After frequent urgings...

[FritoBandito]

Well, as it is bandito, it would seem I'm a boy. Unless, it's like the reverse of el problema, in which case it could be possible I'm a girl. But those are very rare. However, I'll let you decide. I'm sure you can figure it out with a little bit of spanish background

Anyways, I'm gonna start working on my character sheet in a few minutes. Two friends and I are making a computer (hopefully) for a project at school. We're taking the shell of an emac and making a pc inside it.

So much extra space

Anyways, it will hopefully be up pretty soon, and my role playing will commence

[Ashen Rain]

Yes... That's right, Frito. Make your character.

And then, from you I shall churn out roles plays! Role plays, I say! And when it comes down to the point that you can no longer type, I shalt rub you face in the keyboard! Then, all of your role plays shall become this...

Frito: cvgtfqabhfvt67yhgtvg ncg4etedgcv g v5tedgvcvcg47gvn cg vc
Random forum goer 1: What's that?
Frito: edw;uok5234uyhkmhgfe367yhridgbhzdgtg6gn cbd35t byh5r
RFG2: Dude, is he power playing?!
Frito: tedhb vtfhb de
RFG3: KILL HIM!
RFG2: No punctuation either!


And then... Down from the depths, the nitpicker shall rise, roaring his tell tale 'SKREEE!', and with his tweaser like, nitpicking fingers, he shall pluck you up from your computer chair, and drag you back into the abyss of the world...

Then, only then shall I become the RULER OF ALL!

RFG1: What? That makes no sense.
Ashen: ... Yes it does! It makes perfect sense!
RFG2: No, it really doesn't. See, how does destroying the life of an innocent person make you ruler of all?
Ashen: ... Isn't that how they all do it?
RFG3: Well, yes, eventually. But usually they set up the innocent person first- you know, make them look bad. That way, when they're sent to the abyss, you can say that you had a hand in that and people would cherish you as a hero.
Ashen: But not Ruler of All?
RFG2: No. You have to do a lot more to get to that position.
Ashen: Cripes! That's too much work. That's it. I give up.


(In other words, Frito... Make your character in your own time. Take as long as you want, and make it good. That way you're playing at your best when the time comes. ^^)

[addman]

Addman: Welcome to the world of Ego Scripts...

*puts a bag over Ashen's head and drags her away to a secret room, where the bag is removed*

Ashen: W-Where am I?
Addman: This is The Guild Of The Ego Scripters, our secret layer.
Ashen: Don't you mean "lair"?
Addman: No, layer. You're currently standing on a thin layer of jello....Net! Stop eating the floor!
Net: Shhorry. But ish sho goood.
Ashen: He sounds funny with his mouth full.
Net: Giggishty!
Addman: Anyway, let me introduce you to our members, this is Brother Net, and here is Brother Cloud.
Cloud: Yo! Don't know why I said that...a bit random today.
Addman: Yes, yes you are. And over here is Brother 3kul.
3kul: Oh god, it's her who gives me the cutey nicknames! I'd say hi, but I'm too busy flexing my biceps and being all manly.
Addman: And over in the corner looking grumpy is Brother Fort.
Fort: I started this fad, I'M THE LEADER! ME!
Ashen: And what do you want with me?
Addman: We'd like you to be the first female member of our society.
Fort: Yeah! Sisters are doing for themselves!
Addman: Fort, you don't count. Now take that stupid tutu off.
Fort: Sometimes the old ones are the best...
Addman: Now, Ashen, if you'll just sign this contract you can join our secret club.
Ashen: Sounds good, let me see.....hold on.
Net: Is there...is there a problem?
Ashen: Apparently, there's a clause which states that I have to be the "Club Concubine".
Addman: Hmm you're right. It's handwritten too. The writing is familiar.
Net: I...I wonder who that could have been....must have been that dastardly Ghost-Who-Writes-Sexual-Clauses-Into-Contracts again!
Addman: Don't worry, we'll get you a new one.
Net: DAMN!
Fort: BLAST!
Cloud: SMEG!
3kul: I don't even know why I'm here!

*they all storm out of the room, leaving Addman and Ashen*

Addman: Excuse them. Y'know, I think this is the first ego script in which I've appeared to be the normal one!
Ashen: Then why are you wearing rainbow suspenders?
Addman: Curse you fate!

[Ashen Rain]

Ashen: You know what... lemme see that contract again.
Addman: Why? *hands over the paper* Trying to find finger prints? Ghosts don't have finger prints you know...
Ashen: Nah, I think I'm going to go ahead and sign it.
Net/Cloud/Fort: *A crash is heard, and all three of them fall through the door, before saying in unison* She's signing it?!
Addman: Apparently s- Where's 3kul?
Cloud: We trampled him on our way running ba-
Net: NOTHING! HE'S FINE! SIGN THE PAPER!
Fort: He was only flexing any way...
Ashen: *Reads over it again, nods, and scribbles on the paper* Done.
Net: *Snatches it from her hands* IT'S TRUE! SHE DID! SHE ACTUALLY DID IT! G-FREAKING-IGGITY!
Cloud: *Grabs the paper, and reads it* This rocks!
Fort: *Looks at the paper, then winks at Ashen* I'll see you tonight. Bring my tutu, if you know what I mean...
3kul: *crawls up to the door, mangled terribly, and with a trail of blood behind him* Oh... Oh God thank you... Beyond that door, my friends wait... They'll help me... they'll...
Net/Fort/Cloud: *Net opens the door, and all three of them exit out grinning like mad men- while walking all over 3kul in the process. Cloud tosses the contract behind him, and it flutters down to land on 3kul's head*
Addman: *Walks over and leans down of 3kul*
3kul: Add... man... *weakly hold up his hand*
Addman: *Picks up the paper, and shuts the door on 3kul's fingers* So you really signed it huh?
Ashen: *Grins* Yup.
Addman: You crossed out the clause, didn't you?
Ashen: No, of course not.
Addman: Hmm... Then why does it say, 'Ashen will go to the rooms of Net, Cloud, and Fort late in the night in somewhat alluring outfits, then lead them to a seperate room where she forces them to become concubines for each other.' now?
Ashen: No idea. Darn that sexual-clause-writing-ghost. Darn him to heck. *Gets up, and picks up Fort's discarded tutu* I'll need this tonight. *heads out the door, where a crunching noise and a groan from 3kul are heard*
Addman: *Sniffles, and wipes a tear from his eye* She'll do just fine here. She'll do just fine...

[Netdroid9]

*Later that night.*

Net: Oh yoowhoo, Ashen..! Me and my belt of gender-changing wanna have some fun!
Net2: Why do I always have to carry the camera?

*Net and Net2 walks in on Cloud and Fort.*

Net2: ...Oh. Oh god.
Ashen: Just get in the orgy.
Net2: You don't have to tell me twice.
Ashen: You too Net.
Net: 0.0 *Dons belt of Gender-changing.* But I'm not Net, I'm Netta! Never heard of no Net! Honest! <.< >.>

[FritoBandito]

Frito: *comes out of the closet (No, not THAT closet)* Oh, hey Netta. I got your RSVP in the mail last night. So good of you to come. The hot tub is in the back, and pepto bismol is already heating up.
Ashen: Yeah, it took a while to empty out all those bottles, but I think it'll pay off in the end.
Addman: *comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist and pink goo dripping off his fur* And boy, was it worth it! It does wonders for your hair!
Frito: I can tell. It added a very nice sheen!

[3kul]

*meanwhile, squished 3kul has become the rug in the Ego Scripters secret layer*

This would be a pretty sweet gig if I didn't keep sinking in all of this jelly...

Anyways, welcome to you FritoBandito. It's rare that I ever make my way over to the Greetings section these days, mainly because blurbleurbleurbleurble... *sinks in the jelly*

Jelly: One down, several more to go! MWAHAHAHA!

[Netdroid9]

The funny thing is, that's not jelly.

***

Net: Hmm... Well, I've always wondered what it'd be like to have a man inside me, OK.

[Panther385]

*blasts through the wall*

Wherever there are Sexual Innuendos, I shall be there! Wherever there are orgies and hot mansex, I shall be there! I am...

*dons latex clothes and cape*

SMUT-WOMAN! Protector of all that is Giggity and Perverted!

I suggest you all sit in disturbing and yaoi-tastic positions so I may inconspicuously take your pictures.

Oh, and hi there, Frito. I suggest you don't get on my bad side, I have knack for writing... fanfictions...

Wait, I write those if the person is my friend or not.

You probably shouldn't go near me at all, then. Go near the Wilds, where you can start roleplaying.

[addman]

Addman: My fur is sooo soft. Touch it!
Frito: Somehow, I find that invitation rather easy to NOT accept.
Ashen: Let smut-woman do it.
Panther: Hey, I may be depraved, but I still have standards.
Addman: Well, if you think Fort+Cloud=Hot Mansex, then they're very low standards.
Panther: THEY'RE STANDARDS ALL THE SAME!
Addman: Well, if none of you guys want to take advantage of my new silky fur, then I will!

*Addman walks over to th corner of the room and strokes his arm*

Addman: Ohhhhh, that's the ticket...
Frito:...This is all very strange for my first day. I think this is what you call a baptism of fire.
Ashen: Think yourself lucky, it used to be EC tradition to take the term "Baptism Of Fire" literally.
Frito: So that explains the disfiguring scar on Net's forehead.
Cloud: No, that was just from a childhood brawl with the toaster.
Net: So many innocent lives...
Cloud: His real baptism scar is across his buttocks.
Net: So many innocent buttocks...

*Addman walks back over and points to himself*

Addman: ...Last chance.
Fort: Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I'd rather touch stinging nettles that were grown in a patch of cow manure.
Cloud: I'd rather touch satan's posing pouch.
Frito: I'd rather touch a pirahna's gums with fish paste on my finger.
Ashen: I'd rather touch the big red button which detonates a nuclear bomb under my seat.
3kul: *gurgle*
Addman: Ouch, 3kul!
Net: Yeah, there's no need for that man!
Fort: Learn some respect 3kul!
Addman: Well that settles it, thanks to 3kul's scathing remarks, I'm going to kill myself! Goodbye suckers!

*Addman takes a bottle of pills off of a top shelf and begins guzzling them furiously*

Panther: Erm, Fort. Is it possible to kill yourself with worming tablets?
Fort: I don't know, but I don't think it's going to be nice finding out.
Addman: *not hearing the others* Mourners from all over the world will gather around, sobing and weeping for my death. All over the globe they'll say "Haven't you heard? Addman's dead! The People's Champion is dead!", but then one bystander shall proclaim "But how can he be dead if we still have our memories of him", and then one rather articulate child will say....

*Addman suddenly collapses mid-sentence*

Frito:...Well, what do we do now?
Cloud: Poke him with a stick?
Fort: Good idea!
3kul: *gurgle*
Net: Dammit 3kul, a man just died here!
Fort: That's it, I can't stand it anymore. Scoop 3kul up and throw in the bin until he cools down.
3kul: *gurgles*
Net: What did you say about my rubber duckie? That's it, you're going down the toilet!
3kul: *gurgle*

*several days later, Addman wakes up*

Addman: Oh my god, I'm worm free!

((Is there a medal for "Most Pointless Post"?))

[Raven]

Raven:*Sniff* I wish I could write funny ego scripts.
???:No you don't.
Raven:Who said that?
???: Me
Raven: Who's me?
???: You.
Raven: God, so now I'm schizophrenic?
???: Yes, yes you are.
Raven: Wait... are you the male me?
???: No. He doesn't exist anymore. You stole his sex drive, and he couldn't face life without it.
Raven: Then who are you?
???:Umm... your conscience?
Raven: Hah! Do you think I'm stupid? You have an English accent. My conscience has an American accent!
???: Damn, you got me there. I'm your....Common sense!
Raven: I killed that. If you're really a part of me you'd know I don't have any. At all.
???: Well then I'm your brain! Now get all the cookies you can find and leave them outside m- I mean Addman's room!
Raven: ....
Raven's Conscience: Don't do it! Get all your smut and put it in that box over there labeled "Panther's smut"
???: Giggity!
Raven: ... Addman, Net, Panther! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

*Raven wakes up from a chlorophyll induced sleep.*

Raven: Where...am I?
Cloud: You've been selected to be our non-member concubine.
Net: GIGGITY!
3Kul: *Gurgle*
Raven: Awh GOD! 3Kul! Have some decency, I mean I'm smutty, but that... GOD MAN!
Fort: *Fap fap*
Raven: Can I at least have my camera for this?
Net: You can copy my one.

*Bang, crash. Panther bursts through the door.*

Panther: SMUT TIME! *Hands out various objects to people.*
Net: I got hand cuffs!
Fort: I got whips and a tutu!
Addman: I got Viagra!
Raven: I got things I'm not going to mention!
Net: ... I got a pen.
Panther: Well I need SOMEONE to record this. And it's not like I'm just going to watch. That'd be a crime against nature.


(( Oh god, it's so bad! Someone, hit me with the comedy stick so I can at least create SOME laughs!))

[Ashen Rain]

~(No, but we should make one. I want to see how long we can keep this going for. >>)~

Addman: *Fawning over the fact that he is now totally worm free, Addman struts about, getting awed looks from the many Dojo goers* Yes yes, I'm here! I'm alive! And I'm worm free! Completely worm fr-
Ashen: *Comes around the corner in a thick, furry blue coat* Oh- Er. Addman. You're um... Alive?
Addman: ... Is that my fur?
Ashen: Well you see... it's... Um... Yes. Yes it is.
Addman: *Rushes to a near by mirror, and gapes* You didn't even want to touch it earlier!
Ashen: Actually, that was a week ago.
Addman: *Still gaping*
Ashen: See, after Cloud's suggestion, I got to poking you with a stick...
Addman: *Still gaping*
Ashen: And then... Well, then I just got my hands into it, and it felt... so... Good...
Addman: *Still gaping*
Net2: *Pops up from no where with a video camera* Don't worry buddy. I got it all on tape.
Ashen: I just had to have it. You understand.
Addman: *Still gaping*
Ashen: It accents my hair...
Addman: *Still gaping*
Ashen: And it makes my eyes just pop!
Addman: *Still gaping*
Ashen: Er... Panther took some of it and made a rug!
Addman: PANTHER!
Panther: I needed a new shag rug in my room for when Ashen comes over and brings Fort and Cloud!
Addman: *Looks ill* Oh lord... my poor fur... How could you?!
Panther: Well, Netta made a wig from it!
Addman: What?! Netta? What happened to Net?
Ashen: Well, Net couldn't figure out how to get the belt of gender changing off... And since we don't have any level nine spell casters here, he's stuck with it.
Addman: So... Net is a girl now?
Panther: Yup. And 3kul is the new garbage man.
Addman: What else have I missed?!
Ashen: Well, Netta and Frito got married.
Frito: *Walks down the hall, Frito carrying a feminine Net with a long blue wig on* Woo!
Netta: Yeah baby! Let's go back to our room for another romp on that blue rug that Panther made for us!
Addman: That's it! I want my fur back! Everyone give it back!

From all around the dojo, everyone leans out of windows or peeks out of alley ways. Even 3kul pops out of a dumpster wearing a stylish blue furry hat.

Addman: ... I didn't have that much fur, did I?
Ashen: Well, it did make up 113% of your body.
Addman: *Looks down at himself, and realizes that he's now tooth pick thin* Wow! How sexy I am!
Panther: ... He's not going to live long, is he?
Ashen: To tell you the truth, I think most of those worm pills fell out of his mouth, and the only reason why he's still alive is due to the fact that his body actually digested the worms.
Panther: That's freaky. How much longer do you think he has left to live?
Addman: WOO! I FEEL GREAT! I FEEL... Dizzy. Very dizzy. *falls over with a thunk*
Ashen: I'm going to go with 'not long'.
Addman: Ug... so... hungry...
Panther: ... Yeah... Meet me in my room with Fort and Cloud?
Ashen: See you there. Be sure to bring Fort's new blue tutu!

~(EDIT: Bah Raven posted before me =p)~

[Raven]

(( At least yours was funny, darling. I'm serious about that comedy stick! Hit me with it now! ))

[Ashen Rain]

Ashen: ... You really want me to hit you with it?
Raven: Yes! Hit me!
Ashen: With this stick?
Raven: Yes, that one specifically.
Ashen: The one that Net gave you?
Raven: Dear lord woman, yes!
Net: *Outside the door* Yes... yes...!
Ashen: Are you really sure?
Raven: Would you just do it already?!
Ashen: ... Fine. *takes the stick, and swings it, hitting Raven fairly hard in the face.* Uhm... Are you alright?
Raven: Unnnggh...
Ashen: I'll... take that as a no. *Looks at the stick* You know, it really looks like Net scribbled the word 'Comedy' on it.
Raven: Mrr..guh...
Ashen: What was that?
Raven: Mrr....Mrrr guh...
Ashen: You want me to beat up Net?
Net: ... Uh oh.
Raven: *gives a weak thumbs up*
Ashen: Well... Alright... But I want to be payed for this. Oh Neeeetttt!
Net: *Runs off down the hall* SHE'S COMING FOR ME!
Ashen: *Bursts through the door and follows after him* Come on! It'll only hurt for a little while! You'll heal, I swear!

[Cloud]

Cloud: I refuse to admit I did any of those actions with Fort!
Net: I have it on tape!
Ashen: I have it on memory.
Panther: I have it in a fan fic. I've sold quite a few copies actually.
Addman: Oh Fort, you naughty naughty demon. *Smiles longingly*
Cloud: I'm telling you THAT never happened.

*Fort comes in sporting a tutu*

Fort: Cloud, would you like to join me in this carefully placed closet for ...um...no reason at all.
Cloud: No, I'm currently busy *whispers* Meet me there at precisely 8:00pm tonight.
Fort: Oooh, I love it when you take on that bossy tone.
Ashen: Cloud and Fort sitting in a tree...
Cloud: Noooooo! My street cred is in ruins!
Raven: Actually, by my calculations your popularity has increased 1000% since this little scandal.
Cloud: How does that even work?
Raven: You underestimate just how unpopular you were, my friend.