Colony in the Northern Regions!

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

Here's the deal. Your a person who has decided to make a colony in order to expand your borders.

There will be major problems, with weather, wars, and weird stuff.

The question is... ARE YOU GAME?

Fort · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 4:13 am Post subject:

I am a game!

*Fort moved his coloney to the edge of some woods, it was blistery cold there and everyone was wrapped up warm.*
Colony: At last! Trees! Now we can start making houses to expand our towns!
Fort: Eh, what? No we're not! How dare you! We shall LIVE in the trees!
Colony: Bu-
Fort: No buts! Hollow out the trees you miserable peasnts!

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:23 am Post subject:

*Net's colony was the world's most uncivilized. In fact, they hadn't even discovered hunting yet, and spent most of their time eating TV dinners and watching cable TV from within their catacombs under the earth. But when they found out that someone had plonked a colony on top of them, and that they were even trying to live in the tribe's prized carrot trees, they immediatly donned their Battle Mechs (Special thanks to Ebay for their support during this imporant time in my tribe's history) and went outside into the cold dark forest.*

Fort · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:49 am Post subject:

*Fort sat in his hollowed out tree, watching the bridges between the trees unfurl.*
Fort: The dwarves laughed at me...but who's laughing now?! MWAHAHAHA!
Colony member: Sir?
Fort: What? This better be good disturbing my evil laughter.
Cm: Well sir, there seems to be an army moving this way...in moving statues, Sir.
Fort: Moving statues? No doubt E-Bay had some part to play in this...Get me my spears!
Cm: But sir we all have sawed of shotguns and particle blasters...
Fort: Don't mock my intelligence! Mechs can only be taken down by rocks, spears and rolled up pieces of paper! To the battle lines!
*Fort's colony immediatley stoped what they were doing, and lined up in front of their homes, spears and rolled up "Heat" magazines at the ready.*

3kul · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 5:50 am Post subject:

((Just RPing as myself here, no HE or LS))

*3kul approaches one of his villagers*
3kul: So, how goes the construction of our village?
Villager: It's coming along well sir, but it's just that... well, some of the villagers are expressing doubts about the structural integrity of our buildings...
3kul: What? How absurd. Nothing is stronger than sturdy snow! *leans against the wall of a nearby wall, which promptly collapses*
Villager: ARGH!
3kul: This is quite obviously the work of a gypsy curse... What building was that?
Villager: T-that was the treasury... all of our money...
3kul: Well, at least snow is easy to dig through, let's get that money and keep it elsewhere for now...
Villager: That would be easy if you hadn't decided that our currency would be ice so that you could boast that your village is the richest one out there...
3kul: I said that? It sounds very stupid, just imagine the problems it would cause... such as mass inflation! Everyone, from now on, pine cones are currency! *everyone begins to complain* Don't act like that! It's to save our economy! *villagers start to mumble something like 'that's reasonable enough' and gather up pinecones from nearby trees*
Villager: This is stupid, I'm revolting and forming a new society.
3kul: Ha! You won't get anywhere without pinecones! Precious, precious pinecones... *begins hording pinecones*

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 6:41 am Post subject:

MechWarrior: AIEEE! She canno' take it much longer cap'n! She's gunna blow!

*One by one, the Mechs explode. But for every one that exploded it seemed that two more would appear. The invaders were gunna need something bigger. Like slingshots, or a few Times magazines for example.*

Fort · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 11:52 am Post subject:

*Fort sat on a tree stump, browsing through a smutty magazine.*
Fort: Three hours? Not likely! Wallpaper decoration these days...
Cm: SIR! WE'RE BEEN OVER RUN!
Fort: Only bring me good news....
Cm: BUT-!
Fort: No buts...get me something decent, how are my shares in the first Harry Potter book?
Cm: Dreadfull sir...
Fort: Tsk...that was your pension...
Cm: WHAT?!
Fort: Don't worry, I don't expect many of you to survive to a pensionable age in this frozen tundra...
Cm: SIR! We need to retreat!
Fort: Hmm...why?
Cm: A-
Fort: But keep in mind you must bring me good news.
Cm: ....
Fort: That bad 'eh?
*Charred corpse flies overhead.*
Fort: In which case bring out THE Ewoks!
*A large cage is opened and the Ewoks are thrown out a window.*
Fort: Do you know what Ewoks need? Wings...to stop them hitting the ground so fast...awww...look at the little crippled teddy bears trying to get up...
Cm: They look angry at you, Sir.
Fort: Nonsense I-ARGGHHhhhH!
*Injured Ewoks pile on top of Fort.*
In between Fort's muffled screams: Fire THE BIG ONE at them!
*The colony immediatly bring out a very large gun.*

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

Lord Speedblader's colony was doing great.

"These are the best houses yet sir! Keep it up!"

Mainly because Speeder was doing most of the work...

GBE · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 3:03 pm Post subject:

Drone wasn't normally one for cold areas, but the new bear fur coat she was donning was incredibly warm. Her armies were wearing weevil fur coats, also quite snug and warm.

Here, there seemed to be an untapped amount of tree sap and flowers for her colony to survive. Upon hearing screaming Ewoks from a distance away, she disbanded a small troop of normal wasps to invetigate the happenings.

One of her more intelligent offspring approaches 3kul's village, and lands in what appears to be a village of ice and snow, and random pinecone collecting, "Who izzzzzz in charge here?"

3kul · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 3:39 pm Post subject:

3kul: That would be Douglas (the villager 3kul was talking to earlier), since I've collected enough pinecones to buy me a ticket out of this frozen wasteland of a town!
Skidoo Salesman: Excellent decision sir, truly we are the ice-crudbucket of this nation. Now, please pay me so that you may be on your way.
*3kul showers the salesman in pinecones*
3kul: Truly you are the most trustworthy man in this village Dishonest Johnny. I have no idea how you earned that horrible nickname, but I will assume you had cruel parents because I don't really care to find out the real reason. Off I go! *motors away to find a more successful colony*
Douglas: Um... I guess I would be in charge now.

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:42 pm Post subject:

*The villagers stare at the 'big one'. One of them issues a few commands into his headset, and their biggest, oldest weapon is revealed: A fusion-powered plasma laser cannon on the far side of the moon. How primitive.*

Villager: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! FEAR THE 'LASER'! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scientist: Umm... Well, the moon is sorta facing the wrong way for the laser to work...
Villager: When will it be facing the right way then?!
Scientist: Err... Never... Sir...
Villager: God damn Borg salesmen again. I should've realised when they tried to assimilate me the first time...

Vromoth · Red Belt Old Friend Evil Council Member Posts: 137

Tribe man: Sir this setup place is to cold
Vromoth: So?
Tm: Well we need to move
Vromoth: But I like this place, it has a great view
Tm: It also has lots of bears and is really cold the dogs are dieing
Vromoth: If we must. To better land!
The tribe called Rannok packed up and started to move out.
Vromoth: It was a pity having to move, a great view
Tm: yes sir
Vromoth: So hows the weapons?
Tm: Not good um........ We had to......... um........... Use them for the, um.................... Fire
Vromoth: What?!
Tm: I told you it was cold
Vromoth: Grrrrrrr........
Other Tm chimed in eagerly: I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to sir
Vromoth nocked him unconscious with a swipe of his tale: DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t ever, try and get on my good side.

Speeder · Red Belt Old Friend A2K Member Posts: 280

After most of the huts had been built, Speeder called it a day. The next day, he went hunting.

"Here's my catch!" Said Speeder as he lifted about fifty deer up onto a table. "So, how much did you all catch?"

"Err, we did'nt GO hunting, sire." "WHAT?! TOMORROW YOU CAN ALL DO DOUBLE SHIFTS, AND I WILL TAKE A DAY OFF!" "Yes sir..."

Fort · Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 3:33 am Post subject:

*Fort moved over to THE BIG ONE and put it on.*
Fort: Now Hat...I don't like you, and you don't like me, but we need to work together to survive this.
Hat: GRIFFINDOR!!
Fort: No no...I need you to use one of your Voodoo curses to-
Hat: SLYTHERIN!
Fort: Oh screw it...Everyone! Get ropes and tie it round the Mech's feet!
*The colony take ropes out of the store, and quickly try to run round the Mech Warrior's legs.*
Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!
Fort: Bloody Borg Salesmen...

LordPsycho · Posted: Mon May 01, 2006 6:11 am Post subject:

*Somewhere in the middle of the wilderness, a Borg Salesman shifts into the form of The Sensei, who laughs maniacly while counting his Yen

/Pinecones for a second before shifting back into the Borg Salesman and going to find the next sucker...um, customer.*

((Yes, DP isn't evil anymore, but it doesn't mean he isn't a prankster))