Kill Bill 15: Kill Fort

[LordPsycho]

Addman has long enjoyed his monopoly on the murder of Fort market, but little does he know that it's about to come all crumbling down.

All over the Dojo, posters are being put up. They all have two things, a Picture of Fort, and some words saying "Forticus Must Die"

So, who will take up the call and Kill Fort!

[Fort]

*Fort stood there staring at one of the many posters.*
Fort: So...not only am I wanted...for...no wait, I'm not wanted for anything, I just have to die.
*Fort rubs his forhead.*
Fort: What's it for now? Is it my Gerbil Farm? Is it my rampant cruelty for orphans? Is it the fact this yellow Jumpsuit cling to my skin in an interesting and almost preverse manner?
*Fort stares at his new and brightly coloured wardrobe.*
Fort: It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!
*Suddenly a small voice at the back of Fort's head, known as Common Sense, spoke out.*
Common Sense: Perhaps you should stop oggling at yourself and hide somewhere before they find you?
*Fort spun round, saw a handily placed Garbage dumpster, and hid behind that.*
Common Sense: Right, now assess your situation, what can you do with it? Can you appeal to DP, may-Fort? FORT?! Are you listening to me? Stop staring at your rump!
Fort: It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!

[Jent]

*Venom blade in his usual attire. He snatched a wanted poster off the wall of a gun shop. Reading it thoroughly, VB did a demonic smile. Retrieving his phone out of his pocket, he dials the number. While it was still ringing, VB change his vocal cords so they won't recognize him.*

"I read your wanted poster for Fort. I would bring him to you, dead or alive. What's the pay?"

[LordPsycho]

"A Stick of Pocky" a Husky Gargoylian voice responded.

"And I want him dead. And you get any bloodstains on my Oyer plushie he has, and the deal is Forfiet.

[Jent]

"Got. And don't worry, I dealt with EC members before."

*Venom Blade placed the phone back in his pocket. Vb walks into the Gun Shop, ordering some deadly weapons.*

Shop Owner: What do you want to buy?
Venom Blade: One high powered shot gun, two multi-pistols, two heavy machine guns, and the spike cannon.
Shop Owner: That's 999,999,999,999 in yen.
Venom Blade: Don't you know me?

*VB takes off his sun glasses, reveling a demonic eye striking terror is the Shop owner.*

Shop Owner: I-i-its you v-v-ven-venom bla- blade... on your account?
Venom Blade: Yes.

*The shop owner gave VB the weapons and headed to the back room. Venom Blade shoved all of his new weapon in his bite bag, but the multi-pistols. Walking back out, he smell something odd.*

"Reindeer. This isn't the tundra." *He pauses for a moment and shouts.* "TU TUS FOR MEN ARE SILLLY! ONLY A IDIOT WOULD DO THAT!!!!!."

[addman]

*Addman was walking along when suddenly a poster caught his eye*

"What? Someone's put a hit out on Fort? COOL!"

*He then noticed a line of small print at the bottom of the poster which took Addman a few seconds to get his googly eye still enough to even comprehend it. After a few moments, he realised the line read:*

The offer is open to anyone except Addman, because we all know that he's been trying to do that for about a year and has failed at every attempt. What a loser

"Loser? LOSER?! I'll show them! First, I'll save Fort, then they'll all be like 'Oh Addman, we're sorry we ever doubted you, you certainly showed us! Let's all shower you with praise, money, glory and bikini babes!'. Then once they're busy loving me, I'll kill Fort and get the ransom money! Heh heh heh, this plan is even more cunning than the time I hid in the ceiling for three days. I almost starved and became massively dehydrated, but it was so worth it"

*And with that, Addman ran off to find Fort, leaving a rather puzzled bystander behind who seemed to be trying to digest the previous rant.*

[KC11]

(I wonder, would it be considered a bit to much of reviving if I were to RP here)

[Maraha]

(I hope I'm not reviving it again, but this RP sounds hilarious. Why'd it die?)