Um... Hi?

[Fort]

*A small figure in the corner remains there motionless*
*A small tape recored kicks up*
Hello! This is Fort's automated message service! If you are hearing this his cerbulum has exploded for one or more of the following reasons:
1. People are talking too fast.
2. People are saying too much.
3. An Igor and/or a flesh eating Unicorn have implanted C4 into my brain.
4. Someone has used one or more coplicated word(s) in my presense.
If you are a new member please select one, if you are a leaving member please select 2, if you have just insulted me please select 3, if I have been complemented please select 4.

...you have selected 1.

*Cough*
Hello New Member! It is nice to see you and your (insert character profile here), take this (Insert something worthless yet fancy here) as a sign of freindship between us!

[Kat_05]

Is it to late to welcome you? At any rate, glad to have you here, and I'll pay you hansomely for that flying lemur