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Panther385
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 Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:59 pm Post subject: Badfic Quotes |
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Ah, yes. Badfics: Absolutely terrible fanfictions. Most involving Harry Potter.
The points of the game is to scour around his hilarious quotes and post them here. This entry of Zarla's has a bunch of them, and if you look in her other entries, there are links to Badfic groups. Hohoho.
Note that this stuff is PG-13 and sometimes higher. I won't post really mature ones 'cause they'll SCAR YOUR EYES with the... lame sex? 
Anyway, here are some really good ones.
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| Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically. The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue. Goku reeled in horror. Hitler continued laughing, then finally said “Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!†Hitler had become a Super Saiyan. |
SUPER SAIYAN HITLER OH GOD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *wipes tear from eye*
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| They all rushed towards Legolas who was lying still on the floor, his throat slashed open and his blood poured freely. “No! Legolas, you stupid fool! That was not your brightest idea! Hang on, damn it! Just hang on!†Keldarion cried out, holding his hand over his brother’s bleeding neck. Thranduil was crying helplessly, brushing his son’s hair in sorrow. |
Well when you get your throat cut, you're DEAD, you fool. Shows how smart LOTR characters are... >_>;
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Energy lashed out and both Batman and his partner were now naked. Their already large breasts balloned to mammoth degrees, restricting their movement with the strange weight.
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BATMAN WHAT?!
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Kayla Griffin, as she was known by her friends, was the sole granddaughter and living relative of J.R.R. Tolkien. Due to a some glitch or other that ran in her family, her grandfather was not related to her other family members, but only to her. It turned out that the glitch skipped random generations, but hadn’t happened for many years, until Kayla was born. Kayla pondered her alias for a moment, and thought how the name “Kayla†could be derived from her real name, Airabeth Yessa Tolkien. She thought about how her last name had been changed on her birth certificate because of her strange family tree, and how upset her family had been.
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Anyone have a spare science book handy? This author needs to learn PROPER DAMN genetics.
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| She was a second from her other brother’s room WHEN SHE HEARD A BLOOD PIERCING SCREAM!!!!!!! |
xDDDDDD
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"You think they love you and then... they turn AGAINST you!" screamed Trowa, and laid his head on the wooden table, weeping quietly. "You can't trust ANYONE at ALL!"
"Shh... Shh, Trowa, daijoubu. Maybe you weren't meant to be together," consoled Catherine. Trowa shook his head bitterly and looked up at Catherine with desolate, mournful eyes.
"IIE! There will never be anyone for me but Quatre! No one but him..." sobbed Trowa again, and buried his head in Catherine's shoulder.
"Daijoubu, Trowa. Don't worry. I'll be here for you, no matter what," replied Catherine, patting Trowa on the head. The boy's reply was a muffled sob; then Trowa stood up and gave a small smile. Catherine patted Trowa's arm then stood up.
"If you ever need to find me, you know where I'll be," said the woman. Trowa nodded meekly, tears still streaming down his narrow face.
"Hai, Catherine-chan ." Catherine gave another smile and watched Trowa walk out of the tent and into the nightfall. His sobs echoed into the night, leaving Catherine pitying Trowa's heartache. |
....Since when were the Harry Potter characters Japanese? o_o
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Dear Harry James Evans Potter Gryffindor Merlin Pendragon,
I’m please to inform you that you are the HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. King Arthur is my father and was the original half-blood king. This ring was his, and the last wearer was James Harry Potter Gryffindor Merlin Pendragon, your father. Also we are elementals.
The original HBP,
Godric Gryffindor |
"Also you are stupid."
Sincerely,
YOUR MOM.
That's the jist. It's Badfic hunting season! 
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addman
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| Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:52 am Post subject: |
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Ahhhhhahahahaaa, Hitler vs Goku!? What next? Mussolini vs Superman? Scooby Doo vs Saddam Hussain? Little Red Riding Hood vs The Fantastic Four? Nothing I can think can top the sheer nonsensical hilarity of Hitler vs Goku. I'd love to read more of that matchup, can you give me a link?
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Panther385
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| Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:34 am Post subject: |
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What the? O_O.
I'm so tempted to go hunt down that religious Zelda fic.
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| "The Goddesses are a perversion of the Holy Trinity by the devil, and Hyrule is a place the devil made" |
Yeah... Riiiiiiight... It's a game, get over it. :S
You know what the most disappointing thing was? The person that wrote this was a really good writer, it's just that kind of thing that completely spoiled it.
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Fort
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| Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:40 am Post subject: |
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Kirk grabbed onto Spock's throbbing Vulcanhood.
"Do the logical thing, Captain." |
Delete if this isn't seen as appropriate
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| Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 5:00 am Post subject: |
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I saw this and thought of you. ((Link contains some swearing and bad language from replies and commenters.))
Here are some excerpts from the story:
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| After I regained my vision, I realized that this was Vin Diesel, a man worthy of a good fight. I had to act quickly, because he was already running towards me, I had no time to think, and I brandished the only weapon I had. My fists. |
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| As I kept Vin Diesel busy, Sean Paul drove into my living room and got out of his escalade, he grabbed a microphone and started to speak the incomprehensive babble that he speaks, and it made Vin Diesels ears bleed. He clutched his ears and fell to the ground. Now was my chance! |
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Vin Diesel had been defeated, and all thanks to my rich Uncle Pennybags.
"Hey uncle, want to play a round of Monopoly?"
"Sure!"
We played Monopoly into the long hours of the night, and at about 4AM I landed on his hotel on Park Place, cursed him out, and threw the board against the wall!
"YOU SUCK, THE BANKER ALWAYS CHEATS, WHERE DID THOSE ONE HUNDREDS COME FROM!"
The End |
Note that the replies in that thread are fifty thousand times funnier than the actual story. Also, there is a lot of bad language in the replies so read with caution. Even so, this is literally the WORST piece of fiction I've ever read, but it was so worth it for the scathing replies it got.
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I like big cookies and I cannot lie,
You other muppets can't deny,
When a girl walks in with a biscuit tin,
And a cookie in your face you get...hungry!
I has me a blog |
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HisLordship
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KC11
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| Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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I couldn't help but post this from that list of bad fanfic quotes:
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| Then Maggie pointed her wand at Voldemort, and said the “Deathkillro†spell, and then Voldemort died. |
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Maraha
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| Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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*Cough* Peter Chimaera made the best Gundam Wing fanfic, EVER.
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Heero was having rough day at school and his muffin for lunch did not taste the good. "No I am uhngry and this is not good" and threw the muffin and hit a guy.
"Hey the " guy said. It was having bad day. |
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HAHAHAHAHA" said Zechs who was waiting there for him "I have returned and I will kill the erath with gundam powar!"
They fought and Heero won. But Zechs detonatationed his gundam and the north pole blew up.
"No!!!!!!!!!!!!" Heero was mad at all the penguins die. |
I don't know if this is the stuff people want here, but I just HAD to post it. I'm... I'm so sorry... *Cries*
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Mitsukai
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| Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 12:05 am Post subject: |
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| Lucius smirked and shook his old friend's hand. Severus Snape always looked the same. His hair, however, had tinges of gray in it as he aged, and his wardrobe was finally looking new. It was still a set of black robes, but they were in much better condition then what he was used too back when he was the Potions Master at Hogwarts. Since Severus had been the killer of Dumbledore, it was only natural he was given the spoils of war before the rest of the Death Eaters. His spoils included a large house in the country, enough gold in his bank account at Gringotts to feed a small country, and a lovely young witch named Ginny Weasley for a wife. |
^Oh my... what next? Voldemort and Hermione? *shudders*
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