The Most Useless Gods Ever

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 11:14 am Post subject: The Most Useless Gods Ever

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS GOING TO WORK?

The God of Creation looked uncertainly at the Goddess of Creation, arms crossed.

The Goddess of Creation sighed. ADAM, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE GONE OVER THIS? EVERYONE WE'VE TRIED TO CREATE HAS DIED. WE NEED TO GET THEM TO STOP.

Adam, the God of Creation, avoided looking at his sister,. He did not want to interact with anyone, not even another god. WHAT IF THIS GOD IS JUST AS BAD AS WE ARE?[/b]

HE'S NOT A GOD, interrupted the Goddess, HE'S A SPIRIT, AND THAT NICE FOX LADY SAID THEY SOCIALIZE WITH PEOPLE ALL THE TIME. IT'S THEIR JOB.

FINE, LILITH, BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME IF THIS BACKFIRES, replied Adam, surrendering.

I'M SUMMONING HIM NOW, warned Lilith. She knelt, floating in the air, as a ball of energy similar to what they normally worked with grew between her hands.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject:

The Spirit of Electricity sat in his beanbag chair, a cup of dawncherry tea in his hand. He'd decided to let it cool a bit, and settled on annoying Sentinel to pass the time.

"Take me out, to the black, tell 'em I ain't coming back..." he sang.

"Burn the land, and boil the--" All of a sudden, his surroundings changed to an endless, white void, interrupted only by two figures.

"--Sea?" Kazumaru squeaked.

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject:

The standing figure blinked. He had pure black hair, and black, pupilless eyes. He wore peasant's clothing and, for the moment, had furry, goat-like legs.

DOESN'T THAT USUALLY TAKE LONGER?

UM, I GUESS NOT, replied the kneeling figure, Lilith. She had dirty white hair, white, pupilless eyes, and looked otherwise human. She also wore peasant's clothing. She changed to a cross-legged position, looking at Kazumaru.

SHOULDN'T WE INTRODUCE OURSELVES?

HUH, I GUESS WE SHOULD, muttered Lilith. She grinned at Kazumaru. HI, UM, CASHMERE, RIGHT? SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU, BUT IT'S RATHER IMPORTANT.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:08 pm Post subject:

Kazumaru adjusted his lab coat, which had started to slide down during the transition. "Er... I'm Kazumaru... Spirit of Electricity." He paused, and looked over at the one with the goat legs.

"I know where this is going, so let's skip the expo, demon: I challenge you... to a rock off!"

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject:

WHAT.

Adam looked incredibly confused.

A "DEMON"? Asked Lilith, also rather confused.

ROCK OFF? Added Adam.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:20 pm Post subject:

Kazumaru looked disappointed. "... oh. Uh, pardon me, then. I guess I was wrong. So, er, who are you two again?"

Man, I never get to have a rock off...

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:31 pm Post subject:

The Gods looked at eachother and shrugged.

ADAM, DESDE GOD OF CREATION, said the demonesque figure.

LILITH, THE-ONE-WHO-CANNOT-CHANGE, GODDESS OF CREATION, said the girl.

THAT FOX PERSON NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT "DEMONS", muttered Adam.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject:

Kazumaru scratched his head.

"Adam and Lilly? Nice names. Real, uh, Terran." he smirked "So, er, what'm I doing in the Allspark?"

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject:

ALLSPARK?

Lilith shrugged.

WELL, WE NEED YOUR AID. SEE, OUR GODS KEEP ON DYING AND WE NEED YOU TO TELL OUR PEOPLE TO STOP. IT'S RATHER BORING HERE WITH JUST THE TWO OF US, AND YOUR PANTHEON HAS SO MANY GODS SO OBVIOUSLY YOU KNOW QUITE A LOT ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING, explained the goddess.

WE AREN'T LETTING YOU GO UNTIL YOU HELP US, Adam added.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:49 pm Post subject:

The wheels in Kazumaru's head began turning, and an idea began forming in his head... before a belt slipped off and he just muttered "I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar..."

"Why don't you tell them yourselves?" he asked, his voice squeaking as he said "elves."

((Ed Tea: JACKPOST!))

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject:

The gods stared blankly at Kazumaru for a moment.

UM. WE... DON'T LIKE PEOPLE? BESIDES, YOU'RE ALREADY HERE.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:56 pm Post subject:

"But I don't wanna help..." Kazumaru pouted. "Why should I help you?"

Shaon · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject:

BECAUSE THAT NICE FOX LADY TOLD US YOU WOULD, AND THAT WE SHOULD MENTION HER IF THERE WAS ANY TROUBLE. I THINK HER NAME WAS INSOMNIA, replied one of the Gods. It was hard to tell which one spoke, as both shared the same voice and neither showed any sign of speech.

Kazumaru · Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject:

"You mean Paranesia? PFft, she won't do anything to me." Kazumaru said, grinning.