Insanity Challenge

[Cloud]

Since there is nothing whatsoever in here I decided to take on the responsibility of taking on this cool challenge. Delete if this isn't what the challenge arena is used for.

I challenge someone to be more random/insane/crazy/wierd than me!

I dare you.

[Swix]

((This is the Challenge Arena, and this kind of thing is exactly what the Arena was created for. I have but one question: Will you and whoever decides to challenge decide a winner between yourselves, or do you want a judge? *Points at sticky* Currently only myself and GBE have volunteered to be judges))

[Cloud]

((A judge could work. It would be better in situations where no one dare give up. Also this is a challenge to anyone really. I think I'll set the scene.))

*Cloud was trapped. Somehow someone had captured him and he was now stuck on an aircraft of some kind flying over a certain arena. He threw a sausage at the pilot using his only free arm to procure the said product. The pilot was blinded as it was a special kind of sausage, an evil one! The craft went down. There weren't any parachutes to be seen so he held onto one of the doors and ejected it. Using it as a surfboard Cloud landed safely inside the arena, the craft crashed a few metres away.*

((If you want to join feel free to crashland in the arena in the craziest way you can think of, or you could just randomly pop up from behind a humorously shaped rock. ))

[addman]

((Is this just a one on one challenge? If so, prepare to be randomised ))

*Addman was riding a paralysed donkey*

MUSH! MUSH! We must reach the arena in time for the random fight!

*The Donkey began to drag its carcass across the rough desert terrain using only it's teeth, pulling Addman along the harsh, unforgiving landscape. Using a riding crop, the muppet began to beat the poor mule senseless for taking too long. Several days later, they eventually reach the tall, fortified portcullis of the Challenge Arena*

Hmm, we'll have to go over the top!

*Using his Scimitar, Addman gutted the donkey where it lay, and began to fashion a crude rotary propellor out of it's bone and sinew. He spent the rest of the day catching flying squirrels to sew together to make a hanglider. Once completed, he spun the donkey bone propellor thrice and used it to propell himself high enough to glide into the arena*

HELLO!

[Miyanokouji]

EvilMonkeyInc kicked the dachsund he'd previously been trying to ride on. The dachsund flipped over in an instant and died. Before long (roughly half a week) the dachsund had risen to about a foot. EvilMonkeyInc decided to take it out of the oven he was cooking it in and eat it. Little did he know that he had cooked it at well over 2000 degrees centigrade. As he chewed the first mouthful, his teeth began looking for an escape. Unfortunately teeth aren't really that good at monkey anatomy, so attempted to escape through the monkey's throat.

EvilMonkeyInc has rather tough back-of-throat-flesh, so rather than the teeth shooting out of the back of his throat, they caused him to fly through his kitchen window, upwards, and then straight down at high speed into the arena. Once he had landed on his back he coughed out his stomach, which managed to dislodge the roast dachsund and the highly energetic teeth. Before long he began cursing in his nonsensical French.

"AAAAAAH!!!!! JE NE SUIS PAS UN JEU-VIDEO!" ("AAAAAAH!!!!! I AM NOT A VIDEO GAME")

He stood up, picked up his stomach, threw it in Addman's general direction, and exclaimed further,

"Tu, mon cher femme, est une pomme!!" ("You, my dear woman, are an apple!!")

[3kul]

"BURRITOS! GET YOUR COOL MOIST BURRITOS!"

The burrito salesman had not been doing all that well today, perhaps the kids just didn't like burritos as much as they used to... He hoped things would pick up soon, or he'd have to sell another one of his children again. However, it would seem that fate has chosen to smile upon the poor salesman, a hungry looking travellor makes his way to the cart that he's wheeling.

"Good day to you sir, I am very hungry and would like to purchase 100-"

Before he could finish his sentance, a HIDEOUS ALIEN MONSTER burst out from the cart shrieking and swallowed the man whole. Needless to say, the vendor was totally freaked out by this. "Oh my God! That poor man... At least this wasn't like that Aliens movie where they come out from your- ARGHBLBLBLBL!"

Before the vendor could finish his sentance (good day to interrupt sentances, eh? ), 3kul burst out from his chest cavity. "Gross, this is the last time I take one of those package deals..." As the vendor collapsed in a pile of confused organs, 3kul noticed that he was not actually in the arena as he'd intended to be, but in the vast tulip fields of Holland amidst the Dutch windmills. Taking out his map, 3kul discovered that he had actually meant to take the $!.75 steak-flavoured coffee vendor man, and not the $2.56 burrito vendor man. "Oh, damn." He muttered to himself as the famous Dutch tulips got up and danced about for no apparent reason. "Dutch tulips, will you help me get to the arena?" 3kul asked the merry flowers. "We are sorry, we are Dutch flowers of Holland, we don't speak English. Try the windmills." "But... You just said-" "THE WINDMILLS!"

Now harbouring a deep seated hatred towards tulips and their dance styles, 3kul approaches a Dutch windmill for help. "Windmill, will you help me get to the arena?" "I will help you IF you can answer me these questions three. QUESTION 1! What is my name?" "Um... Your name is Windmill." "... You are a clever one, I'll have to up these a notch... QUESTION 2! What kind of building am I?" "Um... You're a windmill." "Curse your smarts! Very well then, now for the most difficult question of all! QUESTION 3! If a south easterly wind blows at 25 knots per hour for exactly 32 and a half minutes, followed by a-" "Is the answer to the question a windmill?" "... Actually, it is. I probably should have thought those through a little better." "Well, they say hindsight is 20-20, you know." "I suppose it would be, IF I HAD EYES!" "Oh, well, I have eyes. You're really missing out. I can see all kinds of neat things." "New rule! If you want my help, you must give me your eyes!" "No way, I already answered your questions! Take me to the arena!" "Very well... WINDMILL AWAY!"

The windmill promptly burrows underground, making a nice tunnel for 3kul to walk through to the arena. Somehow, the windmill's digging also involves laying carpets and the occassional TV for him to watch, so that 3kul's feet do not get tired or bored. Also, the windmill is able to dig through time and space to somehow allow 3kul to end up in the arena just in time. "I'll be watching in the stands!" Shouted the windmill as it waved goodbye to 3kul. "I thought you didn't have eyes!" "I don't, what am I watching again?" "Uh... Swimsuit contest for windmills." "Oh, hot. Thanks for bringing me, man. You can have this moist burrito I bought off the weird vendor guy from earlier in your post." "Um... Thanks, I suppose."

Refreshingly cool burrito in hand, 3kul enters the challenge arena, ready to use as many of his stolen jokes as he can to win this swimsuit contest... Or whatever it was he was entering again.

[Panther385]

((ROLF 3kul! ))


Panther came charging in on a... piece of flying buttered toast? She patted teh winged breakfast food as it flew around- and evenutally landed in -the arena. The toast promtply exploded on landing, leaving the shapeshifter steedless and covered in bits of burnt bread. She whipped out a fencing sword and yelled, "Woe upon thou who hast killed my cousin, Mr Burrito Vender Man! I challenge..eth... NEVERMIND JUST FIGHT ME SOMEONE!" She weaved patterns in the air with her sword, then lost grip and sent it flying into the stands.

"OW! MY SPLEEN!"

"Sorry!" Panther called to whoever just got stabbed by the fencing equiptment. She assumed a chesy kung-fu postion and glared at the people in the arena.

[GBE]

((Good going guys, the competition is tough, but I'm watching all the way. I don't know if you guys want judging by points, or to be just told. I don't even know how long you intend to take to kill one another through humour alone...

But I'm watching none-the-less... Oh, random challenge for this insane thread, first one to manage to factor in Trevor Nelson somehow, will win a bonus of fifty, that's right 50! points!

GBE))

[Miyanokouji]

The monkey turned to face Panther.
"AIIIEEEEEE!!!! Un ...Merde, quel est le mot? Ca n'a pas d'importance! Je mettrai mon sabre dans ton cœur!" (AIIIEEEEEE!!!! A ...S**t, what's the word? It's not important! I shall put my sword through your heart!)

The monkey began skateboarding on a rifle towards Panther.

"Prépare mourir!" (Prepare to die!)

The monkey wielded a second rifle as a sword, and continued sliding towards Panther.

[Somefreakoverthere]

Banshhe&Alexis had been tunneling for days. They didn't have a clue why, but they'd done it anyway. Finaly they started tunneling upwards and came out somewhere near Cloud.

"Where the crap are we anyway?"

"Don't ask me, you where the one she made the map into a paper hat!"

"Yes, but you helped me! Remember?"

The two had started bickering and Banshee punched Alexis just as she punched him.

They glared at one another, and turned to a random fluffy little squirrel run past for no other reason then to be grabbed by Banshee and thrown at a high force at 3kuls head.

"Why the crap did you just do that?"

"Oh, so you like little cute animals now?"

"What I'm saying is that you should of thrown that blue thing up there at him insted! It would of done more damage, and I don't like it."

"...And?"

[3kul]

3kul noticed the appearance of the hot buttered Panther, but since he wasn't Net he couldn't think of a clever lewd joke appropriate for the situation. Which was a real shame, because there would've been plenty, he was sure of it.

Not really having much else to do, 3kul grew yesterday's newspaper out the side of his head. Unfortunately, it seemed that his brain had gotten confused with the paradoxical nature of the term 'yesterday' and sprouted a can of gophers instead. Emptying the can, 3kul watched the gophers fly away into the sunset, and shed a single tear as he was deeply moved by the symbolism that expressed the fragility of life (either that, or he's having a stroke from producing a gopher can from his head).

Remembering that he was here for a reason, 3kul turned back to the obviously Canadian monkey and the buttery Panther. "Stop, in the name of edutainment!" He shouted, hurling his refreshingly moist burrito at the pair.

As the burrito flew through the air, knowing that it would be killed no matter who it hit, it remembered the good times in it's life, like how it had once been dropped out of the cart and mistaken for a cucumber, thus saving the President's life.

EDIT: Having not really moved at all throughout his entire post for some reason, 3kul is hit in the head by the squirrel thrown. "Ouch, a mystery rodent!" The squirrel wasted no time in squeezing into 3kul's ear and making a nest out of his brain. "I have a sudden and overwhelming urge to stuff my cheeks with acorns..." Thought 3kul, bleeding jellybeans out of his ear.

[Panther385]

"A Canadian Monkey?! This is the end, man! It's aaaaalllll oooveeerrr!" Panther ran around in circles before pulling a random guy out of the ground.

"Who're you?"

"Trevor Nelson, DJ on MTV guy! ....Why're you a blue kitty?"

"Because I was born that way. YOU GOT A PORBLEM, &%$#*!@%?!"

"Okay, okay! Wait, what are you?! ARRRRRGGGBLBLBLLBL!"

After her short conversation, she threw Trevor Nelson at EvilMonkeyInc, then laughed evilly while dancing with a leprechaun. A moist burrito flew through the air and into the midget's mouth, with apparently didn't have any teeth. He swallowed the burrito whole and keeled over.

"P-panther..."

"Yes, my dear leprechaun friend?"

"Tell me wife.. Wait, I don't have a wife.... BLARGH! EECK! *choke* *die*"

"....... Face my feline fury, leprechaun murderer!" Panther produced another fencing sword and charged at HollowEyes, but skidded to a halt when he was hit by a random rodent and began bleeding jellybeans. "Ah, I know what to do!" She exclaimed, pulling the leprechaun's pot of gold from her back pocket. "Well, we don't need this shiny stuff, it's worthless." She dumped the gold on the ground, then placing the pot over the parasitian's head.

[3kul]

((I'm most definately not RPing HollowEyes here Panther, this is just plain old 3kul ))

Unknown to Panther, the pot actually contained a warp portal to the gold universe, where everything is made of gold (the Leprechaun's gold is actually just a bunch of rat droppings). "The bling! It's everywhere! Get it off me!" 3kul ran about in a perfect square (rather than the ever-predictable circle) before the pot somehow became sentient and leapt off of his head.

"Ugh, you're hideous!" Exclaimed the pot, with much distaste. "I'll have you know that my mother thinks otherwise!" "She'd have to be blind to not see how horrendously ugly you are." "Actually, she is blind." The pot was now caught in a socially awkward situation of it's own devising - what had originally been meant as a humourous jab at 3kul's mother had actually shed light on a rather painful reality. Not knowing how to continue the discussion, the pot collapsed inwards on itself, and that's the story of how 3kul single-handedly destroyed the gold universe, and all who dwell within it.

"Actually, she's not blind, I just thought it would be funny to see how you made your way out of the awkward situation. Too bad that it wasn't funny at all. Ah, but what am I saying? We're in the middle of a wedding!" 3kul turned around to Panther, picked up a bible from a nearby pelican and began to read. "Do you, zombie trout farmer, take Panther to be your lawfully wedded husband, 'til breakfast do you part?" "Arghblblblbl." "If anybody opposes the union of these two lovers, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

"I OBJECT!" 3kul looked over to see none other than... The real zombie trout farmer! "This zombie trout farmer is nothing but an imposter! Everybody knows that I am a man who farms zombie trout, not a zombie who farms regular trouts!" 3kul quickly grows a beard and strokes it in a deductive manner. "Then that must mean that the fake zombie trout farmer is none other than..." Walking over to the fake zombie trout farmer, he pulls the imposter's mask off to reveal... "Old Mr Jenkins, the caretaker!" "I would've gotten away with it to if it weren't for you medd- SUCKER PUNCH!" Slugging the bearded 3kul in the jaw, Mr Jenkins hopped into the nearby pelican, making a very slow escape as the bird waddled away, too heavy to fly.

"Somebody stop that man! He's kidnapped my banana collection!" A random monkey cried out. "Don't worry! I have a squirrel in my brain!" Shouted 3kul bravely, before collapsing into a fit of seizures.

[Cloud]

((MWA HA HA. I have started something that has spun wildly out of control. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that would happen ))

*Cloud knew this was his chance. He had been biding his time ever since Addman appeared inside the arena, staring at his opponent long and hard until his eyes fell out. It had taken him a while to get his eyes back in their rightful places. He had even used the zombie trout farmer as eyes once upon a time but that was a different story and should be discussed further when the time is in direct alignment with the explosion of some strange substance. Suddenly an explosion was heard in the background.*

This is no time to discuss what it was like to use the zombie trout farmer as eyes. Oh well, if you insist.

*Thus began Cloud's explanation of what it was like to use the zombie trout farmer as eyes. It was so long winded he had forgotten about the chance that was discussed earlier in this post.*

Wait, now I remember. Mr. Jenkins you shall rue the day you ever stood up against 3kul the brilliant!

*Some may have argued that day that brilliant should have been replaced by insane but others would debate that the word should have been awesome. Whatever that word should have been to this day Cloud would swear brilliant was the word. Even if a unicorn married a tree brillant would have been the word to use. Although deeply disturbing and somewhat off topic (or is it?) it was brilliant. Now onto our unlikely hero!

Cloud jumped on his oxygen powered cupboard, turned the doorknob and revved the doors. When the cupboard brake was released Cloud zipped off in the direction of Mr. Jenkins. Thus began the car chase of 2000543, which is almost impossible unless the cupboard could easily travel through time as easily as one would drive down the motorway. No one knows the powers of the mysterious cupboard unless the rumours were true and this was indeed the cupboard to the magical world of Narnia.*

[LordPsycho]

Unfortunately, as Cloud started down the futuristic Motorway after Old Man Jenkins, non other than a pigmy Marmasat (the smallest of all new world monkeys) fell onto the cupboard at a velocity roughly matching the speed of light minus a couple of hunderd thousand meters per second.

The Pigmy Marmasat got up, wind whipping in his face, when suddenly, he clutched his heart and fell backwards, still somehow staying onto the speeding Cupboard.

Then the most digusting and impossible thing happened, the marmasat's stomach split opened, and DP burst forth, covered in an impossibly large ammount of Marmasat guts.

"'Bout Time, thought I'd drive the entire species extinct before I found the right Marmasat."

DP looked around, and noticed he was on high-speed cupboard on a futurustic motorway chasing after a villianous 3kul puncher.

Before he could react, though, DP's own chest burst open, and thousands of wombats started escaping one at a time at a high velocity, so as to turn the God's chest into a massive wombat Cannon.

Taking Aim, DP fires his chest towards old man Jenkins, but instead hit a shopping cart, knocking off a buritto, which was quickly found by a Presidential aide who mistook it for a Cucumber.

Taking aim again, the Wombats suddenly stop, as does the cupboard, and DP finds himself flying into the kitchen of a diner, and safely lands on the head chef

A rather unpleasent looking waitress comes to the window and tells DP "Hurry up, hot stuff, we've got hungry people to feed."

DP quickly takes the pot, and starts cooking, at which point he goes for the Pocky, which he doesn't find.