OH NOES!!!

Netdroid9 · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:21 am Post subject: OH NOES!!!

*Net stared at the announcement on the message board, shocked at what had happened. Blackstar had become... A D&D-style RPing site.*

Net: Come and have a look at this!
Fort: What?
Net: We've been converted to... To... To rules!
Addman: Hmm... Symptoms may include... Wheezing,
Net: *Wheeze*
Addman: Stomach Pains,
Ashen: OW! MY OVARIES! AGAIN!
Addman: Allergies,
DP: ACHOO! Damn you, failed hay-fever skill check.
Addman: Spontaneous Orgasm,

...
...
...

Raven: OH GODS YES!
Addman: Ahem: Sudden conversion to nerfed classes,
TROT: Woot! I'm a pally! Yayzors!!!
Addman: Spontaneous Attack by HobGoblins,
Net: ARGHBLLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL!!! HOBGOBLINS!
Addman: Weapon Shrinkage,
DP: I'll save you! I'll kill them all with my giant-*Bing!*-ly undersized... GODDAMNIT!
Addman: Skill Points,
Cloud: Skill Points? *Ping* Oooh, Skill Points!
Addman: Sudden conversion to creatures you didn't even know existed,
Fort: *Dwagon-ify!* Sweet! *Attempts to cook muffins on fire-breath and ends up burning them* NOOOOO!!!!
Addman: Sudden convesion to classes that probably don't have any basis in reality whatsoever.
SFOT: *Ping!* Oooh! Findamancer!
Addman: And sudden failure of Spot Checks.
Net: *Ping!* Hey, where'd you all go?
Addman: Quick! We're under attack by HobGoblins! What do we do?!
Net: Where are you all?! *Runs into Addman* ARGH! INVISIBLE FURRY PEOPLE!!!
Raven: *Convulses*
DP: Don't worry! I took a class in Ridiculously Undersized Weaponry five Levels back!
SFOT: I'll cast my Arcane Magicks on them! AH CRAP! MANA BURN! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!
Cloud: Oooh, should I take Pie-eating or Beer-drinking?
Fort: BURN! *Fires puff of smoke at HobGobblins* Oh no! My Fire Points are all gone! NOOO!
Ashen: OWOWOWOWOW...

*The HobGoblins look at each other, sit down and wait for us to collapse of our own accord. When we all eventually wake up we discover to our horror that we've been stripped of all our precious equipment and skill points (At this point Cloud should be screaming something about pies), leaving us to find our way back to a town and try and recuperate our losses.*

***

Basically, it's an RP parodying normal RPGs like D&D, Shadowrun, et cetera.

Right now, we're in town working out our classes, skill points, races, et cetera. And no, there aren't any set classes or races or anything. You can be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Hamster for all I care Wink

.

Cloud · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:48 am Post subject:

Hmm, Pie Master eh? What a skill, I wonder what it does.

*Reads very thick instruction manual*

Cloud: Cool, I can throw pies.
Net: Everyone can throw pies.
Cloud: So you have at least a 30 pie skill then?
Net: ...No.
Cloud: Then you can't! Wait, unless you can throw a double six as you try and pick the pie up.
Net: Come on double six.

*Net rolls dice*

Cloud: While he messes around with that, I wonder what race I am. -*Checks a conveniently placed mirror.*- Hmm, cat like ears, a bit of stubble...some strange pie-like symbol on my forehead...what does this mean.

Addman: Just check the manual
Cloud: What manual?
Addman: The one you were checking a minute ago.
Cloud: That was just the pie throwing handbook.

Goron40 · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 10:45 am Post subject:

Goron: I get to be the mage!
Net: The mage? Isn't that a little... boring?
Goron: You can't have a RPG without a mage dammit!
Net: Fine. You can be a mage.
Goron: Why? Don't you want to be a mage? Or is the mage too good for you?!
Net: No, the mage is fine, it's just not my style.
Goron: Oh so now you're saying that you're better than me?
Net: No of course not... Yes.
Goron: You have crossed the line, good sir! Prepare to be mage-nerfed!

*Goron goes to cast a spell and slips on a pie.*

Goron: Damn you Cloud! I was going to pull a rabbit out of Net's head!

GBE · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 6:28 pm Post subject:

Checking the manual, over and over again, GBE carefully plots down everything that he's going to be and going to do, like a good little roleplayer...

GBE: Aha, I'm going to be the babysitter!
Raven: The what?
GBE: The babysitter, I get to run around healing everyone and everything and never getting harmed as everyone needs me alive to heal them...
Net: Well, it's not parody, it's not random, and not exactly fun either...
Cloud: *Throws a pie at GBE*
GBE: *Casts a shield about himself and reflects the attack to Goron*
Cloud *-10 cool points*
Goron: *-10 cool points, -10 HP, +5 embarrassment factor*
GBE: *+10 cool points, +5 exp, +5 intellect* Told you it wes worth it..
3kul: I'm a nitpicker, with multiple ambidexterity, with enough skill points left over for shield break....
GBE: I knew I forgot something! Quick, we must complete the quest to find the Nitpickers ward..... *Runs away screaming...* *-10 cool points*

Shaon · Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 7:13 pm Post subject:

((You know what's sad? I'm making a shadowrun character. Right now.

Her name's Spathiwa.

She thinks you Non disrupt the flow of Juffo-Wup.))

LordPsycho · Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 5:47 am Post subject:

*DP steps out of the meeting hall.....a Dwarf*

DP: Damnit Net! I know your behind this!
Net: No I'm not!
DP *sneaks behind Net*
Net: Where did he go!
DP: *Backstab's Net for -20 HP, -10 Cool poins, and +5 "Pwned" points, DP gains +5 Cool points, +20 XP*
DP: Cool, I'm the obligatory lock-picker and trap-detector
3kul: Don't you mean a Theif?
DP: Well I'm off to find the Nitpickers ward....

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 7:31 pm Post subject:

If you're a theif, then I must be a... A... A NINJA! MUAHAHAHAHAH! Unless...

***

Ninja: Prepare to die an honorable death! Oh no! He has escaped! I must kill myself to preserve my family's honor!

Vs.

Pirate: I drink grog.

***

Actually, make that a Pirate. I like Pirates. ARR!

Kaoru · White Belt Old Friend Posts: 8

Then I must be... A robot!

*Robot Kaoru rolls towards Net*

R!Kaoru: 1010010011010101!
Net: What?
R!Kaoru: 010101001000101001010!!!!
Net: Sorry, I don't speak Italian.
R!Kaoru: 0101010010101001010101001010! * +5 Insulting points*
Net: Now that was just mean!
R!Kaoru: 101000101011101. * -10 Clean Mind points*
Net: DON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY MOMMA! * +5 Attack points*
R!Kaoru: 10100010. *mechanicized snicker*
Net: *growls, then leaps on Robot!Kaoru* * +10 Attacking-a-robot points*
R!Kaoru: 01001010100000! *tries to roll away on tiny wheels* *+10 Coward points*
Net: Arrrrr! And don't ye come back! *waves a mug of grog at Robot!Kaoru*

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:46 am Post subject:

Hehe, one down, one thousand and eighty-three to go. Yeah, that's right, I have an obligatory vendetta against robot monsters who killed my family, kidnapped my 'sister' and left me stranded until I was picked up by a floating band of pirates who trained me in the ways of pillaging and plumbing until I could take up my quest to recover my 'sister' from their evil robo-ninja ways!

Eat backstory, losers! Now, who wants to join me on my hillariously meaningless quest through heaven and hell to fight off the evil robo-ninjas with an AC of absolute 0 and a cool factor of 3000 for no apparent gain whatsoever?

There's good XP..! Wink

Somefreakoverthere · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:16 am Post subject:

*Sfot stumble forward from over there as a....CAT?*

Sfot: Alright, Net your CERTINLY behind this!
Net: No I'm not, Trot is!
Trot: He's right, you know.
Sfot: Don't lie Net, I don't belive you!
Trot: No, really, it is me behind it...
Sfot: SUPER SCRATCH ATTACK!

*leaps at Net's arm, claws extented*

Jent · Red Belt Old Friend Oblivion Knight Posts: 1049

*Trace notices he is a fighter, but more importantly. He is a human.*

Trace: Well I guess I have to get use to it.......... I need to find something to fix this!!!

*He runs into a bar.*

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:52 am Post subject:

AIEEE! CAMEO FROM OTHER GAME!

-------------------------

Cameo

- Next attack is dodged

- AIEEE! CAMEO FROM OTHER GAME!

-------------------------

*Phew.*

You could join my quest in the hopes of finding and exacting revenge on me as I search for and exact revenge on the robo-ninja horde if you wish. Together, I SHALL BE FOUND!!!

Somefreakoverthere · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:59 am Post subject:

*Brings her claws in and sits on Net's shoulder*

Sfot: Alright, get going then! I'll be taking a nap.

*falls asleep, wrapped around his neck with her paws against his throat.*

Sfot: And don't try and move me or wake me up until you have a decent fish.

MDude · White Belt Old Friend Evil Council Member Posts: 341

So I'm the... *Sees book in his hand* The tutorial guy? Why am I the turorial guy?

Book: Um... You're not. This isn't a video game, there is no tutorial guy.

Me: Then I am...?

Book: The guy witht the talking book.

Me: Ah... and what do you do?

Book: Besides the obvious, you can wave me over any other book, and I'll instantly aquire it's contents. Then I'll tell you what's important to know, so you don't spend hours reading every detail.

Me: But I like doing that.

Book: Exactly.

Netdroid9 · Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 6:56 pm Post subject:

Hmm... JOURNAL TIME!

---------------------------

Day 1: Me and my trusty sidekick, SOFT(?), set out towards the Great Pumpkin Pie Crust in the hopes of finding more information on the Robo-ninja hourde.

Day 2: I think I've been attacked in my sleep! All my Salmon Points are gone, and my precious precious Shiny Armor has been partially chewed through! Whatever shall I do?!

Day 3: I woke up today and SOFT WAS EATING MY ENTRAILS! I had to crawl up to the entrails store and buy a new spleen. I also bought a cage, and plan on trapping her tonight.

---------------------------

Oh SOFT... Where are you..?

((For the record, that's a deliberate misspelling.))