As if it wasnt obvious, Shaon. But what can I say? I needed to post something to put in a spark on this place of inactivity. Unfortunetly, I should have been a bit more sensitive, And as such, I edited the offensive paragraph.

Mdude, your post was helpfull as it was informative. Again, I hail from the dark side of the interwebs known as the 'Chans where various forms of idiocy meet. I wont give examples but... yeah.

[Shaon]

Shitposts aren't gonna spark more life. They're going to spark people silently going "dear god, what has my once-lovely home become" and leaving. Perhaps not using "oh deary me, I am a /b/tard, my life is so difficult" as an excuse and taking the obviously incredibly well used time out of your day to try to improve the quality of your posts would spark some life into this forum.

Using "lol 4chan" as an excuse is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Shitposters like you aren't accepted there, either. Ever heard of "the cancer that's killing /b/"? That's you. You are the person who mindlessly perpetrates jokes long after they become funny. You are the person who refuses to do anything original with your life, puzzlingly content with just being another of the flood of uninteresting 14-year-olds that plague the internet in this day and age. So many "'channers" create amazing things. Why can't you? Why have you settled upon just using your "point of origin" as an excuse instead of an inspiration?

[drlupinmario]

You wanna know why, Shaon? You really want to know why?

Its because, In the very politest terms I can think of, I dont like you.

Furthermore, Said posts (Gee, I didnt know you could get away with the S-Word here...) ARE increasing the traffic here. Just look at this thread.

And I am going to stop there before I go all-and-out flaming you.

Edit: Also, You gave a really bad example. That place is related to the Chan Community as Uncyclopedia. Because it isnt.

[Cirrial]

That's enough.

I'm intervening before either side of this argument decides to escalate this further.

Shaon, I'd question why you even let DLM get to you any more. Please tell me the reason you came back (however briefly) in the first place wasn't just to chew DLM out some more. I know you hate DLM, but you only encourage him by responding with such vitriol.

DLM, this is not the place to boast of being an imageboard regular. You act as if no-one here knows what they are. I do. More people are aware and visit imageboards than you may think - this is the entire point. They're based on anonymity. The only people who ever boast of belonging to an imageboard are the very same those who frequent said imageboards would rather do without.

And again, directed towards you, DLM, I know you hate Shaon, but you only encourage her by responding to her vitriol. I'm taking no sides here.

This thread was a harmless diversion with no purpose. It's becoming an escalating argument with no purpose. Therefore, I'm locking this thread. It proved its point and it doesn't need to start dragging everyone into a flame war.